Post-Adoption E-Magazine, May 2012
Post-Adoption Announcements
Photolisting: If you have your own blog or website, consider adding our Photo Listing Widget to help raise awareness of foster children nationwide.
Would you like to help more children from your agency get adopted faster? Click here for a form to add children to our photolisting. This service is FREE to all states and includes a team of technical support and customer service staff to maintain the Photolisting.
Don't see any children from your state? Please contact your local officials to let them know you would like to see children from your state.
Blogging: Interested in Blogging? This is the perfect month to share your story. We're currently looking for guest bloggers for the following categories: Adoptive Parenting and Sibling Adoption.
Parenting and the Single Mom
Being a parent is never easy. Throw being a single mom into the mix and it can become even more difficult and stressful. Single parenting means that you have to play both roles in the family--the mother and the father. This means you have twice as much responsibility than if you had a partner or spouse helping you with the children and the household responsibilities. You have to provide all the necessary income, discipline, and love that your children need. And still, you have to find time to take care of yourself. After all, without you, your children would experience a great loss without you in their lives.
Parenting comes with many challenges, setbacks, and hurdles, but it also comes with ample joy, blessings, and lovely moments. Parenting as a single mother means you need to find that balance of challenges and joy. And remember, both are necessary in any life experience. Without the challenges, you wouldn't have the opportunity to really appreciate the small joys of being a parent.
Most single moms in the modern economy have to work very hard outside the home in order to meet financial obligations. Even so, many single moms can't meet those obligations without some outside help, and maybe you're one of them. If so, the first thing to be aware of is that there is no need to be embarrassed that you need financial help or support. There are programs available to you that were specifically designed to get people back on their feet. Start by learning more about government assistance programs that can help with groceries and child-care needs. Next, speak with a community representative or religious leader that knows about charities or programs that can help you and your family.
While proper financial support is an essential element of being a single mom, so is emotional support. Even though you may feel alone in your parenting responsibilities, you're not. There are many single moms and dads out there that can lend their advice and experience to help bolster and support you. Just about anywhere you look you'll find single parents working hard to make it through each day and to provide their children with good, happy life experiences. You can find them at the local park, in your church congregation, at your child's school, or even in your neighborhood. If you don't know where to look, consider joining a local support group. The relationships you can make at these meetings can help you for the rest of your life.
The most important thing you can do as a single mother is to be happy and hopeful. It's perfectly acceptable to be sad or frustrated or mad, but then let those feelings pass and focus on the joy that is your children. Let your children see how you make the best of any situation. Let them see how much you love them and appreciate who they are. This can bring more happiness into your family and into your home than having lots of money can. So, let family time be a focus.
Single parenting is about working hard to provide for your family-emotionally, financially, and physically-and bringing your loved ones together with an unbreakable bond. You don't have to pay to go to amusement parks or week-long family vacations to Hawaii to be happy. A simple trip to the park or family game or movie night can be just as effective and much more affordable. Build your family memories one day at a time. If you can do this, the stresses of everyday life should lessen and you can focus on what's truly important--your children and your role as a mother.
Post-Adoption Blogs from AdoptionBlogs.com
Date Night With My Daughter
It has been eight years since we got the kids, and it has literally been survival mode ever since. If you’ve parented special needs kids (especially more than one at one time), you know what I’m talking about.[more]
Parenting the Impossivle Job
A counselor once told me, “All parents make some mistakes, a lot of parents make many mistakes, and a few parents make horrible mistakes. When you make a mistake, how you repair that damage can be powerful in bonding with your kids.” [more]
Post-Adoption Community, News & Events
Sharing With Others From Experience - Bio-dad: To contact or not to contact
Adoptee Support - Dan Rather Reports - May 1, 2012
Media For Adoptees - Embryo Adoption And Dignity Of An Adopted Person
Add your non-marketing adoption related event at no cost. Get started today by registering for an account.
Post-Adoption Tip of the Month
Take some time this month and talk to your children about Birthmother's Day, which is the Saturday before Mother's Day.
In Your Words
"I am the mother of a 2-year-old boy named Anthony and a first-mother to an 8-month-old boy named Niilo. I made the decision to give Niilo up for adoption to his birth father's aunt when I was 2 months pregnant. The best quote I heard was that the hardest decisions you make as a parent are often the best ones. The depression and grief settled in immediately. I often would hide indoors to avoid questions about the pregnancy that with my first child I was more than happy to answer. I remember the adoption paperwork being the knife in my heart. It was real now. "The adopting mother arrived from Alaska and that day I went into labor. I had him via c-section. The adopting mother was so supportive and held my hand through it all. I heard him cry for the first time and my heart melted into a puddle. Then I saw his beautiful face and my heart broke. He looked just like his father. The nurses and doctors were amazing and took such good care of me. The nurse who assisted in the OR was an adopted child, and she understood my pain and told me I was courageous in my decision. My son left 11 days later to alaska. I got to spend some time with him and hold him before he left. That was the hardest goodbye I have ever endured. "I don't regret my decision, instead I try to embrace it. He's made so many people happy and for that I am thankful. I receive pictures and updates all the time. It still hurts so bad. I feel a bit of jealousy when someone has a baby. I have a horrendous feeling of guilt that I can't shake. I do try. I still have a wonderful son to care for and he keeps me from losing my sanity. I would love to connect with other first-mothers and not feel so alone. That is MY journey as a first-mother." - Sarah
Have a question? Comment? In Your Words is your way to reach out to the adoption community and get tips from others and share important information.
Share Your Thoughts with Us
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