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Pregnancy can come with a different slew of emotions for each individual. For some, it's a joyous and happy time. For others, it comes with fear, confusion, and heartache. The last category is generally reserved for those who experience an unplanned pregnancy. One of the first things you've probably done after confirming your unplanned pregnancy was to list and evaluate your options. One viable option is adoption. But even after you decide that adoption is the right path for you and your child, you still have more decisions to make, namely the type of adoption you want. You have three basic choices-an open, semi-open, or closed adoption. Each has its own benefits and drawbacks, and you'll need to understand each before you can make your ultimate decision. With that in mind, here are some pros and benefits of choosing an open adoption.
It's Always Custom-Made - Every open adoption relationship is unique. It's always custom-made to fit the needs and expectations of all involved parties. Choosing an open adoption will give you the opportunity to work directly with the adoptive family to decide what's acceptable in your open adoption relationship. This could include frequency and involvements of visits, letters, photos, and phone calls. If you're uncomfortable attending family birthday parties or holiday dinners, that's fine! If you'd rather just receive letters and photographs throughout the year, you can make it work. No two open adoption relationships are created the same; that's because every placement is unique.
Chance to Have a Relationship - While you may not be immediately ready to develop and cultivate a relationship with your child after placement, open adoption provides you with the future opportunity to do so. And if you're ready to stay involved in your child's life, open adoption is the only way to go. The other types of placement do not usually allow for such open involvement.
Reduced Fear, Guilt, and Uncertainty - Sometimes birth parents can experience fear, uncertainty, and guilt post-placement. These feelings can be heightened with closed adoption because you'll be left unaware of your child's upbringing and adjustment. Plus, with closed adoption, you likely won't ever be in contact with the adoptive parents, meaning you'll have no real idea what type of people they are, and that can be scary. But open adoption can give you a better understanding of the role both you and the adoptive parents will play in your child's life.
A Better Sense of Control - Post-placement, some birth parents can feel that they lack control, and that's a scary feeling to have. Open adoption allows for a better sense of control for all involved parties. Open adoption also allows the birth parents to control their own destiny, in a sense. You'll be able to keep tabs on the health, wellbeing, and happiness of your growing child. And sometimes that's enough to calm a troubled heart.
Open adoption is one of the many options you should consider. If you're uncomfortable with it, there's no problem with choosing a different type of adoption. The type of adoption you choose is not the most important thing. The most important thing is coming to an informed decision based on research and your needs. When you can do that, you've completed one of the hardest tasks already.
The information and links displayed above relate to profile posting services provided on the ParentProfiles.com web site, which is a service of Adoption Profiles, L.L.C., who sponsors this section and is solely responsible for its content.
In the current living situation I am in, it can sometimes feel very boxed in, and very limiting, but I found that looking at it in a positive light changes how I react or perceive what I feel as I leave and come home. Within this series of thoughts I can see the need for change, and want the change more then before. In this thinking I was brought to more realization-- [more]
If you have an unplanned pregnancy and are considering whether to abort or give your baby up for adoption, it is important to know the health risks of each. Being aware of the physical and emotional consequences abortion and childbirth can be helpful in making your decision. [more]
There is so much to understand before choosing to terminate the pregnancy, place the child for adoption, or parent your child, including the Putative Father Registry, paternity testing, and implied paternity.
"I got pregnant when I was 14. I was so scared and I bought a pregnancy test and I got postive. I was more scared, but the hard part was telling my mom. I told my boyfriend and he was scared, but he said he was going to be there for me in every way. I waited a while, like 3 months, then my mom started noticing I was fat and I had missed my period. Another month passed by and I was already at my 4th month and I started to throw up and my clothes didn't fit. I just didn't know what to do. But one day my mom sneaked up on me in the shower and looked at my belly. I started crying and she just kept saying, "in what part of your life did I raise you wrong?" She started to cry. The next day she took me to go get tests done. The baby was okay; that was the good part. As the due date approached, my mom told me that when the baby was born I could no longer live with her. I would have to move out. By that point, my life just started crashing down on me. My boyfriend was there for me in every thing. The day before my birthday my baby was born. At that point, I was gone and lost. I moved in with my boyfriend and his mom. She was the best; she took care of my baby while I finished school. Now my baby is 4 and I'm 18, and my boyfriend and I are still together. I'm happy, even if I haven't seen my mom. I'm a freshman in college and I can't ask for anything better, even if I don't get to see my mom or my family members." - Josephina R.
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