Blogging: Have you registered in our Reunion Registry? Have you been searching or recently reunited with your birth family? Are you interested in Blogging? This is the perfect opportunity for you to share your Search and Reunion story! We're currently looking for Search and Reunion volunteer bloggers.
The search and reunion process is different for everyone. Everyone has different motivations, expectations, and reunion goals, not to mention a myriad of different adoption or placement experiences. All of these factors can determine the success of a reunion. And success doesn't necessarily mean a positive reconnection. For some, reunion is more about the process, a chance to partake of learning of self. No matter what you expect or what you've experienced as a birth parent, here are some practical search and reunion tips:
Define Your Search
The first thing to understand is that there are two basic types of searches, an active search and a passive search. An active search is when you're searching for information on that other person. It means you're searching through records and social networking profiles, and you're doing the necessary legwork to make your dream of reunion come true.
A passive search simply means that you put your personal information out there and you hope that someone-that special person-will come across you in their own search. Both types of searches can be effective and useful, and not one type of searching is better than the other. Choose the one that makes you comfortable. If you're feeling overwhelmed with the search process, start with a passive search and then build up to an active search.
Next, you're going to need to do a little research on state laws regarding private and identifying information, sealed birth records, and so forth. It will only benefit you to know the guidelines and laws, so you won't waste time pursuing an avenue that may never work. Knowing and fully understanding the applicable state laws on adoption can help you plan your search that much better. You'll be better organized and more informed. And that's a great place to start.
Keep a Record
Throughout your search and reunion journey, keep a record of everything you do and everything you feel. Not only will this help you not repeat useless searches you've already completed, but you will be able to look back on your emotional and mental progress, too. Remember, this is a journey to find someone dear to your heart, but it's also a journey to get to know yourself on a deeper level. Keeping some type of record or journal is a great way to stay organized and connected to the emotional side of things. And things will get emotional.
Start with Free
When beginning or continuing your reunion journey, you'll soon find out that you have many options. You'll find search professionals, search websites and profiles, and so on. While it's great that you do have options, it can easily become overwhelming. So, start with the free services and try your luck there. If you haven't met ideal success, then move on to the paid services.
Searching and reconnecting with a loved one can take anywhere from a few hours to a few decades. Sometimes, reconnection isn't a possibility because of a death. But even so, the search is always worth it. It's about the journey, your journey.
No matter where you are in the search and reunion process, it can be difficult to keep your head up and your thoughts positive. The reunion search can be a tiring journey, physically, emotionally, and mentally. [more]
There are moments in life that can change all that you thought to be true. It happens in the blink of an eye and often, without any warning. It may be a choice you make, a thought you have, a new person coming in to, or leaving your life, possibly a choice someone else makes for you, or even in their own lives. [more]
Before you start your search, make sure you research and understand the difference between open and sealed adoption records and what you need to do to get the information you need.
"After 21 years of wondering and hoping, my older sister and I finally found our mother. My sister was browsing on the internet and googled her name and this website came up. We saw some of our family information and so I decided to do some further research. I went on online phone directories and started calling people. I got in touch with one of my aunts in New York who gave me my grandmother's phone number. After verifing who I was, my grandmother finally gave me my mother's number. After she verified who I was, it was all tears from there. I now live in the same city and state as my birth mother and see her almost every day. Our bond is a little different but it's good to be around her. We fight, we fuss, but for the most part we get along. Nowadays, I'm meeting more and more of my birth family. My birth mother has 7 kids total and 6 grandkids, and for the most part we're all happy." - Andrea
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