Still Searching? Announcing Adoption.com's all new Registry!
No more guessing and searching. Let the site work for you with new features and notifications. And all for just $9.99 per year! Take a look at all the new upgrade features.
Our new Premium Service will make it faster and easier to post your information and search. With new automated search features and notifications the information will come to you. Plus you will be able to see who is searching for you!
We hope you will consider upgrading your Profile. For just $9.99 per year you can have all the upgraded features available in the Registry. As a special thank you we are also including a copy of our Search & Reunion E-Book with helpful tips and recommendations.
Check out all the Adoption.com Reunion Registry has to offer and sign-up today!
Blogging: Have you registered in our Reunion Registry? Have you been searching or recently reunited with your birth family? Are you interested in Blogging? This is the perfect opportunity for you to share your Search and Reunion story! We're currently looking for Search and Reunion volunteer bloggers.
No matter which side of the adoption triad you find yourself, adoption has ultimately affected you, both in good and bad ways. Even so, there are some core issues that many adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents have in common. Before you can overcome these core issues, you must first be able to identify them in yourself. Only then can you move forward with the healing and forgiveness process. You deserve to be happy. Never let the below core issues hold you back from living a full life, no matter your adoption experiences.
Grief - If you're a birth parent, your grief may be the result of placing your child. You may have felt pressured or coerced to make the decision or you later regretted your decision. Even if you don't regret your placement decision, grief can come because you feel as though something very important is missing from your life, even if you feel that placement was the best decision you could've made. As an adoptee, grief may showcase itself if you feel as though you don't belong in your adoptive family or that your family doesn't understand you. As an adoptive parent, you may be stricken with grief for the pain your child is going through or because of the emotional pain experienced by the birth parents.
Rejection - All members of the triad can feel rejected. Birth parents may feel rejected by the child, the adoptive parents, family members, and even community members. Adoptive parents may feel rejected as the child ages or when attachment and bonding doesn't naturally occur. Adoptive parents may also feel rejection from other mothers who feel superior because their children were physically birthed by them. As for adoptees, the most common reason to feel rejected is because your biological parents placed you with another family. Even if you know the reason behind that decision, it can hurt to feel as though you weren't wanted in the first place.
Intimacy - If you have issues with trusting others, chances are you have issues with intimacy. This could include intimacy between family members, friends, or a significant other. You may feel uncomfortable telling personal or private information to others, even if they've never betrayed you before. The core issue with intimacy goes along with feelings of rejection.
Identity - While this can affect every member of the triad, it is mainly focused to adoptees and even birth parents. As humans, a large part of our emotional identity comes from our heritage and what's been passed down to us from our parents. And when, as an adoptee, that knowledge isn't readily available, you can feel lost, alone, and isolated. You may have a hard time finding out who you are and where you belong.
Now that you've determined what adoption has triggered in your own life, it's time to move forward, even if it's just one small step at a time. Join a support group or speak with a counselor. You deserve to move forward with your life, and this is the first step. It also may be the hardest step. But once you can make that progress, you will have the confidence and the courage to continue moving forward.
Wow, I think back on when I was placed with my family and it just makes me smile. My first several years my mom was so afraid that if she didnít tell me about how they got me, that Iíd learn it from someone else and she didnít want that to happen.... more
Reuniting with your family members can be a difficult and arduous journey. For some, the search is simple, quick, and easy. For others, it is a process-a long process, at that... more
If you've discovered later in life that you were adopted, it can be overwhelming to deal with all those emotions and all your questions. Take some time to reflect on your situation and then ask those important questions. It may give you a better insight into why you weren't told at a younger age.
"I was pregant fifty years ago, when Society shunned me. My Dad sent me away to a Home for Unmarried Mothers. I had my baby alone. My daughter was taken away from me on my 16th Birthday. I struggled with shame, guilt and secrecy for nearly forty years, wondering what my child looked like; even, was she still alive. By a miracle I found her. We are very happily united now. The shame has dissipated and the truth can be told." - Jonny A.
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