Post-Adoption E-Magazine, October 2012
Post-Adoption Announcements
Find out who is looking for you or find the one you are looking for. Start your search or upgrade today on the Adoption Registry at: http://registry.adoption.com/upgrade.php
Find out what others are saying...
"I had not checked the registry in about 6-9 months but on Monday 8/20 I decided to give it a look in case my birthdaughter was looking for me. After I upgraded and my profile was brought up I noticed the first name on my contact list was the name of the baby girl I turned over for adoption.
As I read her profile it dawned on me that this young woman may very well be her; her birthdate was the same as my birthdaughters and she knew my maiden name. I sent her an email that very day and I heard from her that evening. We have been communicating via email since then and are learning many things about each other. She joined the registry July of this year. I never believed she would find me on a site such as this but it happened. Thank you so much for making this possible reunion happen!"
A Birth Mother
Photolisting: Now is the perfect time to raise foster and adoption awareness. If you have your own blog or website, consider adding our Photo Listing Widget to help raise awareness of foster children nationwide.
Would you like to help more children from your agency get adopted faster? Click here for a form to add children to our photolisting. This service is FREE to all states and includes a team of technical support and customer service staff to maintain the Photolisting.
Don't see any children from your state? Please contact your local officials to let them know you would like to see children from your state.
Blogging: Interested in Blogging? This is the perfect month to share your story. We're currently looking for guest bloggers for the following categories: Adoptive Parenting and Sibling Adoption.
Dealing with Unsolicited Comments
For some reason, when people know you've adopted, they feel they have a right to ask rude or insensitive questions and provide you with many unsolicited comments. Many times, these comments are a result of your family being bi-racial or bi-cultural. And dealing with these comments can be aggravating, stressful, and even overwhelming. Unfortunately, you'll meet these people over and over again, from going to the grocery store, picking up your child from school, or while attending your church meetings. Instead of letting it upset you, take a look at the below list to find out how you can deal with unsolicited comments.
Understand - The first part is to make an effort to understand what they're trying to ask you and why they're asking you that question or making that comment. Sometimes simply stepping into someone else's shoes can help you better understand their intention and their motivation. Chances are they're not trying to offend you or be rude. They're curious and, unfortunately, ill-informed. If you can understand where they're coming from, then it may be easier to remain calm and continue to the next steps on this list.
Educate - Education is powerful. When you've been approached and seemingly attacked by unsolicited comments, see it as a teaching moment. This is your chance to educate that person about adoption, what it means in general, and what it means to your family. You can educate them on international or bi-racial adoption, too, if that's applicable to your situation. Teach them the correct adoption-friendly terms to use and that adoption makes you the family of that child, no matter where your child was born or what ethnicity she or he is. Some people may be hesitant to accept the education you're giving them, but that's their loss. You tried and that's what counts.
Inform - Now, it's time to inform. Tell those who are being rude or overly nosey how you feel and how their language or questions offends you. It's OK to say that you're offended by a phrase or a word or even their question. While it may be an awkward--or maybe empowering!--conversation, it needs to be said. If you take the time to inform just one person, then that one person can apply it to themselves and then share it with others. This step is the perfect time to promote adoption awareness and encourage unity, understanding, and respect.
These three basic steps can help you regain control of the situation, help inform and educate those around you, and increase your pride and love of your life and your family. Receiving unsolicited comments come with the adoption territory, but they don't have to get you down. Use your knowledge to help others and help yourself. You'll be glad you did.
Post-Adoption Blogs from AdoptionBlogs.com
Help My Son is Missing
Not physically. The five-foot-eight lanky kid with the hazel eyes is still here. In fact, he’s sitting across the table from me right now making it perfectly clear how much he resents my expectation... more
Adoption Relationships Change and That's OK
“I’m thinking about coming out there to go to school,” Bri said. Jammie could sense some hesitancy in her voice and knew exactly the reason why....more
Post-Adoption Community, News & Events
Adoptee Support - illegal adoption?
Making Contact & Communicating - Original Illinois Birth Certificate
Birth and Adoptive Family Relationships - Adoptees and birth siblings in reunion
Adoptee Support - A new twist on an old struggle.
Add your non-marketing adoption related event at no cost. Get started today by registering for an account.
Post-Adoption Tip of the Month
School is in full swing. If your child is struggling with classwork, homework, or even social situations at school, don't hesitate to work with the teacher to take care of the issues. Your child could always use one more advocate, especially at school.
In Your Words
I have two sons
One born from my body
One from my heart
Two boys came to this family in very different ways
Two boys loved very much the same
Two boys with different blood in their veins
Two boys loving each other, playing boy games
Two boys with very different pasts
Two boys laughing and rolling in the grass
Two boys who learned to walk in different homes
Two boys enjoying chocolate ice cream cones
These two boys may not be biological
But they were brought together in a way that was very magical
Have a question? Comment? In Your Words is your way to reach out to the adoption community and get tips from others and share important information.
Share Your Thoughts with Us
Have something to share in the next issue of the emag? Please use the form below to tell us about your thoughts, comments, experiences, feedback, etc. Your submission may appear in an upcoming issue of the emag.
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