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Your mind is a powerful tool. It has the power to change how you perceive a situation and how you react to it. It's not easy, but it is possible. Ultimately, you have the power and control over how you feel and how you continue onward, even when life has left some tall and seemingly impossible hurdles to jump over. An unplanned pregnancy has the potential to upset you, depress you, and anger you. You may feel confused and alone. You may also feel betrayed and scared. But you don't have to feel that way. Changing your perspective of your situation is within your grasp. It will take some hard work and dedication, but every little step brings you closer to your end goal--happiness and allowing your experiences to teach you something valuable.
First, instead of thinking of your unplanned pregnancy as a negative experience, change that experience to a positive one. Consider it an opportunity to strengthen yourself. Consider it a chance to better understand yourself. Many times, struggles may tear down our walls we put up around ourselves. This leaves us feeling exposed, but being exposed for a short time isn't always a bad thing. Exposure of yourself allows you to perhaps be more open to different experiences and opportunities that you may not have been open to before. You may feel at your weakest, but it's a necessary part of life in order to become your strongest self.
Second, you may feel out of control and powerless, but that's not the case. You actually have the power and control to make the next decisions in experiencing your unplanned pregnancy. You have three basic options, including placing the child, parenting, or terminating the pregnancy. If you're an adult, you have complete control over your options. Take some time to really study and analyze your options and pinpoint which one will be best for you situation, your life, and your goals for the future. Take control of your situation and do what you feel is best for both you and the baby.
Third, if you choose adoption, you can make an arrangement that is custom-fit to your life. However, remember that adoption is just one of your many options. No adoption agreement is the same. No matter if you choose an open, closed, or semi-open adoption agreement, it means something different to each person. If you want to be able to see your child that you placed once a year, you can set up an arrangement for that. If you prefer to only receive emails or photos, that's another option. All you have to do is find the right prospective adoptive parents who agree with or want the same type of agreement as you do. Then both of you can work together to the common good of your child.
No matter your experiences, you can always learn something from them. Take a moment to reflect on what you've learned during your unplanned pregnancy and how that knowledge has made you a better and stronger person. A simple change of perspective can make a heartbreaking and scary experience into one that can become valuable to you, even if the pain persists. If you need help changing your perspective, you can visit with a counselor or join a support group. Even if you feel as though you're alone in this, it's important to remember that you're not. Yes, you are experiencing something incredibly difficult, but find the silver lining surrounding your dark rain cloud.
The information and links displayed above relate to profile posting services provided on the ParentProfiles.com web site, which is a service of Adoption Profiles, L.L.C., who sponsors this section and is solely responsible for its content.
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"When I was 14, I placed my son for adoption. It was an open adoption. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. For years there was a hole in my heart. I didn't know what to do with myself. I know I did the right thing, but it still didn't make it easier. When I was 22 I found out I was pregnant again, an amazing surprise! I started searching for books and websites, any information on people starting a family after adoption. To my surprise, I wasn't unable to find anything. It was almost like people are ashamed. So when my second son was born, I decided that I was going to write a book, not only about my experience of putting my firstborn up for adoption, but that later on in my life I would also write a book about having a family after placing a child. When my second son was born I became extremely ill and I didn't think I was going to make it, so I wrote an extremely quick draft of what I thought would be my first and only book so that both of my sons would understand my story." - Cortni
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