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Deciding to place a child can be emotionally taxing, to say the least. But placing multiple children at once can be completely devastating. It's a difficult decision to make, but many parents choose this route because they believe it's the best option for their specific situation. And maybe you find yourself in this same situation. If you're considering placing multiple children at the same time, your reason is probably different than the next person's.
Perhaps your life took a turn that you weren't expecting and you weren't prepared. This could include medical, financial, mental, and emotional issues and concerns. Perhaps you lost your job and can't afford parental responsibilities or you have an illness that inhibits your ability to care for your children. Whatever the reason is, making the choice to place several of your children isn't easy. Here are some key things to keep in mind as you consider this option or move forward with the process.
Support - The right support is essential in these types of situations. You will be stressed, nervous, anxious, and scared. Having support doesn't necessarily mean that your loved ones agree with your decision, but it means they trust your judgment and support and love you. If you have the support of your loved ones, consider yourself very lucky. Those are great people to have around you. However, if you don't have loved ones that can be your support system, all is not lost. You can still reach out to others and gather them as your support. Consider joining a support group or visiting with a counselor. They can help give you the love, support, and insight you need to make the best decision for your situation.
Expressing Your Wants - Because you're in a vulnerable position, it's crucial that you can express your wants when it comes to the placement of your children. If you want them placed together as a sibling set, make that known. If they are adopted through an agency, you can sift through the prospective parents for those who will adopt siblings. However, if your children are taken to foster care, they may not be able to keep them together. Just remember that every situation is different.
Court Ordered - If your children are taken out of your custody and placed in foster care because of a court order, the judge will let you know if you have to meet certain requirements before your children are placed back in your care. These requirements could include rehab, therapy, holding down a job, or simply cleaning up your home. If you don't accomplish these requirements prior to the deadline, your children will most likely be placed in foster homes.
Find Representation - No matter what you decide, it's best if you have someone fighting for you. Find someone to represent you, someone who is fully versed on adoption laws and guidelines. This can save you a lot of heartache and confusion. There are some people who may try to take advantage of you and your situation. Having someone with you to watch out for you will guard against that.
Placing multiple children at once is no easy feat. It can take planning and ample research. It may not be an easy decision to make, but it may also be the best decision for yourself and your children. But only you can determine if that's true. Remember that there's no need to feel shame or embarrassment. Doing what is best for your children is heroic, whether or not that is placing them or deciding to parent them. Find the support you need to help you along your journey, wherever that ends up taking you.
The information and links displayed above relate to profile posting services provided on the ParentProfiles.com web site, which is a service of Adoption Profiles, L.L.C., who sponsors this section and is solely responsible for its content.
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"My name is Rose Marlin. I was pregnant when I was 17. I remember I went to school with a huge belly. My boyfriend stared at me funny. I was scared that I might give birth in class. My mom was very angry with me. I cried at night because of the pain. My pregnancy was unexcpected. One Sunday, I was lying in my bed. All the sudden, I knew I would have had given birth. But, I lost my baby. I couldn`t get over it. I am now 28 years old." - Rose
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Note: Our authors are dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent, and open conversation about adoption. The opinions expressed here may not reflect the views of Adoption.com.