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When you think of partner abuse, you may automatically think of physical or verbal abuse. But there is another type of partner abuse to be aware of, and itís just as threatening, frightening, and hurtful as the other types of abuse. This other type of abuse is a combination of psychological and sexual abuse, and it occurs when someone forces another person to have sex without a method of birth control or the birth control method chosen is sabotaged in order for the woman to become pregnant. Some women do this intentionally to become pregnant, but then itís no longer an unplanned pregnancy. However, when a man forces or sabotages and you become pregnant, what do you do? Where do you go? How do you make those important decisions when dealing with the emotional trauma that comes along with this type of abuse?
If your partner forced you to have sex for any reason, report it to the police. Donít hesitate. Donít wait to see if heís apologetic. This is abuse, and no one deserves to be abused. And no one has the right to abuse someone else. You can put a stop to it by reporting the crime.
If you need immediate help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They are available all day and all night, 365 days a year. They can help you get to a safe place. You can also go to their website and get tips on how to stay safe, the red flags of abusive or unhealthy relationships, and even helping you understand your rights.
Reach Out for Support
Even though you may feel alone, youíre not. Unfortunately, there are many out there who have been abused in some way or another, even those who had their birth control sabotaged or were forced to stop taking it altogether. You can find local support groups in your community. Or, if you want to maintain some privacy of your identity, you can join an online support group.
Consider Your Options
Now that youíve reported the crime, got help, and found support, itís time to consider your options. Youíre pregnant and you have decisions to make, even though you were essentially forced into pregnancy from an abusive partner. During the coming days and weeks, ask yourself how youíre going to move forward. How will you heal? Will you parent or place the child? Will you terminate the pregnancy? This wonít be an simple decision to make, but it has to be made.
Dealing with an abusive partner isnít easy. Neither is an unplanned pregnancy. And dealing with both situations at the same time can seem nearly impossible. But if you follow the steps above and listen to your intuition, youíll be able to navigate these rough waters in front of you. If you need help, donít hesitate to ask for it. There are people and organizations all around you to give you the support, protection, and advice you need to regain control of your life. You deserve to be happy. Itís time to take the first step.
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"My pregancy wasn't planned. I wanted to wait to have kids but then it happened. I wasn't ready. I even thought about adoption, but then as I got through my pregnancy I realized it's a gift from God. After realizing that I took responsibility for my actions, and I decided to keep it. Everything happens for a reason and I'm learning it won't be easy, but it won't be hard if you do the right things and be a parent. The father of the baby and his family have been here when no one else was. Ilove them for that. I can't wait for my little girl to get here. She will be my pride and joy and I know she's actually mine, not someone else's. She's going to always be there when I'm happy, sad, up, or down. She's going to be my shining star and I love her already. I'm ready to be that number 1 mommy. So if you're pregnant and want to give your baby up, think twice, because the things you never had you can give to your child. And you made that child, so take control or your actions and be a parent. Tomorrow is never promised and I hope my comments help you." - Shannel
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