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Re: Behavior Control with a Behavior Plan for Foster Children - Laurie, a foster mom April 16th, 2004
Most children in foster care are there through no fault of their own, but because they were abused or neglected by their parents. Parents whose children are placed in foster care may have substance abuse, domestic violence, criminal or mental health issues. The bottom line is placement is based on the parents' inability to care for the child, not because the child is in some way flawed.
In Response to Laura - Kelly Rogers April 16th, 2004
I can't understand why any birth parent would be "shocked" to hear from their adopted child. I am aware of my son's existence every single day. I celebrate his birthday in my heart every single year. And I patiently wait for the day that he will finally want to know me. Chances are she didn't receive your first letter. Why don't you write her another letter and explain that to her unless she replies in some form. Tell her you will come visit her in person because you have no way of knowing whether or not she's receiving your letters, and you can't just walk away without some sort of communication, even if it's just to tell you that she is not ready to know you yet.
To: 'Confused in Maine' - K. McPeek April 16th, 2004
I am also the wife of an adoptee. Reading what you said was exactly what me and my husband went through. He was frustrated and even called his birthmother not-so-nice names because he felt she did not want him, and he held anger for her that bothered me. I told him he did not know what her situation was and should not judge her. He started to help me search then was afraid (he later told me of rejection) and just went cold. He then said he did not ever want to meet her but wanted his medical information alone.
Dealing With Adoption Detours - Joanne Green April 16th, 2004
An adoptive parent's grief is increased because there is very often no real sense of closure. After all, the child really is still alive, and where there is life, there is hope. I often find myself wondering where my daughters are and what they look like now. I held out hope for years that I would be see my older daughter again someday, but that hope was never realized. We finally had to "close the door" on that area of our lives so we could move on.
"How Many More Must Suffer?": The Broken Foster Care System in America - Lawrence P. Adams April 12th, 2004
Foster care is supposed to be a temporary situation for a child. The goal is usually reunification with a child's natural family, or if that is not possible, placement with an adopted family. The system failed me on both counts. One foster family attempted to adopt me, not once or twice, but three times, only to be turned down. The system considered them to be good enough to be my foster family, but not good enough to provide me a permanent home through adoption as they wished. This, despite the fact that caseworkers had placed me in this same home three different times for a total of six and a half years.
Thinking of an Affair? Then Think Again. - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW April 12th, 2004
Affairs, as a strategy for coping with a poor marriage, do not work. They undermine the integrity of the marriage and the individuals involved. There is tremendous damage done to the sense of trust between the partners that may never be recovered. Further, the individuals involved have compromised their personal integrity and must live with that very serious blemish for the rest of their lives. This is a heavy personal burden – knowing they have acted deceitfully and are now untrustworthy when trust matters most.
Be a Voice for Children - Mary Boo April 12th, 2004
Sponsor a foster doll or similar project-Many groups have used a foster doll project to promote understanding of and support for needed services. The Alabama Foster and Adoptive Parent Association recently delivered 140 thrift store dolls to the governor, legislators, and child welfare administrators and asked the officials to care for the dolls. Then they sent letters highlighting needed policy changes. Due to these efforts, legislators voted to increase adoption assistance benefits.
Dangers to Your Unborn Child - Healthfinder April 12th, 2004
"Alcohol has been damaging the human fetal brain for centuries, but the link between alcohol and fetal brain damage was not recognized until 30 years ago. That alcohol damages the brain by driving neurons to commit suicide was discovered only very recently," Olney says in a prepared statement.
Wondering Who I Am - Julianne Hanckel April 05th, 2004
My dad always tells me about the first time he saw me. Supposedly I had huge blue eyes, eyelashes as long as the Nile, and was so observant that I almost knocked his head off every time I turned my head because I saw something new. All I can picture is me, sitting in the playroom at the adoption agency and my mom and dad coming into the room, with Sue Sullivan who was my adoption case worker at the time. Playing with my little doll, my dad walks over to me, and I just stare at him. For some reason, as my dad tells me, I knew that they were going to be my parents.
Women of Faith - Press Release April 05th, 2004
In 30 arenas across the country, six hilarious, wise, and life-tested women -- each a decidedly atypical mother -- are telling their stories to 350,000 of their closest friends. This is Women of Faith: six headline speakers who break the greeting-card mold: from the adoptive mother whose daughter finds her biological family intact to a woman resisting her son's desire to fight overseas.
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