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Help? - Tim H. December 12th, 2003
I was born Timothy Lewis Poling to a Mrs. Lee L. Poling. My adoptive parents have not been much help in my search, and I donít feel right asking them for a whole lot of help. Apparently, I was abandoned in my home in Licking County at a pretty young age, only about 2 or 3. When this happened, I was left there for a couple days until a neighbor called the police to complain about me crying for 2 days straight. When the police arrived, I came right to them, and quit crying. I was placed in a foster home, and was adopted out to my current "parents", a nurse and a doctor who didnít really have time for kids. I didnít have a HARD childhood, just not the one I would have preferred I guess.
Bonding and Attachment -- When it Goes Right - Lawrence B Smith L.C.S.W. - C., L.I.C.S.W. December 04th, 2003
Bonding is the basic link of trust between infant and caretaker, usually the mother. It develops from repeated completions, particularly during the first six months, of the following cycle: infant need --> crying --> rage reaction --> parental action to meet need --> satisfaction --> relaxation. Successful bonding results in an infant acquiring a basic trust in others as responsive, in the world as a benign place, and in self as able to communicate needs.
April in June - April E. Dinwoodie December 04th, 2003
Each person I came into contact with had personally been touched by adoption. The wonderful couple whose house I visited (unannounced, mind-you) had adopted two children and had worked to open birth records in Connecticut. The next person who I connected with was an old friend of my birth mother and after telling her why I was searching for her long-lost friend she confessed to me that she had surrendered a child when she was a young woman. I was floored at the coincidence that was occurring around me. I was so grateful, because when I needed it most, I found authentic understanding and genuine compassion.
An Adoptive Mother's Grief - Adam's mom December 04th, 2003
Five years later, we (my husband and I) have mastered terminology such as attachment disorder, suicidal ideology, childhood onset bipolar, attention deficit disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, psychotropic medication, and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome to name a few. Our son, whom we adopted at age 7, now resides in a treatment facility for emotionally disturbed boys.
Black Market Adoption - Linda Williams December 04th, 2003
I was in hard labor and was refused pain medication because I was told it would harm the baby. On Jan. 26th at 4:50 am, I delivered a baby boy, or I was told by the Dr it was a boy. I was awake during the birth, and upon delivery I asked what I had. The Dr told me it was a boy. I then ask if he had any hair, and she said no; it is a little bald headed boy. I was then put to sleep. When I awoke around 8 am that same day, I was told by the nurse that my baby had died at birth.
Re: What is Attachment Disorder? - Josee Larose December 04th, 2003
How can such a separation NOT cause a profound trauma that, sometimes, results in Attachment Disorder? A.D. is a failure of trust that life and people are reliable and will meet the child's needs. Some children who have suffered through such a traumatic separation from their mother subconsciously decide that NOBODY is to be trusted. To them, love and dependency equal pain. To avoid pain, they avoid love.
Support Groups for Adoptive Parents with Searching Children - in Existence? - Janice K. November 26th, 2003
Two years ago, we adopted our child internationally. She had lived in an orphanage since shortly after birth and was 16 months old. We have her birth mother's name through orphanage documents. When the time comes, we will give our daughter all the information we have. Though it may be years away, the thought already makes me cry.
One Birthmother Still Searching - Gail M. November 26th, 2003
Back when I gave birth, it was heard on the street I was giving her up. I had a woman sneak into my room and offer me $10,000.00. You know, after I mentioned this, I had police standing and guarding my room and the babies room. This made things for me ten times worse. Then, do you know how people treat you when you give up a child? I had people actually not want me to hold their children because I may become too emotional or attached. It was crazy. I never was given a choice of an open adoption, and when the judge asked me to swear on the Bible that I did not want this child, I walked off of the stand. He was going to hold me in contempt.
What is Attachment Disorder? November 26th, 2003
In the first two years of life, children go through healthy attachment cycles - the first year and second year attachment cycles. When the first cycle breaks down, the child cannot do the second year. To expect the child to function as a typical child when his normal development was completely stunted back in infant/toddlerhood is not rational. We must seek help from mental health professionals who understand attachment problems and can help us help our children to attach.
No Reflection - Amy Lane November 26th, 2003
I can post my info all over the internet, but if no one looks, what good does it do? I praise the ISRR, and pass their info to as many as I can. But, how can one be sure that a 61-year-old mother will be surfing? It took me years to learn of decent sites to turn to for help. I recently found out that birth dates could have been changed by the state or the adoptive parents. Where does that leave us adoptees? The deck is already stacked against us, and now this.
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