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It Is Never Too Late - Marge Walz October 27th, 2003
I have now located my father and have talked to him a few times. He is 82 years old, and his wife has passed away. He hadn't told his family about me until this past Sunday. I just had a call from my younger brother. He left a message on my work phone last night. I just called him, but he is at work until this evening. His wife said that they were all home on Sunday, Sept 28th when he told them they had a sister. She said they were quite surprised but are happy that he told them.
The Adoption Option - Jorene Lynne Suber October 27th, 2003
I met my adoption attorney through the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Simi Valley, Ca. She turned out to be "My Angel". She has a family of her own and was there for me night or day, and we still keep in touch. She loves her work and really cares about the birthmothers and their babies. It was very hard for me to give her up, as I always dreamed of having a baby girl to raise and love, but God stepped in, and this little miracle named Coleen Desiree Lacey, was a gift to the couple that suffered so much emotional heartbreak upon trying to conceive another child. They were in the delivery room at the time of her birth, and the husband cut her cord.
Encouragement and Caution - Linda S. Cusick October 27th, 2003
We raced downstairs and got on the computer and using several search engines looked for the name, an unusual Italian surname that made the search much easier. We found several people, but none the right age. It suddenly dawned on both my son and I that we should search for her little brother, also named in the paperwork I had gotten. As a male, his name was not likely to have changed, and his first name was as unique as their last name.
It Sounds Right, But Is It the Right Thing? - Courtney Frey October 27th, 2003
Using policy to excuse your behaviors or justify your fears is not acceptable. If you ever have to ask for an opinion, remember that what you will get in return is just that; opinion. You will always know, if you listen carefully, what the right thing for you to do is. Don’t deny it based on what reads right. Don’t manipulate it because you are afraid. The only true course in the lives of our adoptions is that of truth and courage. Believe it or not, it’s a lot easier to deal with the truth of an issue now than to deal with the aftermath of a lie in the end.
Individual Education Plan - Nancy Geoghegan October 27th, 2003
It has been two weeks since I went to the school and tried to break through the resistance to learning about children who suffer from attachment difficulties and the effects of institutional life. I still have not heard a peep and realize that I gave them a lot of information and perhaps they are reading through it. I hope that is not wishful thinking.
Attorneys Specialize in Aiding Adoption Process - Cindy Bevington October 20th, 2003
“I don’t consider mothers who change their minds a failure,” Kirsh says. “What I consider a failure would be when a baby is taken involuntarily from the mother — and I’ve had none of those. We don’t ‘take’ babies from their mothers. I don’t consider a birth mother changing her mind a failure. It’s just part of the process, like falling down a number of times before you learn to walk.”
We Need to Learn… - Ann; Contributed by: Nancy Geoghegan October 17th, 2003
Andy had many of the symptoms of attachment disorder but he wasn’t hyperactive, didn’t have learning lags, or speech and language problems, symptoms which are likely to show up in school. Not every child with attachment disorder exhibits easily recognizable issues at school. I am trying to collect anecdotal information about school behaviors teachers observe in students diagnosed with attachment disorder. I hope eventually to disseminate a list of school symptoms so teachers will be able to give parents information that may someday save them from our heartache.
Adoption: Right Choice - Brennan Purtzer October 17th, 2003
It finally struck me how my biggest problem with becoming a father was that it would only be an illusion. In my situation, I would be working full-time and dropping out of college to be a "father," and in return I would never have any time to enjoy my child. This was something I could not stand. I wanted to be an attentive father, like mine had been, more than anything in the world, and that would not be possible under these circumstances. Then I thought of others like me. I thought of all the good men, just like me, who pained for the chance to raise children -- the way I pained.
Affirming the Reality of the Hurt Adoptee - Gregory Keck October 17th, 2003
The trauma of hurt children who are placed in adoptive homes is often so dramatic that the adults involved in the situation cannot deal with it. I believe that is why parents and social workers sometimes focus too much on what few "positives" there are about hurtful birth parents and inadvertently minimize the truth for the child. Time after time, I see beautifully constructed life books with nice pictures of people from the child's early life. That is fine — especially if one is trying to create good feelings. However, the stark reality is that if everyone at home were always smiling around the birthday cake or playing happily in the park, the child would NOT have been removed from the family.
After the Adoption... - Nancy A. Ryle October 17th, 2003
I read adoption news regularly because, among obvious reasons, I look for success stories from those who have experienced victimization at the hands of adopted parents and how they find peace in their lives. Although my adoption took place over 30 years ago, it is clear that a thorough investigation was not completed before I was placed in the home. The house itself, should have been condemned and there could have been no indication that I would have a happy or healthy life there.
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