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Just the Mom - Susan M. Ward    November 08th, 2002
   As parents of children who were adopted at older ages, we often become very educated about complex issues that our kids face. The topics may be connected to their emotions and behaviors: grief, anxiety, adjustment, attachment, and trauma. Or they may be related to biological disorders: bipolar, learning differences, or autism. Sometimes our children have multiple issues.   Read more.

No Parent Should Have to Go Through This - Sandy Hellman    November 08th, 2002
   The FBI cannot get involved until a warrant is issued. Also, as it was explained to us, the Amber Alert System was not able to be utilized in this case due to the fact that law enforcement determined that this was a "parental abduction" and therefore, our daughter was supposedly not in imminent danger. Obviously, the issues raised in this case have us concerned about our other adopted children and should have all adoptive families concerned about their children.   Read more.

Finding Your Roots - Henry G.    November 08th, 2002
   I have an adopted son, and I would love for him to be able to meet his birth mom and dad and half sister, or any other relatives that he may have. Not that he or we expect anything from them, just the chance to perhaps get to know one another, to tell her what a great gift she gave us by allowing us to be a mom and dad to the son we share. It may ease her burden, assuming she still wonders how he is. We could let her know that although I will never know how hard her decision was, or how that affected her life, by meeting, we may all have a chance to learn and heal.   Read more.

My Petition - Ray Buffer    November 07th, 2002
   A petition has been developed to bring awareness to legislators and the public by insisting that adoptees in all 50 states over the age of 18 possess, if they so choose, their original birth certificates. Slavery was abolished with a constitutional amendment, and it was through an amendment that women were empowered to vote. Please sign this petition that demands an "Adoptees' Amendment", and help restore an invisible minority to equal status. "All men were created equal..." yet under the current political climate, adoptees are not.   Read more.

The Barber May Know - Jimmy C. Smith    November 07th, 2002
   We talked, then I understood everthing. How hard it was without any moral support. She told me of the times and how her parents had her go to an unwed mothers' home. She ran away so she could try to keep our son. She ended up losing him to adoption in Kansas, after a judge had told her that she could have him back when she got her life together, which was the basic story of the time. After that day (even now), it's (hard) to get him out of my head.   Read more.

In Rebuttal of “Celebrating Motherhood” - Josee Larose    November 01st, 2002
   Natural mothers of earlier decades represent a diversity of individuals, a few of whom were given real choice to raise or not to raise their babies, but the vast majority of whom were either not presented with real options or were offered untenable alternatives. More recently, true choice has become a more frequent component of adoptions. However, whether or not there was 'choice' in the adoption of their children, the pain and grief all natural mothers suffer as a result of this loss is often the dominant expression of their experience. This is not something to celebrate.   Read more.

For Them to Grow Up Happy - Leila A. Fergueson    November 01st, 2002
   I wanted to hand pick my child's new parents. I made a list: They had to come from Boston, MA. They had to have been together for more than 7 years. The mother would have to be willing to stop working until the children were old enough to go to school. They had to be Jewish. They had to be willing to adopt another child.   Read more.

'Family' Tears - Susan Van Sleet    November 01st, 2002
   Honoring that promise was not easy but I held the secret of my illegitimate firstborn for nearly thirty years. Then, in 1993, she searched for and contacted me. Within one month, we met ...face to face for the first time. Our three days together helped dismiss falsehoods and innuendos. I answered every question honestly. It was a clean and thorough connecting time. We parted in tears vowing to be together again and again. At first, we talked on the phone daily. The letters and photos flowed freely ...our puzzle appeared to be complete.   Read more.

Chocolate Talks - Christine Durrenberger    November 01st, 2002
   She began to talk of having a sibling to play with about 2 years ago. "Please let's have a baby, Mom!" My husband, Steve, and I began to toss around the idea of a second child. Truth be told, I had a burning desire to parent another child, and Steve desperately wanted a son. After a short round of 6 months or so of playing "biological bingo" (excuse the expression), we felt called to adopt. I was approaching 35 and have congential scoliosis. Being pregnant again would certainly include more risks this time.   Read more.

Turning the Tables - Dr. Vic Shayne    November 01st, 2002
   My wife's mother gave the hospital a fictitious name in 1958, which made the search seem impossible until I got a lead that offered just enough to turn the tables. Few people outside of the adoption ring can understand the tremendous emotional upheaval associated with this Medieval system that denies adults their most basic rights to happiness.   Read more.

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