Adoption Week e-Magazine Articles
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Boy, 10, Should Be Kept Active During Summer - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW June 30th, 2008
Q: I am a single parent and my 10-year-old is arguing with me about what he is going to do this summer. He just wants to hang around the house. I want him to go to day camp. I have to work and can't keep on eye on him. What should I do?
A: It sounds like your son is too big for his britches, and you are having difficulty setting limits and expectations for him.
Walking the Walk Will Influence Kids - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW June 23rd, 2008
Parents must understand that, when dealing with kids' behaviour, the parent must not only talk the talk, but walk the walk.
When it comes to parental influence, what a child watches will trump what the child hears. You can tell a child what to do until you are blue in the face. And, until your behaviour matches your words, you are just spinning your wheels.
Teens and Cellphones Pose New Set of Risks - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW June 16th, 2008
Q: My teen is begging me for a cellphone. She says all her friends have one and she feels left out. Should I get her one?
A: Now no teen feels complete without a cellphone. The technology and pricing have put these devices just about within range of anyone who wants them.
Teens will argue with their parents this is a vital safety device. The teen will trot out all the bad news of teens who fell to trouble, unable to call for help. They will prey on the fears of the parent in order to wrangle a cellphone.
Be Balanced in Your Style of Parenting - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW June 09th, 2008
Q: We use positive reinforcement raising our two-year-old. It has been working very well, praising good behaviour and ignoring her during tantrums after explaining her limits and our reasons. We don't believe in spanking. Other members of our family tell us that, sooner or later, all kids will need to be spanked, as other forms of discipline won't work as effectively. Is this really true?
Help Child Deal with Baby - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW May 26th, 2008
Q: Our toddler has been happy and interacted well with others until recently. We had a second child six months ago. We kept our toddler home with us for a month rather than go to his usual day care. Since then, he has been reluctant to stay with anyone except Mom and Dad. We think he realizes the baby is here to stay. How can we help him through this phase?
A: Bringing a new child into the home with an existing toddler can be a scary thought for many parents. They concern themselves with jealousy issues arising when all the attention that had been provided the toddler is now diverted to the needs of the new baby sibling.
Wary of Long-Distance Calls - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW May 16th, 2008
Q: My 16-year-old son has an ongoing relationship (since July) with a girl whom he met for only four days.
She lives in Texas. The relationship exists by phone, she is allowed to call nightly.
I am concerned that at such a young age they are both letting life pass by waiting for the next call. I'm not sure what to do.
No Strict Rules about Weaning - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW May 12th, 2008
Q: My three-and-a-half-year-old son is still breastfeeding, mostly just for the occasional nap he takes or for bedtime. I get a lot of flack for it from family members. I'm wondering how common are breastfeeding toddlers? And how in the world do I stop?
A: The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends breastfeeding for the first six months of life and notes that some mothers continue to two years of age and beyond.
Stepdaughter Wants to See Us Apart: Dad - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW May 07th, 2008
Q: My wife and I are living separately now and the major cause is my 12-year-old stepdaughter who has told us to our faces many times she will do whatever she can to see us apart. What do I, the stepdad, do to work toward bringing my family back together? It's slowly killing my wife and me. We do love each other, but this is out of control.
A: Situations such as the one you describe are an outcome of parents moving more quickly into a relationship than the child can handle.
On Blended Families - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW April 28th, 2008
Q: My new husband and I argue about how well I get along with my ex. He doesn't get along well with his ex-wife and barely sees his kids. My son sees his father regularly. I think this is good. What should I do? Coming together as a blended family can be fraught with many challenges.
Whining for Snacks Has Parent Fed Up - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW April 21st, 2008
Q: My four-year-old keeps whining for snacks before supper. Sometimes it can even be just a few minutes before I serve dinner. When I try to make him wait, he flops on the floor until I give in. What am I doing wrong?
A: Pity the parent whose child's whining turns the parent into Geppetto's puppet.
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