E-Magazine
Older Child Adoption Lingo
Susan M. Ward
I've always been intrigued by lingo, insider vocabulary. For example, in the restaurant world, they have words like "in the weeds" meaning a waitperson or the kitchen that is overwhelmed and not on top of things. Or "diver" meaning the dishwasher. Every field has it's own lingo, including the older child adoption world. Here are a few:
· older child = any child over the age of two at adoption (some say over the age of one)
· bonding/attachment = the reciprocal connection between parent and child where the child feels safe: this attachment requires knowledge and effort on behalf of parents
· forever parents = adoptive parents
· birth parents = the parents who conceived and bore the child, but for various reasons were unable to raise the child
· timeline = generally refers to the time it takes someone to complete their adoption process from application to getting their child home
· finalization = the process of officially completing the adoption: varies between domestic and international adoption
· gotcha day = the anniversary of a child's adoption: it can be the day you meet, the court date, or the day when the child first gets home
· PI = post institutionalized: any child who has spent time in an orphanage or orphanage-type setting
· foster care = domestic or international care of a child where he/she lives with a family, rather than in an orphanage until placement with a forever family
· FAS = fetal alcohol syndrome: when a child suffers various physical and neurological challenges due to their birth mother drinking alcohol while she was pregnant
· FAE = a less severe form of FAS
· RAD = reactive attachment disorder: the manifestation of early neglect, trauma, or separation that makes it difficult for a child to attach and bond, and includes behaviors such as rages, manipulation, control, lying, and more
· attachment issues = less severe than RAD: many older adopted children have some level of attachment issues that require assistance from the parents to overcome
· learning differences = due to neurological or emotional issues, some older adopted children need assistance in reaching their academic potential through special tutoring, classes, or other accommodations
· dx = diagnosis: some older adopted children may be diagnosed with various behavioral, neurological, or emotional issues
· meds = medications: some children may need medications to help them sleep, feel less anxious, control aggression, etc.
· special needs = children requiring additional care and services to address their physical, neurological, emotional, or behavioral issues: many agencies refer to all older adopted child as "special needs"
· artificial twinning = adopting two biologically unrelated children of nearly the same age, at the same time: most often happens in international adoption, some adoption agencies do not permit it due to the stress it places on the family
· adjustment period = the initial, often difficult months (sometimes 6 months or more) that it takes for everyone in the family to get to know each other, for the new child(ren) to learn the rules, and more.
· positive adoption language = words and phrases that identify adoption as a positive way to create families and establishes a supportive framework for a child who was adopted to discuss her/his background
[Susan Ward, founder of Heritage Communications, maintains Older Child Adoption Online Magazine. This regularly updated website includes articles, personal insights, links, books and more. There are special sections on single parenting, reactive attachment disorder, and "Adopted Just Like Me for Kids." Susan is also mama to Hannah, age 9, adopted at age 6 from Russia.]
