In regards to adoptive parents:

I am a birthmom who struggled with the issue of when I had decided to search for my bdaughter how would the adoptive parents feel. being a parent myself I was very sensitive to their feelings. Did they feel I was just coming back to take her away? No! I was so worried about them, I think more worried about them than myself, but I wrote them a separate letter explaining I had no plans for jumping in and taking over as her mother. She already has a mother and I can only imagine how scared her adoptive mom was for me to enter their lives. We have since been reunited-about 5 years ago and it has been wonderful. Her adoptive father cries every time he sees me, her adoptive mom is always a little withdrawn when I am around, and I totally understand that, I just try to stay quiet and try and respect her feelings. I reminded Lori who her "mother" was and that she needed more attention especially now that I am here. Lori is getting married this next month and has asked me to be honorary bridesmaid. I gladly told her yes but wanted to make sureher mom was okay with it. She is fine I have been reassured. So, I guess I am saying to the adoptive parents-please be open and frank to the birth mother, you might be surprised what she has to say.