Adoption Week e-Magazine Article

Angela Chance

My name is Angela. I am 38. I have always wanted to find my birth mother. I never knew where to go, who to call, where to start. Finally my very best friend Gail suggested I call the County agency, where I was adopted. I started a search in May of 2002. In February of 2003, the agency contacted me and informed me that it had been 8 weeks since a letter had been sent to my birth mom. They had not received any response, which typically means that the birth mother does NOT want contact.

I cannot tell you how devastated I felt. I would continually ask my husband "Why does my mother not love me? Why did my mother not want me"? My husband would tell me, "Honey, I don't know, maybe she didn't receive the letter; all mothers love their children."

Well, at the end of August 2004, the agency contacted me and left a message: "Hello Angela, I just wanted to let you know I have sent another letter to your mother. We should be hearing something any day now; I know you must be very excited"

I called back and was angry. I said, "You have already sent a letter, and she didn't respond. She doesn't want contact; IT'S OVER, FORGET ABOUT IT!"

I tried so hard constantly to forget about how abandonded I felt, and now a rush of emotions came to me. How dare they keep trying! She didn't want me.

Well, a week later, the agency called me: "We have received a call from your mother; she cannot WAIT to talk to you!"

I cannot tell you how emotional I felt. My mother DID LOVE ME! They gave me her name, address, phone numbers and e-mail address.They told me to wait a day before calling and suggested I call the next day at 10:00 am. I gave all my information to the agency to relay to her.

A few minutes after hanging up the phone, I received a short e-mail from my mother. She said she could not WAIT to talk to me. She was very happy that I had found her, and she loved me with all her heart and had thought about me all these years.

I'm not sure anyone can understand how "right" and complete my life is now. It's like I am seeing the stars in the sky at night for the first time in my life. My motherand I have talked on the phone every day since finding one another.

After our first phone conversation, within 2 weeks, we each drove over 600 miles to meet one another. I loved holding and being held by my mother. Her story is heartbreaking. I feel so much compasion for my mother and the strength it took for her. She was sent away to live with a family; she had to cook, clean, and baby-sit the couple's two small children - two small girls.

She said the family was VERY nice! When it got closer to the time to give birth, she went to a home for wayward girls. She gave birth to me, all alone, none of her family was there for support. Her boyfriend snuck into the hospital to see her and comfort her and wanted to see me as well. They both begged to keep me, but both parents said "no".

She got sent back to the home and got to keep me for 10 days. She gave me a name while she had me - Tracy Marie. She said they came and took me out of her arms, all the while she was crying and holding me so tight. She said she didn't want to let me go. Now that she has me, she will never let me go.

I thank my mother for my life. I can only imagine how difficult for a small child of 15 to be all alone and go through pregnancy and birth all alone. What a strong woman. I think of my mother's feelings and how she must have felt. I love my mother. I am blessed by God to have been united with my birth mother.