Lawrence P. Adams

Dear Fellow Children of Foster Care,

You may feel like your life is in turmoil. You may not be in a place you really consider your home, or you may be awaiting a final decision on a new place to call home.

At times, you may feel like you are all alone in the world, and that no one else ever has or is now going through what you’re facing. Your foster parents and caseworker have probably never been in foster care, so how could they possibly understand? Most of the time, your feelings are true!

However, I can understand many of the things you are feeling...because I have been exactly where you are today. As many young say today, "Been there...done that...bought the T-shirt!"

I was a foster child from the day of my birth until I aged out of the system at age eighteen. There is very little you could share with me that I myself have not experienced.

I have felt alone. I have felt depressed. I have felt that no one understood. I have felt no one really cared about me, and yes...I have even wondered if it was worth living.

You are not as unique as you think you might be. In matter of fact there are many thousands who, besides me, have been exactly where you are at.

I am here to tell you that you can overcome ALL of this. If I can...I know you can!

I do not know why you are in foster care. It might be the same as me...from birth. It might be because of troubles within your home that require you to be out of your home for a short or long term basis; it may even be because of something that you did wrong for others to feel you needed a temporary outside the home situation or finally it might be that you are awaiting a new family to become your Mom and Dad.

It does not matter why you are in foster care. What is important is how you come out of foster care!

I know many aspects of the foster care system makes you feel that you might be of no value; that you cannot be a success and many other negative attributes.

This is absolutely not true!

I felt many times while in foster care and being moved from one home to another, the same feelings many of you are having. But I have been able to overcome them and so can you!

YOU are of value! You can hold your head up proudly! You can be whatever you choose to be!

Yes, even those of you who may have done something wrong to get placed within the foster system...you can overcome this mistake; it can become something of the past. All of us have made a mistake in our lives...maybe even more than one, but we learned from our mistakes and moved forward. You can do this as well. You need to begin making those changes today.

Your foster parents do care about you and what happens to you, whether you are in your current home for a short term or a longer time. They would not be foster parents if they did not care about children and want to help. No, they are not in foster care for the money they receive to assist in your care. In many situations your foster parents will spend far more than what they receive.

I will not say a foster parent will not do wrong. Yes, as in every situation in life there may be a bad one. This is true also with biological/adoptive parents as well. If one does neglect you or do you harm in any way then you must report it. Please make sure any allegation you make however is in fact true. Do not make allegations just because of how they may have felt it necessary to discipline you one day and you get angry at them and try to get back at them. Never, ever make a false allegation.

Honor, respect and obey your foster parents. They do in fact have your best interest at heart. Whether you are with them for a short time or longer time they will do the best they can for you.

I know most of you wish that you were not in foster care; that you could be home either with your Mom and Dad or an adoptive family. That may or may not come someday. You must make the very best of your situation. I ended up staying in the system until I was eighteen. I never had a permanent Mom and Dad all the time I was growing up. Despite this, I hope I have become a person any Mom and Dad could have been proud of. That is my hope for each and every one of you as well.

I know you can do it! Study hard, work hard and know that you have self-worth, not only to yourself but to others. You can reach for the highest of goals...don't let anyone convince you otherwise!

If I can...I know you can!

Sincerely...from One who cares,

A Former Foster Child


POSTSCRIPT:

Lawrence P. Adams, a former foster child, authored the poignant book of life through the eyes of a throw away child entitled: "Lost Son? A Bastard Child's Journey of Hope, Search, Discovery and Healing," released in 2004.

With a growing corps of loyal readers, he shares yet another inspirational and moving book, "A Voice from the Voiceless and Forgotten." It could bring about the beginning of change within the foster-care-system. The book will be released during the summer of 2005.

He has written numerous magazine articles and speaks to groups around the country about the need for child welfare reform. He also serves as an "Advocacy Ambassador" for International Advocates for Children. He may be reached @ larry@larrya.us or visit his web site @ http://www.larrya.us