Adoption Week e-Magazine Article

Krystal Wright

When I was 17, I found out that I was pregnant. I had been dating a guy for 2 years, and we were very immature. We went through all of the things that teenagers in our position go through. We thought about getting married. We thought about having dual custody, and then we realized it was not about US!

Our decision was going to affect a whole new life! We loved each other but we were young and not ready for such a huge responsibility. I had a single mom and a brother, and my mom struggled just to take care of us. The guy had a mom and dad, but he also had a lot of personal problems. We decided it would be best to give the baby up for adoption. My pastor knew of a family in Chicago who had never been able to have children. They were in their late 40's and had already given up on any chance of ever having a child. They had tried everything to have a baby and everything to adopt one but nothing ever came through for them. This couple has been friends of my family for years and this seemed to be the perfect situation. And it was!

The guy and I broke up for other reasons, which made it easier for me to go through with the adoption. I was 18 when the baby was born, and I had a very bad delivery. It was awful! It was the most physically and mentally painful thing I have ever experienced! But adoption was the best thing for my baby, and I knew that deep down inside. After the baby was born, the couple came, and after a few days, adoption papers were signed, and it was all over for me.

It took the couple a lot longer to finalize things than it did me. I remember going home and sleeping. I felt like I had lost everything! It was the lowest I had ever felt, but I knew my baby was okay and he was happy. That was more important to me. Everyone said that I had a heart of gold; a true mothers heart. It did not make it easier. If it had not been for the support of my mom, family, friends, and most of all God, I would have drowned in sorrow. Even though I made mistakes, God knew my heart. I know that my faith in him and knowing his peace and all of the prayer was the only thing that got me through it.

The couple sent me pictures often and telephoned me to let me know how the baby was. It was easier knowing all about his life. At least I knew where he was and that he was happy. The couple eventually moved back to the state I lived in, and I was able to see my baby. Only now he was not mine, he was theirs, and that was okay. It is an open adoption, and I see the baby, who is now almost 8 years old. I am also able to have a wonderful relationship with him and his parents. They are such a big part of my family now! I no longer see him as the child I gave up, but rather as a typical 8-year-old boy full of life and very happy! Sometimes I still wonder if things could have been different, but after talking to him on the phone or spending time with him, I realize this was what God had planned all along! I wouldn't change a moment of this journey!

I am happily married now and have been for 6 years. I have 2 beautiful children! God has blessed me tremendously! I cannot say that adoption is right for everyone, but I can say that it can be a great journey! As hard as it is for a birth mother to give up her child to someone else to take care of, it must be a great deal harder to abort a child and live with that choice your entire life. I know, because my mother had an abortion, and I watch her still struggle with it. Adoption is the best gift you can give to a child you cannot take care of; it is also a great gift to a family that cannot have a baby. It is a win-win situation. My prayer is that whoever reads this that it will touch their life in some special way.