Adoption Week e-Magazine Article

Heather Wareing

Since I was a little girl, I have known my family would grow through adoption. My parents planted the seed when I was very young. They were planning on adopting from Vietnam or Korea. I remember talking about it and taking pictures of our family for the agency. Although my parent’s plans did not work out, we received the agency’s newsletter for years. Growing up, I would flip through the pages looking for possible brothers and sisters.

Years passed, I became a teacher, I became active in the Children’s Ministry at church, and I traveled the world. Maybe because I sought them out, but I often found myself meeting families who adopted internationally. I had the pleasure of meeting an adoptive mom at a boyfriend’s parent’s home. She has three biological boys and a daughter from Korea. We discussed agencies, and her experience with her adoption agency. I mentally filed the information for a later time. Shortly after, I was at the bookstore looking through adoption books. Suddenly, it all seemed very possible. I went to the adoption agency's orientation and I knew that adopting now would be right for me.

The agency was not so patient and soon we were talking about there being a place in the quota for the China Program.

After submitting my dossier for China in October 2003, I had a short wait until June 7, 2004 when I spoke with Pauline and received the information on Wan Fu Xiao. The weeks between referral and travel were a flurry of preparation. My good friend Cherie came down from Binghamton to accompany me on this journey to adopt Emma. Leaving New York, we felt as if we were just going on another vacation. But I was bringing home the child of my dreams, a child that I had grown in my heart since my own childhood.

Wan, Fu Xiao was placed in my arms at the Chongqing Municipal building on Monday, August 9, 2004. We walked into an ordinary building and rode the elevator up to the appropriate floor. Upon entering the room, we saw approximately 17 babies. All the children were wearing split pant shorts, tee shirts and had their heads shaved. Some babies were sleeping in walkers or on the floor while others were playing.

I had imagined this moment of my first meeting since I was little. Of course I had changed it and developed it over the years. I envisioned the parents would all be called individually and the babies would be lovingly placed in our arms. A feeling of love would envelop me and we would be mother and daughter. Instead, the director, along with our guide Guilan, started calling out names and handing us the children. Before I knew it, Emma Elisabeth Fu Xiao was placed in my arms. There was no quiet ceremony, no formal recognition of the event. It seemed common, even a little surreal. I felt confused and a little disoriented by the occasion not being given more significance. But, coming down the elevator I was a mother and this felt right. A wave of love came over me.

Emma is now 2 years old. She has an exuberant personality and does everything with lots of energy. Some days are exhausting; I have never been so tired. Schedules to keep, ear infections, sleepless nights and…JOY!!! Emma is so much fun and everyday is a new adventure. Motherhood is better that I ever could have imagined.

When I was a child I dreamt of a brother or sister being brought into my life through adoption. That dream evolved into becoming an adoptive mother. I appreciate all my adoption agency did in order to make this dream a reality. For questions regarding the agency I used or assistance, please feel free to contact me at newbeginn@aol.com .