Adoption Week e-Magazine Article
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Blankies are Innocuous Stress Relievers
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Q: Is it abnormal that my son, 5 years old, needs his security blanket so much? Should I give him back his blanket that he thought he lost? He asks me every few weeks to help him find it. Should we be trying to take these blankets away and, if so, how do you suggest we do so?
A: Use of a security blanket tends to be more an issue for parents than the child. Parents worry about their child's attachment to and dependency on the security object.
While use of a security blanket hasn't been studied extensively, what studies are available suggest that those children who do use blankets, teddy bears and the like are no less attached to their mothers than children who do not use such objects.
Sometimes referred to as transitional objects, a blanket, special pillow, toy or teddy bear can actually ease children's upset when they face new situations such as moving between homes of separated parents or having an overnight with grandparents or friends.
Most children tend to naturally decrease their use of the security object when they enter junior or senior kindergarten.
Many children still may use the object privately, such as at bedtime. Some adults still own their first teddy bear while others have attachments to particular pillows or other objects that bring fond memories and hence act to reduce stress or upset, just like when they were children.
Placing a kiss into the hand of a child and telling him that he can use it whenever he misses you, for example, can ease time away from a parent.
Similarly, we use pictures to remind us of others in their absence.
You won't necessarily harm your child by removing the transitional object.
But if it is soothing to the child, no harm will come by returning it.
Most of us use something to comfort ourselves. In the scheme of things, a blanket is innocuous.
