1. Announcements

The Adoption Search Engine
Adoption.com would like to invite you to visit and try out the Adoption Search Engine, your portal for on-line adoption content. With over 400,000 pages of content, AdoptionSearch.com provides the best way to find the adoption-related content you need. Check it out at http://AdoptionSearch.com.

We're Blogging
The Adoption Blog (by our editor, Nancy Ashe) is the newest addition to our front page (bottom right hand side of the page). What's a blog? It's a "Web log" and ours is developing into a running commentary about issues in the news, upcoming events on the site, and anything else that's on our editor's mind. Recently, she's been thinking (and writing) about robot babies and $10,000 state adoption tax credits, and there's more to come. Take a look: http://Blogs.Adoption.com.

Do You Know of Adoption Process Software?
Do you know of software written specifically to help adoption attorneys and agencies manage the adoption process? We’re writing a report on adoption process software and would love to know which software you have used. Please send the names of adoption software companies to editor@adoptionweek.com, and any feedback you have about software you have used. If you are an adoption professional and would like a copy of the report, please e-mail us as well. Thank you.

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2. Highlighted Articles

The views expressed by the authors are solely their own, and for which the authors are responsible. These views do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine.

A Time for Citizen Outrage! - new article by Lawrence P. Adams
Fortunately, caseworkers finally made one wise choice for me by sending me to live at Boys Town in Nebraska the year I turned eleven. This would be my home for the next seven years. It was there that I got my education and the other tools that would be necessary to make it in the world. Then I aged out of the system at eighteen. I was now considered an adult, out of the system and on my own...ready or not. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=4824

An Assorted Fairytale...IV - new article by Linda Muzzin
This was to this day the place I started to learn to read situations and cover up my true feelings, and gave up the ability to ask the real questions. I think my father did the best he could with what he had, not being prepared to be faced with this; yet having to help me understand this didn't change things: I was and still am his. Never the less, my father had not volunteered much information, and so I learned to start thinking and feeling for him, and grew more afraid of hurting him with my curiosity. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=485

Womb Mates: When Sibling Rights & Child-Parent Attachment Clash - article by Regina M. Kupecky L.S.W.
Workers are horrified to learn that I think their young charges should be adopted by the parents with whom they have a secure attachment, instead of moving to another family with their sibling. Poor planning that brought siblings into separate foster homes in the first place cannot be fixed by uprooting the children from their only known parents. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=486

Your Child and Medication - article contributed by NIMH
If you are planning to have a doctor see your child, you should share a record of any of your child's medical problems, any medications your child is taking, including over-the-counter medications or vitamin and herbal supplements, and any allergic reactions your child has suffered. If a medication is prescribed for your child, there are certain questions you should ask. It will be helpful to take notes as it is easy to forget exactly what the doctor says. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=487

Read these articles at http://e-Magazine.Adoption.com, and submit your adoption-related articles to editor@adoptionweek.com for publication in Adoption Week e-Magazine and Adoption.com.

By submitting content, you represent that you have the rights to this content and that you give Adoption.com and Adoption Week the right to reprint this content on the Internet, via e-mail, and in print form.

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3. Adoption News

In the news this week, it was reported that a new law will force more children into foster care. Read about it here. Other news headlines included the the state accused of child neglect, Tennessee custody case divides Chinese community, couple recounts adoption scheme. To read these news articles, as well as others, visit News.Adoption.com.

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4. Children's Bureau Express

June 2004 Edition Alert

Top Stories

National Campaign Urges Americans to Adopt
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=819&ref=htmlEml

More Flexible Child Welfare Funding May Improve Child Outcomes
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=821&ref=htmlEml

Prevention Leaders Strategize to "Reframe" Child Abuse Messages
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=820&ref=htmlEml

Child Well-Being Shows Slight Improvement
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=822&ref=htmlEml

Research

Mental Health Issues Documented in Child and Family Services Reviews
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=823&ref=htmlEml

Reliability of U.S. Military's Family Violence Assessment Tool
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=824&ref=htmlEml

Promising Practices

Addressing the Staffing Crisis in Child and Family Services
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=825&ref=htmlEml

Faith-Based Mentoring for Children of Prisoners
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=826&ref=htmlEml

Project MECCA (Men Embracing Children Collectively through Adoption)
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=827&ref=htmlEml

News You Can Use

Publications
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=828&ref=htmlEml

Funding
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=829&ref=htmlEml

Training
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?issue_id=2004-06&article_id=830

Conferences
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=831&ref=htmlEml

Spotlight on the National Resource Centers

News and Notices From the Children's Bureau Training and Technical Assistance Network
http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/articles.cfm?article_id=832&ref=htmlEml

Credit: Children's Bureau Express
Link: http://cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov/index.cfm

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5. Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute

May 2004 Edition

Laws, Policy & Practice

New Hampshire Law Allows Access to Birth Certificates Upon Request
A New Hampshire bill (SB335) allowing adopted people 18 years and older access to their original birth certificates became law without the Governor’s signature. The new law permits adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates on request and replaces references to "natural" parents with "birth" parents. The open records law will take effect January 1, 2005. It replaces a law that permits the release of identifying information to adoptees 21 or older only if a court has found "good cause" or if birth parents have filed a release with the child-placement agency and have "been contacted, if possible, by the agency, and reaffirmed [their] desire to be contacted." For more information, go to: http://www.gencourt.state.nh.us/ie/billstatus/quickbill.html and search for SB335 in the bill number field.

Federal Government Wants Faith-Based Groups to Help Foster Children
The Department of Health and Human Services announced this month that it is hosting The National Adoption and Foster Care Recruitment Summit – Partnering with Communities of Faith, July 15-16, 2004, in Washington, D.C. The event is an effort to bring together HHS staff, faith-based organizations, and adoption/foster care agencies to enlist the faith community to find permanent homes for foster children waiting to be adopted. Secretary Thompson said, “This is an opportunity to learn more about these special children, to hear how community and faith-based organizations are already making a difference, and to strategize with State adoption and foster care agencies about how congregations and faith-based organizations can get involved in improving the prospects for these children." To read the press release, go to: http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/040511/nytu096_1.html.

HHS Offers Funding for Initiatives Focusing on Marriage, Older Children
The Department of Health and Human Services issued a funding opportunity in mid-May for Field Initiated Service Demonstration Projects in Adoption. The Administration for Children and Families (ACF) stipulated that proposals “must address one of the ACF key priorities: Healthy Marriage, Fatherhood, Rural Initiatives, Faith-based and Community Initiatives, Positive Youth Development and Prevention.” HHS further stated that “topics of interest” are “special recruitment, retention, and support for the adoption of children age nine and older, sibling groups and children with disabilities,” as well as the “assessment of adoption services and services that expedite adoptions.” Fiscal Year 2004 funding will be $2 million for up to five projects; proposals are due June 28, 2004. To read the announcement, go to: http://a257.g.akamaitech.net/7
/257/2422/14mar20010800/edocket.access.gpo.gov/2004/pdf/04-10966.pdf.

$10 Million Available for Infant Adoption Awareness Training Projects
This month, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) also announced Fiscal Year 2004 Infant Adoption Awareness Training Program (IAATP) funding opportunities. Up to 10 projects will be funded at a total of $10 million; applications are due June 28, 2004. In 2001, HHS awarded $6.1 million to the National Council for Adoption “to implement a national training program.” The other 2001 grants were awarded to Spaulding for Children ($1.4 million), Harmony Adoptions of Tennessee ($626,000), and Arizona’s Children’s Association ($515,000). To read the 2004 funding announcement, go to: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/grants/pdf/HHS-2004-ACF-ACYF-CG-0015.pdf.

U.S. House Leader Hopes to Streamline Interstate Adoption Placements
House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX) outlined legislation to reform the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC). In a recent speech to the American Public Human Services Association (APHSA), DeLay noted that “some 4 percent of foster children in the United States — about 20,000 kids — need to go to another state to find adoptive families.” According to DeLay, children placed interstate on average spend a year longer “to find permanent homes” and two years longer in foster care than children placed within states. DeLay identified “administrative, procedural and financial” obstacles to interstate placement and said he was “drafting legislation to expedite the structural reforms of the child welfare system.” DeLay said the bill will ensure safety and “informed placement decisions,” and require timelines and provide federal incentives for permanent placements. According to the Voice for Adoption (VFA) April 2004 newsletter, the American Public Human Services Association (APHSA) recently endorsed comprehensive reform of the ICPC process and will present reforms to its membership in December 2004. Among other reforms, APHSA recommended a new financing structure to “support improved performance and timeliness” for the interstate placements. VFA hosted a congressional briefing in mid-May on the issue of barriers to interstate adoption. To read DeLay’s speech, go to: http://tomdelay.house.gov/News/Speeches/speech%2030.htm.

Tennessee Court Rules Against Girl's Biological Parents, Allowing Adoption
The Tennessee Chancery Court in Memphis issued a decision this month terminating the parental rights of a Chinese couple who have been living in the United States since the 1990s, who sought to regain custody of their daughter from her guardians. Due to financial and other problems, the biological parents had placed the child in foster care shortly after her birth, and subsequently agreed to a consent order that had “the force and effect of appointing [the foster parents] as legal custodians and guardians.” When the parents attempted to regain custody of the girl, who is now 5 years old, the guardians filed to terminate their parental rights and adopt the child. The court found, by clear and convincing evidence, that the biological parents were unfit and that it was in the child’s best interest to remain with the legal guardians; despite heavily disputed evidence from 28 witnesses in an evidentiary hearing, the court found for the guardians on every factual dispute. The court specifically found that appointing the foster parents as legal custodians and guardians was valid because a lawyer had explained the appointment to them. To read the decision, go to: http://www.wreg.com/global/story.asp?s=1863039&ClientType=Printable.

Research & Practice

Pew Commission Offers Guidelines to Overhaul U.S. Child Welfare System
The Pew Commission On Children In Foster Care released recommendations on May 18 to improve the nation’s child welfare system. The Commission found that “federal funding mechanisms for child welfare encourage an over-reliance on foster care at the expense of other services to keep families safely together and to move children” to permanence and “longstanding structural issues in the judicial system limit the ability of the courts to play the important role in protecting children that ASFA assigns to them.” The report, “Fostering the Future: Safety, Permanence and Well-Being for Children in Foster Care,” highlighted 10 key recommendations. Included among the six recommendations to improve the child welfare financing system were federal adoption assistance to all children adopted from foster care and an indexed source of funding that combines all child welfare funding streams “into a flexible source of funding.” Among the four recommendations to improve the court system were steps to ensure that courts “track children’s progress, identify groups of children in need of attention, and identify sources of delay in court proceedings,” as well as collaboration between courts and state agencies. To read the report, go to: http://pewfostercare.org/docs/index.php?DocID=47.

News

Romania Considers Permanent Ban on Adoptions by Non-Nationals
The Romanian Parliament, under pressure to reform its adoption system in order to join the European Union, was preparing to enact a permanent prohibition on most intercountry adoptions for the estimated 84,000-plus orphans in that country. Romania first imposed a moratorium on such adoptions in 2001, though some 1,000 children – mostly with handicaps or who were older than 3 – have been allowed to leave for adoptions since then. A vote on the issue had been planned by the end of the month, according to a USA Today article on May 17, “Orphans Caught in the Middle.” To read the article, go to: http://www.usatoday.com/life/2004-05-17-romanian-adoptions_x.htm.

Russian Parliament Proposes Inquiry into Intercountry Adoptions
The Russian parliament, the Duma, this month proposed a parliamentary inquiry into the international adoption of Russian children, according to a May 27, 2004, Interfax story headlined, “Duma to raise question of child adoption by foreigners.” Families from other nations adopt about 7,000 children from Russia annually, more last year than there were domestic adoptions in that country. The chairwoman of the Women, Family and Youth Committee of the Duma reported that “agencies that do not have proper authorization to do so still act as brokers in this practice,” and recommended that Russia negotiate bilateral treaties with other countries. A May 28, 2004, story in the Moscow Times, headlined “Tighter Adoption Rules,” reported that “the appeal appeared to be a reaction to a recent NTV report about a few Russian children who were killed by their adoptive parents.” To read the articles, go to: http://www.interfax.ru/e/B/0/28.html?id_issue=9705160 and http://www.themoscowtimes.com/stories/2004/05/28/031.html.

Despite Need for Post-Adoption Services, Resource Center to Close
The Post Adoption Resource Center in Albany, New York, which has 192 adoptive family clients, is slated to close next month because of the state’s budget delays, reports Stephanie Earls in “Mining Resources to Make Promises Real.” At the same time, a deputy commissioner with New York State acknowledged that a lack of post-adoption support is the “single largest barrier” to adoption finalization, according to a May 25, 2004, article in the Albany Times-Union. The Center, which provides post-adoption support services, is one of 13 in the state, but only one of three outside the New York City area. Cornell University research found that a lack of such services is a reason many foster parents do not adopt the child they are already caring for. To read the article, go to: http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=251213&category=LIFE&BCCode=HOME&newsdate=5/25/2004.

Credit: The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute (Month) Newsletter - Adam Pertman, Executive Director
Link: http://www.AdoptionInstitute.org

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6. ADOPTION BOOK CLUB

Father Your Son
For men who want to father their sons in the most nurturing and caring way. In Father Your Son, clinical psychologist Stephan B. Poulter draws from more than 20 years specializing in father-son relationship counseling to offer a program that helps fathers confront—and conquer—their fears of repeating the past.

For more information on this book, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/ADP43004.html.

Find 1,000+ other adoption products at AdoptionShop.com.

To share your favorite adoption book with others, join the Adoption Book Club on AdoptionLists.com at http://adoptionlists.com/index.php?action=lists&listname=adoptionbookclub.

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7. Meet New Hopeful Adoptive Parents

Eric & Martha (TX)
Your current circumstances may not allow you to give to your child all that you would like. We would like to be the ones to honor your decision for adoption. At this point in our life, we are in an excellent position to fully support and care for a child. We have a beautiful home where our friends often gather. We are missing, however, the chance to share our love with someone who comes into our life to stay and grow into an adult with the best that we each have to give. To view Eric and Martha's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db12484.html.

Howard & Charmaine (NY)
We are an affectionate and easygoing couple although hard working and serious about the things that are important to us. We have been together for ten years and have been married for six. My husband and I share many similar interests particularly a love of theatre and music. I can honestly say he is my best friend, and we are grateful to have found each other. We enjoy spending time with and entertaining our friends and family, but we are equally happy being alone at home watching TV or reading. To view Howard and Charmaine's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db12039.html.

Clay & Rebecca (VA)
Our desire to enlarge our family has been strengthened by having Andrew. Each day is a new adventure watching him grow and experience the world. He delights and constantly amazes us with his many discoveries. We look forward to giving another child a warm home overflowing with as much love and happiness. We look forward to being blessed with another child and will treasure this new life. We know that a child does not need to grow inside of us, just in our hearts. To view Clay and Rebecca's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db6212.html.

Justin & Carla (TX)
We believe we can provide your child with a happy, healthy, and loving home. We dated for five years and have been married for almost ten years. We have an eight-year-old son, Kaleb. He is a bright and happy young man who loves life and lives it to its fullest. He is very excited about being and will be a wonderful big brother to his future little brother or sister. To view Justin and Carla's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db12074.html.

Steve & Christina (NY)
We are an easy going couple who enjoy each others company. Visiting art galleries, relaxing in our yard, cooking and going to amusement parks are just some of the things we like to do. We have been married for 10 years and are still very much in love. Five years ago we were blessed with our daughter, Madeline. She is a happy, loving child who, like us, is very excited about a new baby in our family to love and cherish. Family is a central and important part of our lives. To view Steve and Christina's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db12397.html.

Are you pregnant? Visit ParentProfiles.com (a service of Adoption Profiles, LLC) to find the right adoptive parents for your baby.

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8. Featured Waiting Child

Teryon is a handsome African American young man. He is healthy and appears to be developing age appropriately at this time. Teryon is in counseling to help him deal with a difficult past. He is making good progress in both school and counseling. Teryon needs a nurturing family who can provide him with lots of love and appropriate structure.

For more information on Teryon, visit http://photolisting.adoption.com/6372.html.

Photolisting.Adoption.com is a free community service of Adoption.com featuring more than 1,700 children awaiting loving, permanent homes. Add your agency's waiting children to the most popular adoption website, and help them find loving homes faster. E-mail exchange@adoptablekids.com for info.

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9. Adoption Gem

10. Adoption Buzz

Becoming Foster Parents: - Questions on Fostering Our Child's Friend...
http://forums.adoption.com/t150638.html

Philippines Adoption: - Mixed Heritage
http://forums.adoption.com/t146860.html

Adoptees Searching And Sharing Tips on Patience During The Wait to Reunite: - Why Do We Search?
http://forums.adoption.com/t151529.html

Search for Birth Family or Adoptee: - Two Names on Birth Certificate
http://forums.adoption.com/t151617.html

Post-Reunion Feelings: - Unsupportive Adoptive Mother
http://forums.adoption.com/showthread.php?s=04cf6e11ab1e1bdd42d4e79736d63cd6&postid=478218#post478218

If any of the links above do not work, visit Adoption.com for direct links to these discussions.

For more online adoption discussions, visit Forums.Adoption.com.

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11. Adoption Site Spotlight

This week, our adoption spotlight is shining on: Adoptees.Adoption.com

Adult adoptees will find resources and support at Adoptees.Adoption.com. Person-to-person support forums are available, as well as chat rooms, articles by adoptees, help from experts, a list of books by adoptees, and sites by adoptees. Visit Adoptees.Adoption.com.

For a list of our favorite adoption websites, visit Adoptions.Adoption.com.

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12. Adoption Destination

InternationalAdoption.org is the Internet's authoritative destination for international adoption. You will find fact sheets, adoption information, travel information, culture and heritage, maps, weather, books, currency exchange rates, periodicals, news and much more for dozens of different countries with active international adoption programs.

This week, the country of focus is Kazakhstan.

The parents must be with the child for a minimum of two weeks in Kazakhstan prior to the adoption. There is no residency requirement after the adoption, however, Kazakhstani law provides for a 10-day waiting period before the adoption is final. The post-adoption birth certificate and Kazakhstani passport cannot be obtained until the adoption is final.

To learn more about Kazakhstan's government, geography, and communication information, or its history, visit http://Kazakhstan.Adoption.com.

Read a Kazakhstan adoption-related article at http://library.adoption.com/
Kazakhstan/International-Adoption-Kazakhstan/article/1382/1.html.

To chat with parents who have adopted or are considering adopting from Kazakhstan, visit http://forums.adoption.com/f21.html.

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13. Just For The Fun Of It

Buying Grades

One day, a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

E-mail your humorous story or joke to editor@adoptionweek.com.

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14. Featured Adoption Professional

Kirsh & Kirsh
Indianapolis, IN
Toll free: (800) 333-5736
Phone: (317) 575-5555
skirsh@kirsh.com

Steven and Joel Kirsh practice adoption law exclusively throughout Indiana including adoptions with other states. They are happy to provide information to prospective adoptive parents and women considering adoption for their babies.

Services: • Adoption Attorneys • State Adoption Specialists • Stepparent Adoption

For more information on Kirsh & Kirsh, visit http://www.Kirsh.com.

Find adoption agencies, attorneys and other adoption professionals at Directory.Adoption.com.

To see your ad here, visit http://directory.adoption.com/upgrade.php.

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15. AdoptionShop.com Pick

I Have Roots and Branches DVD - Only $29.95
This beautiful film conveys a positive, encouraging and honest message about adoption and is most appropriate for children viewers. This up-close and personal look at adoptees is the perfect addition to the wonderful adoption storybooks found in many adoptive homes today. As adopted children contemplate their personal journey, seeing and hearing other adoptees validates their feelings about adoption. Families formed through adoption, prospective adoptive and birth parents and professionals in the adoption community should not miss this wonderful film. The video is appropriate for schools and libraries as a resource for adoption education. Length of film: approximately 47 minutes

For more information on this book, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/ADP06041.html.

For more adoption products, visit AdoptionShop.com.

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16. Counsel From An Adoptee And A Birth Mother

This section is not intended for search advice. It is meant to be an advice column for people with questions concerning their feelings, interested in the opinion of someone who can relate. The views expressed by this author is solely his own, and for which the author is responsible. The content within this column is not to be considered as professional medical, legal or behavioral health information to be used in diagnosis, treatment or actions that would require the consultation and/or services of a licensed, certified or accredited professional. These views do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine.

Question:

My name is Janet, and I am a birth mother to a daughter born in 1968. At the time, I was pressured into giving her up by my mother and by shame. I also believed and was encouraged to believe, that because I was physically abused as a child, I would abuse MY child. I never had another baby, and I had a hysterectomy that brought up the loss of my only baby all over again. I want desperately to find my only child and wish for the chance to tell her I never wanted to give her up, and I have never stopped loving her. I only wanted to give her the best chance, and I thought that was without me. Now I am married - something I never thought I would have - and am happy. I want to search, but I am completely paralyzed by the fear that she may not want to know about me or her circumstances of birth. I feel I cannot bear to lose her again. How do I get through this wall? Do other birth mothers get stuck in this limbo?

Jan's Response: Janet, Many birth mothers are pressured and led to believe, especially if they are young and unmarried, that they cannot possibly be good parents to their babies. Sometimes it is true, many times it is not. I can certainly see that in your particular situation, it would have been even harder for you if those around you made you feel you might abuse your child. It had to have significantly increased your self-doubt as to whether you could be a good parent. For many women who realize years later they could/would have been good mothers, it is a stunning revelation and extremely painful. Since many mothers may not understand or accept why they relinquished, it is hard for them to imagine how their relinquished children could. In my experience, most birth mothers greatly fear rejection and loathing from their children. Know, too, that adoptees also fear rejection as well. However, most adoptees I have come in contact with have more positive feelings for their birth mothers than negative ones. The chances your daughter will want to know about you and the circumstances of her birth are very high. To get through the wall, try to find a support group which has both adoptees and birth parents and/or a good therapist who is skilled in adoption issues. Both could benefit you a great deal. If that is not possible, find an on-line support group. Develop a really strong support system to help you through search and reunion. Having a good stable marriage as you do could make it all so much easier as well. The fear of losing our children again is an ever-present worry in reunion - walking on eggshells for a long time, if not forever, is common. None of us want to lose our child a second time - it does happen - but at least you will some resolution and answers. Good relationships develop too though - you cannot know which you will find; therefore, you must be prepared for either. Being in touch with and meeting your daughter cannot guarantee a relationship, but it offers the possibility. It is a risk well worth taking, in my opinion, but one you must gauge for yourself if you are willing and able to take. Good luck, Jan

Question:

I am into genealogy and trying to find the family. My sister had a baby girl about August 18, 1968. She was staying in Sun Valley, CA when the baby as born. I would like to find the girl and meet her, but not unless she agrees. I would never give any information out unless both parties wanted to meet. I can't ask my sister; she doesn't know anybody knows. Any suggestions on how to start and where to look?

L

Jan's Response: Dear L, Though you say that you cannot ask your sister, I think you must discuss this with her for several reasons. First, finding your niece could have a huge impact on your sister. She needs to be aware if you intend to search for her child. She may welcome your help and be anxious to search and reunite or, she may not. Second, it could be very healing for your sister to finally talk about her relinquished child to you. If she has kept the secret all these years, it may be a huge relief to finally open up about it. Lastly, your sister is the best source of information about the details of the adoption. I would think it might be terribly difficult without her input. Until you have discussed the possibility with your sister though, I cannot encourage you to undertake a search. Jan

Bio:

The author is a 21-year-old adoptee who wants to help those affiliated with the adoption community. Although the author does not have a medical degree, etc., he is simply extending a listening ear and the perspective of a young adult who is involved in the adoption triad.

Jan is a reunited mother of a 34-year-old son who was relinquished at birth. She also has a daughter and a son whom she raised and is a proud grandmother of three. Jan has no counseling credentials or training, but offers her opinions based on her role as an active member of the adoption community.

Their opinions are not necessarily those of Adoption.com and are provided voluntarily on a weekly basis.

To submit your questions to DB, e-mail adoptionquestions2003@yahoo.com

To submit your questions to Jan, e-mail janb91024@yahoo.com

In order for your questions/comments to be answered in the next week's issue, questions need to be submitted before 12 noon each Wednesday.

In addition, please remember to keep your questions appropriate for Adoption Week e-Magazine; otherwise, they will not be answered or included in the next week's edition.

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17. Speak Out

A while back I was viewing Forums.Adoption.com and saw a post that had the same date of birth as my boyfriend (both he and I are adoptees), so I e-mailed the author and got to talking. Everything that was spoken was an exact match. Just to be sure, I asked my boyfriend's b-mother to sign and have notarized a "Notice of Consent and Permission to the Release of Identifying Information." His b-mother was only 14-15 at the time. She relinquished and couldn't remember a whole lot of anything about the adoption, and because she was so young, her parents/grandparents handled most of the paperwork. So I filed with the superior court of the county where he was born. Then his a-sister sent an article from a newspaper that was written about him and his 4 a-siblings, and it happened to mention the adoption agency who handled his adoption. I sent a copy of the filed consent notice to them, and a week or so later, I wrote a letter to them requesting copies of his file. It worked! About a month or so later, we had confirmation on the post I answered originally and found my boyfriends b-mother. Thank you, Adoption.com! - Betsy

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To: Khari Wilson - I have been searching for my niece who also was born Oct. 12, 1972; however, her birth was in Helena, Montana. She was placed for adoption by my sister. So if any roads lead you to Montana, my e-mail address is sstroede@eudoramail.com. (My sister lived on Villard Street in Helena Montana at the time, and a Catholic agency would have been involved.) Good luck, Susie in Wisconsin

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I am a birth mother in search of her child. He was born in Mesquite, TX on January 1, 1986. I know his adoptive name is Andrew Mark Hall. The last I knew of where he was, he and his adoptive parents lived in Houston or Austin some years ago. I do not know if he is still there or not. He turned 18 in January, and I would like to know if he is ok and to let him know that he has 2 half brothers that want to meet him. I am looking; if anybody knows anything, please let me know. Thanks, Jamie

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Hi, I am searching for my birth mom. I was born Katherine Elizabeth in Rochester, NY at Genesee Hospital on August 11, 1968. I was adopted through Catholic Family Services. You can contact me at kateterp95@aol.com.

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I was born on 4/27/1971 at Eden Hospital in Castro Valley, CA. I was adopted right from the hospital and sent home with my adoptive parents the same day. My birth mother was on one floor of the hospital while my adoptive parents were on another signing the papers. While my adoptive mother was signing the papers, she happened to glance at the papers and learn that my birth mother's name was Patty Lynn Gibson and that she was 16 years old. I have been trying to search for her with no luck. I have recently moved back to California from Washington and would like to resume my search. If anyone has any information on her, please contact me at evonarends@hotmail.com. Sincerely, Adriana Perez

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I put my daughter up for adoption when I was 17 years old, through Catholic Charities in St. Paul, MN. Approximately 15 years ago, I contacted them with my name, address, etc., in case she was interested in finding me. I also registered with several online adoption places. I have never heard anything. I always felt I would be invading her privacy if I did more to try to contact her. Am I right or wrong? She was born on June 1, 1957, at St. Francis Hospital in LaCrosse, WI and adopted by someone in the St. Paul, MN area. She has 3 brothers (not half, as her father and I married 4 years later). Advice please. ngoodbar@aol.com.

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To Speak Out and share your opinion or a comment, or to respond to a message, e-mail editor@adoptionweek.com

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18. Adoption Poetry

19. Adoption Calendar

Chat Schedule:

Sunday:
Reunion Support Group Chat with Loretta in the Search and Reunion room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern

Monday:
Join Dr. Art Becker-Weidman in the hosted chat room at 2 pm Pacific, 3 pm Mountain, 4 pm Central, 5 pm Eastern and ask him questions on attachment therapy and treating children with trauma-attachment disorders.

Adoptee Chat with Thea in the hosted chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern. Thea is a caring adoptee that has recently reunited with her birth mother.

Tuesday:
Birth mom chat with Angelwings. Angel is a birth mom and adoptee. Her chat is held in the BirthMother.chat room at 4 pm Pacific, 5 pm Mountain, 6 pm Central, 7 pm Eastern

Birth father's General Support Chat in the hosted chat room with adoptee and birth father, Terry. All are invited at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm central, 9 pm Eastern

Wednesday:
Pre- and adoptive parent chat with JJ and friends - Help as you begin the adoption process. Hosted in Adoptive Parents chat room at 5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern.

Parenting issues for adoptive/foster parents with Dimasmom in FosterCare chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

Thursday:
Evening with Colleen Buckner, search expert, in Search and Reunion chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

Friday:
If you are having a "limbo" type experience with your reunion, come and talk it over with those who've "been there-done that" themselves. Join co-hosting birth mothers, April and Judy, in the Search and Reunion room on Fridays: 5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern.

Saturday:
Older child adoption/foster care behavioral issues with Jerry in FosterCare chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

For a listing of times and descriptions and to attend scheduled chats, or join the live chat, visit Forums.Adoption.com/Chat.

Adoption Events:

Abc's of International Adoption
June 8 (6:00 pm - 8:00 pm)
First United Methodist Church at 6701 JFK Blvd, North Little Rock, AR
Dillon International, Inc.
During this free informational meeting, attendees will be given an overview of the process of international adoption, individual country requirements and adoption costs. In addition, they will be given information on waiting children from South Korea, China, India, Ukraine, Vietnam, Haiti, and Guatemala. Please call (501) 791-9300, e-mail DillonArkansas@dillonadopt.com, or visit http://www.dillonadopt.com/adoption%20workshops.htm.

China Adoption Information Meeting
June 8 (6:30 pm - 7:30 pm)
Dillon International office, 3227 E. 31st Street, Tulsa, OK
Dillon International, Inc.
During this free informational meeting, attendees will be given an overview of the process of international adoption, adoption from China costs and requirements as well as information on waiting children. Please call Esther at (918) 749-4600, e-mail info@dillonadopt.com, or visit http://www.dillonadopt.com/adoption%20workshops.htm.

Akron General Meeting - Topic: ³Speaking Out About Adoption²
June 9 (7:30 pm - 9:30 pm)
Akron General Health and Wellness Center, 4125 Medina Road, Akron, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
How to share your adoption experience with confidence and clarity. Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birth parents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

What I Learned From Being a Mother Workshop
June 10 (6:00 pm - 9:00 pm)
Cuyahoga County Department of Children and Family Services, 3955 Euclid Ave., (3rd Floor) Cleveland, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Presenter: Kim Langley
RSVP: Free Workshop open to mothers ONLY. Foster parent training certificates and social work/counselor CEU¹s provided. Registration is required; registration closes 3 days prior to workshop. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

Abc's of International Adoption
June 10 (6:30 pm - 8:00 pm)
Ft. Smith Public Library, 3201 Rogers Ave, Ft. Smith, AR
Dillon International, Inc.
During this free informational meeting, attendees will be given an overview of the process of international adoption, individual country requirements and adoption costs. In addition, they will be given information on waiting children from South Korea, China, India, Ukraine, Vietnam, Haiti, and Guatemala. Please call Susan at (479) 632-2327, e-mail Susan@dillonadopt.com, or visit http://www.dillonadopt.com/adoption%20workshops.htm.

Downtown Cleveland General Meeting
June 11 (12:00 pm ­ 1:30 pm) Bring lunch if you wish
Adoption Network Cleveland, 1667 East 40th St. Suite B-1, Cleveland, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birth parents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

International Adoption Seminar
June 12 (9:30 am - 3:30 pm)
Dillon International Office, 3227 E. 31st Street, Tulsa, OK
Dillon International, Inc.
International adoption can be a wonderful experience. Meet adoptive families, their children, and staff members of Dillon International, Inc. The fee covers lunch and seminar materials. The cost is $75.00 for a married couple and $65.00 for a single adult applicant. Facilities do not provide for childcare. To register, call (918) 749-4600, e-mail bev@dillonadopt.com, or visit http://www.dillonadopt.com/adoption%20workshops.htm.

Heights Area General Meeting - Topic: ³The Inner Life of the Adoptee²
June 17 (7:30 pm - 9:30 pm)
Unity of Greater Cleveland, 3350 Warrensville Center Road, Shaker Heights, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Come and hear a group of adoptees share their inner thoughts and experiences. Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birth parents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

Lifebooks Workshop
June 17 (6:00 pm ­ 9:00 pm)
Adoption Network Cleveland, 1667 East 40th St. Suite B-1, Cleveland, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Presenter: Maureen Heffernan
RSVP: Free Workshop. Foster parent training certificates and social work/counselor CEU¹s provided. Registration is required; registration closes 3 days prior to workshop. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

Birthparent Support Meeting
June 19 (2:00 pm ­ 4:00 pm)
Adoption Network Cleveland, 1667 East 40th St. Suite B-1, Cleveland, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Who can attend: Birth parents who have placed a child for adoption. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

International Adoption Support Meeting - Topic: Being An Effective Advocate for Your Adopted Child
June 23 (7:00 pm - 8:30 pm)
Euclid Public Library, Erie Room, 631 E. 222nd. St., Euclid, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Presenter: Zoe Breen-Wood
Who can attend: Adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents of internationally adopted children. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

New Ways to Manage Difficult Behavior: Putting Some Fun Back in Parenting Workshop
June 24 (6:00 pm ­ 9:00 pm)
Cleveland Christian Home, 1700 Denison, (Room 201), Cleveland, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Presenter: Arleta James
RSVP: Free Workshop. Foster parent training certificates and social work/counselor CEU¹s provided. Registration is required. Registration closes 3 days prior to workshop. For more information, and to register, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

Telling the Truth to Your Adopted Child Workshop
June 26 (1:00 pm ­ 4:00 pm)
Warrensville Library, 22035 Clarkwood Pkwy, Warrensville, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Presenter: Zoe Breen-Wood
RSVP: Free Workshop. Foster parent training certificates and social work/counselor CEU¹s provided. Registration is required. Registration closes 3 days prior to workshop. For more information, and to register, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

Lake County General Meeting
June 29 (7:30 pm - 9:30 pm)
Deepwood North Apartments, Rental Office/Community Room, 8100 Deepwood Blvd. (off Rt. 84) Mentor, Ohio (Follow signs to rental office.)
Adoption Network Cleveland
Presenter: Zoe Breen-Wood
Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birth parents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org/.

For local listings, regional seminars, and many other adoption events, visit Events.Adoption.com.

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