1. ANNOUNCEMENT

THANKS FROM ADOPTION.COM TO THE NACAC CONFERENCE STAFF AND ATTENDEES
Adoption.com wishes to thank Vicki DeSanto and her team for all of their help during the NACAC conference in Vancouver, August 6 - 9. The conference was a memorable event for everyone who attended. The staff at Adoption.com enjoyed visiting with attendees from Canada and the United States. Thank you, Vancouver, for the warm welcome and hospitality in your beautiful city!

WIN $250 OF ADOPTION PRODUCTS BY LINKING TO ADOPTION.COM
Do you have a website? First, link from your website to Adoption.com between now and September 15. Next, send an e-mail to editor@adoptionmedia.com with the location on your website containing the link to Adoption.com. Then, you will be eligible for a drawing for $250 of adoption products from AdoptionShop.com. Your website does NOT have to be adoption-related. If you link to Adoption.com from multiple websites and different domain names, multiple entries in the drawing will be accepted. All eligable websites who link to Adoption.com can also be included at AdoptionSearch.com, the largest directory of adoption-related websites. Here is a sample title and description you could use for the link, but you are free to format the link in a way that works for your website:
"Adoption.com - the #1 adoption resource for hopeful adoptive parents, crisis pregnancy, birth parents, adoption parenting, adult adoptees, international adoption, and adoption attorneys & agencies."

LOOKING FOR CANADIAN ADOPTEES OR BIRTHPARENTS FOR DOCUMENTARY
A National Canadian Documentary Television Series is doing a documentary on how the Internet is making searches easier and reunions more frequent. While reunions can be a very positive experience, we would also like to explore the difficulties some adoptees and birthparents are having when faced with a reunion request they may not be prepared for or may not desire. If your birthparent or birthchild has contacted you and you do not want a reunion, or if you have contacted your birthparent or child and they are not ready or willing to have a reunion and you would like to share your perspective with us, please send your information to editor@adoptionmedia.com. We can guarantee your anonymity if required.

ARE YOU A PARENT? ADOPTIONFORUMS PARENTING SECTION NEEDS YOU!
We are looking for people with experience and interest in parenting to help moderate some of our 73 forums for parents with bio and adopted children. The forums are diverse in content and offer support, ideas, information and opportunities for connecting with other parents in similar situations. Interested? Questions? Please e-mail Sabra@adoption.com.

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2. NEW ARTICLES

The views expressed by the authors are solely their own, and for which the authors are responsible. These views do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine.

Not the Fairy Tale I Had Imagined - new article contributed by Jennifer Eynon
Some lady emailed me with the amended name of one of my brothers. About two weeks later I decided to write him a letter explaining who I was, what my intentions were, and it was totally up to him if he wanted to meet. Two days later I received a call from his wife. She was very excited, but said her husband would most likely not react as she had. He was very bitter and always said he wanted no part in finding any bfamily. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=307

Cherry Miracle - new article contributed by Jeanetta Knopp
On June 27, 2003 we were in the Seattle area (over 150 miles from our home here in Yakima) and I was selling cherries in a small stand (we sell in a pretty exclusive area and have wonderful customers) waiting on a customer when a young girl walked across the street. She stood to the right of my customer, and I looked and looked at her face and then I started praying. I knew without a doubt that this beautiful young lady in front of me was my granddaughter. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=308

An Extraordinary Sunday Morning Chat Between Mother and Son - new article contributed by Jan Baker
As I continue to mull over our conversation in my head, a warm and fuzzy feeling flows through me and a huge smile radiates across my face. Our chat was a comfortable and warm one – we are much alike,l and when we communicate there is a natural ease – conversation flows for us quite naturally. We have similar communication styles, both of us are quite talkative, and laughter comes easily too as our senses of humor are in sync with each other. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=309

Read these articles at http://e-magazine.adoption.com, and submit your adoption-related articles to editor@adoptionmedia.com for publication in Adoption Week e-Magazine and Adoption.com.

By submitting content, you represent that you have the rights to this content and that you give Adoption.com and Adoption Week the right to reprint this content on the internet, via e-mail, and in print form.

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Why pay $20 or more for Internet access? With AdoptionISP.com, you pay as low as $12.95 per month, and $3 of your monthly payment is donated to adoption causes. Adoption ISP is a reliable, full-service, nationwide Internet Service Provider (ISP). Sign up for high-speed or dial-up internet access, save money, and make a difference at http://www.AdoptionISP.com.
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3. ADOPTION NEWS

Report Says Children Wait Too Long for Adoption (CT)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.wfsb.com/Global/story.asp?S=1394237

Local Couple Seeks to Adopt Two More Russian Children (MO)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.newstribune.com/stories/080503/com_0804030048.asp

Abandoned Girl Celebrates Second Birthday (India)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://web.mid-day.com/news/city/2003/august/60319.htm

Delighted Deputy Prime Minister Prescott Asks for Time Alone with Family (Scot)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.news.scotsman.com/politics.cfm?id=840232003

Removing Children from Home (CT)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.newsday.com/news/local/wire/ny-bc-ct--dcfreview0804aug04,0,626812.story?coll=ny-ap-regional-wire

If any of the links to the news articles do not work, visit http://www.adoption.com/news for a list of headlines.

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4. ADOPTION BOOK CLUB

I'm Brown and My Sister Isn't
This charming book is written from a child of color's point of view. The book describes differences in children and sibling relationships with simple text and engaging illustrations. Adults and children will be drawn in by the non-judgmental and lighthearted discussion of race and family.

For more information on this book, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/ADP67677.html.

Find 1,000+ other adoption products at AdoptionShop.com.

To share your favorite adoption book with others, join the Adoption Book Club on AdoptionLists.com at http://adoptionlists.com/index.php?action=lists&listname=adoptionbookclub.

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5. MEET NEW HOPEFUL ADOPTIVE PARENTS

Outdated material has been removed. Please visit ParentProfiles.com.

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6. SUCCESSFUL ADOPTION

Steve and I just wanted to send Adoption.com a great big THANK YOU!!! We placed our parent profile on Adoptions.com on July 1st, and by July 25th we had three email contacts from three different birthmothers!

We had spent almost a whole year working through an adoption agency with no indication of a potential adoption situation, and then WHAM - as soon as we placed our profile on Adoption.com we received almost immediate feedback from birthmothers. I cannot express into words how thrilled we were with these contacts and how grateful we are for our decision to utilize Adoption.com for advertising our hopes for adoption. Currently, we have an adoption in progress with one of the three birthmothers. Again, we are so excited by this adoption prospect, and we owe so many thanks to Adoption.com for helping us connect with birthmothers. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

Sincerely,

Steve and Julie

If you are hoping to adopt, visit http://profiles.adoption.com today to start building your online profile.

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7. FEATURED WAITING CHILD

Isaac is a laid back thirteen-year-old boy who is very easy to talk to. Isaac can be stubborn at times, but he is usually outgoing and friendly. He is in special education classes to help him catch up on academic areas where he needs special attention. Isaac receives bi-monthly counseling to deal with his anger outbursts. These children wish to become part of a family that could keep them together. In addition, Isaac and Yasmin have other sibling with whom they wish to maintain contact. A supportive and understanding family willing to help foster this ongoing relationship will be the very best fit for this pair. The ideal family for Isaac and Yasmin would be a two parent family with no other children or children who are much older than they are. It is prefered that the family live in or near Tucson are due to sibling visitation.

http://photolisting.adoption.com is a free community service of Adoption.com featuring more than 1,800 children awaiting loving, permanent homes. Add your agency's waiting children to the most popular adoption website, and help them find loving homes faster. E-mail exchange@adoptablekids.com for info.

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8. ADOPTION GEM

9. ADOPTION BUZZ

When is Enough, Enough? --Moving Beyond Infertility.: - Open vs. Semi-Open Adoption
http://forums.adoption.com/t110932.html

Selecting Adoptive Parents: - Why Would A Birthmom Choose A Single Adoptive Parent?
http://forums.adoption.com/t109822.html

Becoming Foster Parents: - I Want to Know...Aabout EVERYTHING
http://forums.adoption.com/t111215.html

Canadians Adopting Internationally: - U.S. Citizen Adopting Internationally in Canada
http://forums.adoption.com/t92389.html

Military Adoption Search & Reunion: - Searching for Birth Father American Military
http://forums.adoption.com/t111152.html

If any of the links above do not work, visit Adoption.com for direct links to these discussions.

For more online adoption discussions, visit http://www.AdoptionForums.com.

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10. ADOPTION SITE SPOTLIGHT

This week, our adoption spotlight is shining on: FosterChildAdoption.com.

This website gives you information and support related to adopting a child from foster care.

You are welcome to share your story on the Foster Child Adoption Stories message board, find foster adoption rates by state, get information on reimbursement for non-recurring expenses, and read the President's Initiative on Adoption and Foster Care (2002). For more information on adopting from foster care, visit FosterChildAdoption.com.

For a list of our favorite adoption websites, visit http://adoptions.adoption.com.

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11. ADOPTION DESTINATIONS

InternationalAdoption.org is the internet's authoritative destination for international adoption. You will find fact sheets, adoption information, travel information, culture and heritage, maps, weather, books, currency exchange rates, periodicals, news and much more for dozens of different countries with active international adoption programs.

This week, the country of focus is Lithuania.

Independent between the two World Wars, Lithuania was annexed by the USSR in 1940. On 11 March 1990, Lithuania became the first of the Soviet republics to declare its independence, but this proclamation was not generally recognized until September of 1991. Lithuania has restructured its economy for eventual integration into Western European institutions.

To learn more about Lithuania's government, geography, and communication information, or its history, visit http://Lithuania.adoption.com/.

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12. JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT

NO BIG DEAL

Our son, Jonathan, lost his first tooth at school, in first grade. All the other first graders crowded around to see the tooth, and they all began discussing the wonders of the Tooth Fairy, and their personal experiences.

One little boy came from a large family, where finances were very tight. He listened to all the comments about what the Tooth Fairy would bring, and then told Jonathan, "It is NO big deal. She only brings you a nickle."

Contributed by: J. Barnes

E-mail your humorous story or joke to editor@adoptionmedia.com.

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13. FEATURED ADOPTION PROFESSIONAL

Caring Adoption Associates
Ridley Park, PA
Phone: (610) 532 1226
mfischermsw@hotmail.com

Caring Adoption Associates is a caring, committed agency headed by an adoptive mother that specializes in adoption consultation, homestudy, dossier, and post-placement services.

Services: • Adoption Agencies • Home Studies

Find adoption agencies, attorneys and other adoption professionals at http://directory.adoption.com.

To see your ad here, visit http://adoptiondirectory.com/upgrade.php.

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14. ADOPTIONSHOP.COM PICK

Bonding Through Touch: Infant Massage for Adoptive Families Video - Only $20.00

This 50-minute video will enhance the bonding process for adoptive families and their adopted children. It is the perfect gift for any family that has adopted or is considering adoption. Bonding is crucial for adoption, and Infant Massage is a loving approach to deepen the process. Adopted children can be welcomed into heart and home through the gift of Infant Massage.

For more information and ordering instructions, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/THR00001.html.


For more adoption products, visit http://adoptionshop.com.

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15. SOUND COUNSEL

This section is not intended for search advise. It is meant to be an advise column for people with questions concerning their feelings, interested in the opinion of someone who can relate. The views expressed by this author is solely his own, and for which the author is responsible. The content within this column is not to be considered as professional medical, legal or behavioral health information to be used in diagnosis, treatment or actions that would require the consultation and/or services of a licensed, certified or accredited professional. These views do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine.

Question:

My husband and I have successfully adopted our four year old daughter, and I met the birth mom once. After a year, I wanted to know more about her history, and lucky I was very successful in finding her bio-grandmother and met her bio-aunts and her seven siblings. From these meetings I have composed a scrap book for my daughter with all of their names, pictures and birth dates. I made this to give to her when she is ready. All of this her bio family seem to be really great people. They invite her to her sibling's birthdays and some family functions. As my daughter begins to be more verbal, it is hard for me to continue the relationship with her bio family, yet I am open to an open adoption. Unfortunately, my husband is strictly closed to the idea, no matter what positive aspect I tell him about open adoption. It cannot be mentioned in our home. He knows nothing about my encounters with my daughter's bio-family, and I have even hidden the scrapbook at my parents' home in fear he might find it. What do you do when one parent is for an open post adoption and the other is strictly closed to the idea? What comes next? I'm in limbo. Do I proceed, knowing this could be a very positive thing for my daughter, as she will never have to wonder about her bio family? Or do I shut down on the whole relationship I have acquired with her bio family?

Signed,

In Limbo

Answer:

In Limbo:

I think it is great that you have found and acquired information on your daughter's biological family. You're right in that it is going to be such a blessing for your daughter when she starts to ask questions about her biological family. You truly have no idea.

I am not sure what your husband has against an open adoption. I think in most circumstances, if handled correctly, they can be extremely positive in the child's adoptive parent's and biological family's lives. It is very unfortunate that your husband seems to disagree, as this will save your daughter from much of the pain associated with not knowing about where she came from. I cannot explain to you (at lease from my point of view) how painful it is to not know a thing about your biological family. It hurts to not know if you look more like your dad or your mom (or what they look like at all), if you have siblings or not, etc. You have the ability to save your child from anything associated with these and the other anxieties that often plague people given up for adoption. In addition, you have the chance to save her biological mother/father from the same kind of feelings. I speak with people who have given up children for adoption and believe me, they are impacted as much (if not more) than the child. Most of the questions I receive are from people who have given up children.

All that being said, it is still important for you as a wife to respect your husband. Conversely, it is important for him to respect you as well. To be honest, it doesn't sound like he does, or his child for that matter. His motives, although unknown to me, seem selfish. It is hard for me to give advice in this situation, as I do not know enough about your husband's thoughts on the issue of an open adoption. The only thing that keeps coming to mind for me is that he is afraid of losing his child's affection, etc. I can understand his concern with wanting to be the only father in his daughter's life, but what he needs to understand is that by having an open adoption, in any capacity, is the best thing for his daughter. His daughter is not going to come home one day and tell him that he is not longer her father. No matter what, because of you and him, she is who she is (and who she is going to be). You two will ALWAYS be her parents. The great person she is going to be will all be because of how you two raised her. I think sometimes adoptive parents forget that.

I would suggest being a little more firm with your husband, and try to make him discuss it. Maybe by having an open and non-confrontational discussion about the issue, you will bring up some facts that he didn't think about. It sounds like his thought process is extremely one-sided at this time. Don't make a fight out of the discussion, but rather present it as an opportunity to voice one another's opinions. It is possible that he could have some personal reasons for his stance that he hasn't shared with you.

Judging by how you have described your husband, I would keep the scrapbook at your parent's house. It would be a shame to lose that precious information. I don't care what your husband says or does, that book will be the greatest gift your daughter will ever receive. At the very least, you will have that.

I would start by trying to have a civil conversation with him. No matter how that goes, keep the current contact information of your daughter's biological family. You may chose not to have an "open" relationship with them in which you attend the functions described in your email, but at least when your daughter is old enough to make the decision to search, she'll know exactly where to go. You can keep the contact information current without letting your husband know (I do not normally advise people to lie, but in this case your husband is doing more damage than good).

Bottom line: Try to talk to your husband again, keep the contact information for the biological family current and save the scrapbook. If you chose to only peruse the relationship with the biological family in the capacity of keeping their contact information current, explain to them why. They should understand.

I wish you and your family the best. Your daughter is truly blessed to have you as her mother.

DB

Question:

I have a relationship with my birthmother which is about 1 year old. She found me; I had been looking, but very passively. I have an incredible relationship with my adoptive mom and dad who have been very gracious and understanding in giving their blessing for me to develop this relationship. My birthmother and I are very open and honest with each other, but it is still very strange territory. There certainly are no rules for such a relationship.

One of the things that makes me nervous is that I know that she suffered over giving me up, whereas I thrived in the life she gave me. Finding me and having a relationship with me has been a life-changing event for her. Not that it wasn't for me, its just that I don't have the same quantity of emotional needs or unresolved issues that she grapples with. I told her that I didn't think that our growing relationship was ever going to heal the hole she has completely. She agreed but expressed excitement over the eventuality of me "providing her with grandchildren to love". I foresee a conflict between the demands of my mom and my birthmother, not to mention my husband's mother as we sort out all these grandmas. It's bad enough to give fair time to the in-laws at holidays. Sometimes I feel like I am at the top of this pyramid, where everyone wants a part of my love and time and I have all the power and all the obligation. It can be overwhelming. Mostly I read about reunion disasters. I think I have a chance at a resounding success story, but I feel like I am dealing with these issues with a blindfold on.

Sincerely,

R.

Answer:

R.:

Congrats on your reunion with your biological mother.

Your biological mother needs to understand a few things. The most important thing being that although this reunion is a great experience, she cannot come back into your life and be your "mother". Now I know a lot of people are going to jump on me for saying that, but let me explain.

R., you have a mother who raised you. She will be your children's grandmother (along with your husband's). Your biological mother has unrealistic expectations in regard to being your children's "grandmother". She must understand that even though this reunion is wonderful and you are happy to have her in your life, you are making a decision to only allow that relationship to be on the outside at this time. Explain to her that it will take time for you to get to the point (if you get to the point) where you are comfortable having her in your everyday life (involved with your children, marriage, etc.).

I think your biological mother had the expectation that she would find you and instantly be an intricate part of your life. Almost like nothing happened at all. I believe she needs to understand that this is not the case (as you have alluded to in your email). Unfortunately, you are the only one who can explain that to her. The only "rules" in situations like this, are that everyone's comfort with the relationship needs to be the same, and honesty is the best policy. I would also like to throw "good communication" in there, but it seems like an extension of honesty. If you honestly find a problem with her being an active part of your life, as well as your child's, then you need to tell her. Be tactful, but be direct. Don't dance around your feelings. Explain to her that at this time, your comfort levels only allow her to be a part of your life from a distance, and that hopefully you two can grow the relationship into something more.

Reunion relationships need to be nurtured, just as any relationship. Just because someone has given birth to you, doesn't mean that you are instantly going to have that child/parent bond. It works both ways, as I see this same expectation on both sides. I have seen children reunited with their biological parents and all they want is to act like they have been there all along, and vice versa.

Basically, my only advice to you is to be honest with your feelings and concerns with your biological mother. You advised that you had a very open relationship with her, so use that to your advantage. Maybe you should talk to your adoptive parents before having that conversation with her. They may be able to spread some light on the situation for you. They know you better than I do; in addition, they are a little more wise (to say the least) than I am. It is good that they have been so supportive of your relationship with your biological mother, and I am sure they will continue that support now in this situation.

DB

To submit your questions, e-mail adoptionquestions2003@yahoo.com

In order for your questions/comments to be answered in the next week's issue, questions need to be submitted before 12 noon each Thursday.

In addition, please remember to keep your questions appropriate for Adoption Week e-Magazine; otherwise, they will not be answered or included in the next week's edition.

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16. SPEAK OUT

The Speak Out section has become a "Searching For" section. Doesn't anyone have anything work speaking out about? This section is looking more and more like a Personals column!
- Lori, Long Island

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Response to Marie in 'Speak Out': I was born in Brooklyn Hospital in 1968, and my adoption was through NY Foundling also. I knew my name because I was foster for almost four years; my bmom never signed papers. There is a registry in New York State for adoptees to obtain medical information about their birth parents. That might be helpful to you.

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I am an adult adoptee, who recently found my birth mother. It was not the reunion I had envisioned after all these years. When I contacted her, she denied giving birth to me and when I asked if she gave birth to a baby girl in 1965 she responded by saying, "that was a long time ago." I am in the process of sending her a letter, explaining that I do not want any thing from her. I've always had a great desire to see the woman who gave birth to me. I had found her sister first in my search, and she was very reluctant to speak with me but filled me in on some aspects of my birth mother. Especially the fact that she was not suppose to know of my existence. I wanted to use that angle when I spoke to her that her sister and her family know of me, why can't she admit it. This has put a complete halt on me getting to know my Aunt and her children. The worse part of all this is that I'm living within 20 minutes of all of them. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what else I could do so that she may acknowledge me or let me hear of their experience? Thank you, Nancy K., Ohio

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My situation is a little different. I am searing for my niece, that my sister gave up for adoption 30 years ago. She will be 31 in Oct. She was born in Helena, MT and my sister went through a Catholic agency. I have been searing for 10 years. Her birthday is Oct. 11 or 12th, 1972. All her family lives in Wisconsin. So if she has been trying to locate us, it could be difficult.

Your Long Lost Aunt in Wisconsin,
Susie (sstroede@eudoramail.com)

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Hi, I am the editor and publisher of Narrations, the newsletter by and for children who are touched by adoption. We were recently mentioned in Adoptive Families magazine and on About.com. Our mission is to encourage children to express their issues surrounding adoption through writing and art. We have received very postive feedback on our first two issues. If you know of any children who might want to contribute their stories or artwork, please visit www.NarrationsNews.com. We are also seeking sponsors to help our newsletter continue to be published. It does not cost a lot and means a lot to the children whose voices are being heard. Please visit www.NarrationsNews.com for more information. Thanks! - Kathy

(AdoptionShop.com carries this product. For more information and ordering instructions, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/NAR00001.html).

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To whom it may concern: I am seeking information related to my biological parents. I was born June 26, 1964. I have 1 brother and 2 sisters that waere also adopted with me. Thank God we stayed together. My birth mom name is Joyce; she lived in NYC, probably the Bronx. That is where our adoption took place. Our birth last name was Simmons; our last name today is Williams. Was born in Jacoby Hospital, and I beleive I have two more brothers that weren't apopted. Seeking to find my birth parents or some relatives. Any information that can help me to where to began will be helpful. - D.W.

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We are looking for open, loving and caring families to host an international teen. These students are wanting to fulfill their American dream by living with an American family and attending your local high school. If you are considering adopting an international child, this would be an excellent source to learn about that particular culture, or if you have adopted a child from another country, this would be a wonderful opportunity for your child to have a brother or sister from their native country and learn about that culture through a home stay experience.

The students bring their own spending money and medical insurance. The host families provide room and board and a loving, caring home and the willingness to learn and share each other cultures. We want your family as the next host of an international student. Please call Tiffany Adams, today at ASA International, a non-profit organization toll-free 1-877-283-5470 to make a difference in a child's life.

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I have been searching off and on for 10+ years for my birthmother. I was born 08/29/1965 in Salt Lake County, Utah and adopted immediately through LDS Social Services / Relief Society. I only know that my birth mother was 16 at the time of my birth (born in 1949) and was LDS, but I also believe her maiden name may have been "Smith". My birth father was in the military and was born in 1946. Any help would be immensely appreciated. My search would be complete to be able to meet and tell her "thank you" for giving me the gift of life. Please contact me at wolf2423@msn.com with any information.

To Speak Out and share your opinion or a comment, or to respond to a message, e-mail editor@adoptionmedia.com.

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17. ADOPTION ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP REVIEW

Here's a recent post from the India Adoption group:

Here's an idea from a recently-attended Indian Heritage Camp. Rangoli is the Indian custom of marking porches, sidewalks, outside walls of buildings with intricate drawings -- I've heard them explained as "prayers in drawing form." Rangoli is easily removed and redone anew each day, making it a really dynamic art form. The nice thing is, in it's simplest form, it can be done by any child old enough to manage sidewalk chalk. At camp, kids were provided with sidewalk chalk to draw the outline of a figure they wanted to make (some children used traditional rangoli symbols, but many kids just chose to do a simple, pleasant form like a star or a sunburst). Then, a fine powder is used to fill in the drawing, much like sand art.

The "recipe" for the powder is what got me hooked -- it's so simple! You can make your own rangoli powder by purchasing a large bag of rice flour (wheat flour is too dusty) and a few bottles of different colored powder tempera paint. Take a portion of the rice flour and add powdered tempera paint until you get the color you like! If you've got kids for whom summer vacation is just getting toooo loooong, get 'em out of the house for a cheap, easy, fun activity with Indian roots!

To be part of this group, or one of 70+ other adoption-related online e- mail discussion groups, visit http://AdoptionLists.com, register, and join.

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18. ADOPTION POETRY

THOUGHTS OF A MOTHER
To Amanda Mine

One touch from your lips
Tells me you care.
One wisp of your hair
Makes my heart feel all but bare.

The years go in rows of ten,
What I wouldn't do to give them back by then.
Mistakes are made by those who care,
My heart is still about to tear.

A mother's love never dies,
Of this I would tell no lies.
The day will come, when our hearts will meet.
Until then, I will just take a seat.

Kimberly Rae Hanzlik
Copyright ©2003 Kimberly Rae Hanzlik
*[a.] Winnemucca, NV [title] "Thoughts of a Mother" [pers.] "Thoughts of A Mother" is the way I feel about my daughter. She is not with me, and the last time I saw her, she was five days old. She is with a special family now and I hope she is happy. If she is anything like me, she will find me.

For more adoption poetry, visit http://poetry.adoption.com.

Submit your adoption poetry to editor@adoptionmedia.com.

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19. ADOPTION CALENDAR

CHAT SCHEDULE:

Sunday:
Reunion Support Group Chat with Loretta in the Search and Reunion room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern

Monday:
Join Dr. Art Becker-Weidman in the hosted chat room at 2 pm Pacific, 3 pm Mountain, 4 pm Central, 5 pm Eastern and ask him questions on attachment therapy and treating children with trauma-attachment disorders.

Adoptee Chat with Thea in the hosted chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern. Thea is a caring adoptee that has recently reunited with her birthmother.

Tuesday:
Birth mom chat with Angelwings. Angel is a birthmom and adoptee. Her chat is held in the BirthMother.chat room at 4 pm Pacific, 5 pm Mountain, 6 pm Central, 7 pm Eastern

Birth father's General Support Chat in the hosted chat room with adoptee and birthfather, Terry. All are invited at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm central, 9 pm Eastern

Attachment Disorder: A Journey of Hope Chat with Parent Nancy Geoghegan; educational weekly chat at 7 pm Pacific, 8 pm Mountain, 9 pm Central, 10 pm Eastern

Wednesday:
Pre- and adoptive parent chat with JJ and friends - Help as you begin the adoption process. Hosted in Adoptive Parents chat room at 5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern.

Parenting issues for adoptive/foster parents with Dimasmom in FosterCare chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

Join an informative chat on the ups and downs of reunion hosted by Sabra since 1997. Talk out your next step and share your experiences in search and reunion at 7 pm Pacific, 8 pm Mountain, 9 pm Central, 10 pm Eastern in the Search and Reunion chat room.

Thursday:
Evening with Colleen Buckner, search expert, in Search and Reunion chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

Friday:
If you are having a "limbo" type experience with your reunion, come and talk it over with those who've "been there-done that" themselves. Join co-hosting birth mothers, April and Judy, in the Search and Reunion room on Fridays: 5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern.

Saturday:
Older child adoption/foster care behavioral issues with Jerry in FosterCare chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

For a listing of times and descriptions and to attend scheduled chats, or join the live chat, visit http://forums.adoption.com/chat.

ADOPTION EVENTS:

AKRON GENERAL MEETING
August 13 (7:30 pm - 9:30 pm)
Akron General Health and Wellness Center, 4125 Medina Road, Akron, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birthparents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, call (216) 881-7511 or visit http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org.

ADOPTION INFORMATION MEETING
August 20 (7:00 pm)
PSBI in Hilltown Township at 520 Dublin Road, Hilltown, PA
Pearl S. Buck International
for families interested in learning about international and domestic adoptions. The seminar is presented without fee as a public service to build awareness of the importance of international adoption as well as the different options available to families interested in adopting a child domestically. To make a reservation or receive more information, call Welcome House at (215)249-0100 or e-mail info@pearl-s-buck.org.

PARENT-TO-PARENT ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP MEETING: Topic - Coping with Childhood Trauma
August 21 (7:00 pm - 10:00 pm)
Sarah Bush Hospital in Mattoon, Illinois in the Education Department
Lutheran Social Services
Open to all foster/adoptive families in the area. For more information please call Bea at Lutheran Social Services in Charleston, Illinois at (217) 348-3333.

HEIGHTA AREA GENERAL MEETING
August 21 (7:30 pm - 9:30 pm)
Unity of Greater Cleveland, 3350 Warrensville Ctr Road, Shaker Heights, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birthparents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, call (216) 881-7511 or visit http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org.

LAKE COUNTY GENERAL MEETING
August 26 (7:30 pm - 9:30 pm)
Deepwood North Apartments, Rental Office/Community Room, 8100 Deepwood Blvd. (off Rt. 84) Mentor, Ohio. Follow signs to rental office.
Adoption Network Cleveland
Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birthparents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, call (216) 881-7511 or visit http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org.

INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION SUPPORT MEETING
August 27 (7:00 pm - 8:30 pm)
Euclid Public Library, Erie Room, 631 E. 222nd. St., Euclid, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Who can attend: Adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents of internationally adopted children. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, call (216) 881-7511 or visit http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org.

WORKSHOP FOR NON-RESIDENT INDIAN (NRI) FAMILIES CONSIDERING ADOPTION
August 28 (6:00 pm - 8:00 pm)
38 Edge Hill Road, Waltham, MA
Wide Horizons For Children
Free workshop for couples of Indian heritage and others seeking more information about adopting from India. Couples up to age 40 may adopt an infant; up to age 50 for older children. A family who has just completed their adoption will speak about their experience. For further information, or to reserve a place at the workshop, please contact Homai Dalal Schmidt at (781) 419-0323 or by e-mail at hschmidt@whfc.org.

INFORMATION MEETING
September 6 (1:00 - 3:00 pm)
East Lansing Library, 950 Abbott Rd, East Lansing, MI
Great Wall China Adoption
Looking for couples aged 30-55 willing to open their hearts and homes to a Chinese orphan. Children of all ages and both genders are available. For more information, or to reserve a spot at the workshop, please contact Kim Bakos, GWCA Satellite Representative, at (269) 429-6292 or kimberbakos@yahoo.com.

ADOPTION GROUP FOR PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENTS
September 9 (7:00 - 9:00 pm)
San Jose, California
Resolve of Northern California
Prospective adoptive parents are invited to explore their questions and concerns about all types of adoption in an intensive eight-week support group led by Sara Lively, M.S.Ed. For more information and to register, call (831) 476-7252 or visit http://www.adoptionpaths.com.

For local listings, regional seminars, and many other adoption events, visit AdoptionCalendar.com.

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