1. ANNOUNCEMENTS:
   - New eBooks
   - Newly Reorganized and Updated
   - Celebrities.Adoption.com
   - Adoption Photo Contest 2005
2. THE ADOPTION BLOG - web log by Nancy Ashe
3. HIGHLIGHTED ARTICLES
4. ADOPTION NEWS
5. ADOPTION LAW & POLICY NEWS
6. FEATURED ADOPTION PRODUCT
7. FEATURED WAITING CHILD
8. MEET NEW HOPEFUL ADOPTIVE PARENTS
9. ADOPTION GEM - inspirational thought
10. ADOPTION BUZZ - message board discussions
11. JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT - clean weekly humor
12. FEATURED ADOPTION PROFESSIONAL
13. COUNSEL FROM AN ADOPTEE AND A BIRTH MOTHER
14. SPEAK OUT - contributions from our readers
15. ADOPTION POETRY
16. ADOPTION CALENDAR - events, seminars, & chats

Adoption Network Law Center - Creating families...one miracle at a time. Start your adoption today; it's easier than you think. Caring & compassionate services.

Adopting for Tomorrow Magazine - Committed to serving adoptive and potential adoptive parents as an invaluable resource by providing the most current and relevant information on domestic and international adoption.

East Meets West – China Adoption Conference - Register today for an all-day event full of educational workshops. Special guests include two Chinese Orphanage Directors. All paid registrations receive a coupon for $50.

New eBooks:
Families with Internationally Adopted Children Guidebook - Lori Grace
Free (No Cost) Adoption - Julia Fuller
Adopting Jill - Julia Fuller
Adopting Special Needs Children - Julia Fuller
Visit Adoptionshop.com to see our variety of eBooks!

Newly Reorganized and Updated
In an effort to ensure that information is current and easy to navigate, Adoption.com is pleased to announce that several of our popular site areas have been updated and reorganized:
Laws.adoption.com - State and Federal Laws
Adoptees.adoption.com - Adult Adoptees
Waiting-children.adoption.com - Adopting a Waiting Child
Older-child.adoption.com - Adopting & Parenting Older Children
AdoptionTravel.com - The Adoption Travel Source
Russia.adoption.com - Russia Adoption & Adoptive Families
Poetry.adoption.com - Favorites, Classics, and User-contributed Poems
Stories.adoption.com - User-contributed Stories

Celebrities.Adoption.com
Check out the newly-added biographies of well-known adoptive and birth parents! Visit Celebrities.adoption.com now.

Adoption Photo Contest 2005
Don't forget to send in your adoption-related photo for Adoption.com's Adoption Photo Contest 2005! Remember: All entries must be received before April 30, 2005 to be eligible. Click here for more information.

Limiting Family Size - According to a news story from Massachusetts, the adoption of two children by a family with 5 children has been stopped because of a law about the number of children in a home where foster and adoptive placements are made...more.

A Question of Age - Adoption professionals aren't the only group faced with the question of "how old is too old?" Medical ethicists are also faced with the question when it comes to assisted reproduction. Earlier this year, a Romanian woman gave birth - using donated sperm and eggs - at age 66...more.

The views expressed by the authors are solely their own, and for which the authors are responsible. These views do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine.

Therapy with Adoptees in Puberty - new article by Niels Peter Rygaard
The background of these reflections is a number of therapies with a quite uniform content matter: the adopted child enters puberty, and the family experiences a number of serious conflicts to the surprise of those involved. These conflicts often contain the element of intense anger towards the adoptive parents, some times even violence...more

Children and Grief - article contributed by MN ASAP
Just as with adults, children who fail to deal with feelings associated with loss and grief cannot move through the healing process. Keeping the feelings inside and pushing away sad thoughts may result in relational, physical, and emotional problems in adulthood. Unresolved feelings associated with past losses can affect the future, leading to a cycle of loss in the adult years...more

Reading between the Lines to Help Students in Trouble - article by Dr. Raymond J. and Eileen Huntington
While extra help from caring, motivated teachers can help many children regain their academic balance, others may need a program of supplemental instruction tailored to specific learning needs...more

Read these articles at e-magazine.adoption.com, and submit your adoption-related articles for publication in Adoption Week e-Magazine and Adoption.com.

Mother's Role in Boy's Death Disputed
In the final days before her newly adopted son died, Irma Pavlis repeatedly slapped, punched and shook the 6-year-old boy as she grew increasingly frustrated by his disruptive behavior...more

Child Hospitalized after Being with Birth Parents
Four-year-old Sandra Lynn Soto was hospitalized in Seattle with severe head injuries after state social workers returned her to the home of her biological parents...more

Former Foster Children to Get Increase in Aid
Under the state's child welfare reform plan, which was mandated by a federal judge, the department increased its funding for former foster care children this fiscal year by $4.8 million, for a total of $11.5 million. Foster care cases will now be kept open until children involved turn 21 unless the youth requests the case to be closed sooner...more

Airlifted 30 Years Ago from Vietnam as Orphan...
Closure - whatever that means - is not Roger Castillo's goal. What he seeks is information that will satisfy curiosity and fill the holes in his life...more

Group Tries for Maine Open-Adoption Law
Cathy Robishaw never got a chance to meet her birth mother, but the information she learned when uncovering her original birth certificate helped save her life...more

Read more headlines at news.adoption.com.

April 14, 2005

WEEKLY NEWS SUMMARY

International Adoption/ Advocacy Efforts of the Birth Country
Russia: “Cross-Country Adoption on Rise in Russia” - by Staff Writer
Russian News and Information Agency – Novosti, April 4, 2005
Click here.

WEEKLY CASE SUMMARY

Indian Child Welfare Act/Termination of Parental Rights
Montana: In re of A.G., W.G., T.A., J.A.
The Supreme Court of Montana reversed, and remanded for further hearings, the District Court’s decision to terminate a mother’s parental rights to her four children...
Cite: No. 04-357, 2005 MT 81; 2005 Mont. LEXIS 89 (Mont. Mar. 30, 2005)
Click here.

Who Am I?
Has your life been touched by adoption?? Have you or a friend adopted a child? "Who Am I?" is a children's picture book that will be a helpful resource in providing a child with a complete understanding of the miracle of adoption. Each child will feel special and more secure as a result of learning what each letter in adoption represents. Children at a young age have so many questions regarding their identities and the circumstances surrounding each adoption experience. They typically want to know why their birth parents could not keep them. They want to know why they were adopted into their families. The pages in this book are bright and colorful, which help create a cheerful and fun tone, in which a child feels good when learning about adoption. The child will better understand God's love in building families through adoption. Children will learn to celebrate adoption, and will view adoption as another wonderful way, in which to build a family...more

Find 1,000+ other adoption products at adoptionshop.com.

Photolisting.adoption.com is a free community service of adoption.com featuring thousands of children awaiting loving, permanent homes. Add your agency's waiting children to photolisting.adoption.com, and help them find loving homes faster... more

Gary & Sherrie (TX) Greg & Jennifer (OH) Joe & Joan (TX) Garrett & Tereza (CA) Kraig & Michele (TX)

John & Aimee (VA) Tim & Suzanne (VA) Joe & Karen (NC) Jerrod & Cindy (WA) Noah & Betsy (NY)

Are you pregnant? Visit parentprofiles.com (a service of Adoption Profiles, LLC) to find the right adoptive parents for your baby. Are you a hopeful adoptive parent? Build your profile.

Adoptees In Difficult Birth Family Relationships: - Bmom Never Revealed Pregnancy to Bdad The Healing Wall: - I Hurt So Much Adoptive Parents Struggling With the Reunion of Their Adopted Children and Birth Parents: - Update Foster Parent Support: - Kids Are Confused A Social Worker and Therapist's Point of View on Foster Care: - Unusual Circumstances Adoptees In Difficult Birth Family Relationships: - Am I Wrong To Want To Pull Away...


For more on-line adoption discussions, visit adoptionforums.com.

"It Wasn't Easy..."

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."

Amrex Inc - Alpharetta, GA
Phone: (678) 393-7100   E-mail: main@amrex.org
services: • Adoption Facilitators • International Adoption
countries: • Australia/New Zealand • Kazakhstan • Russia • United Kingdom...more

Question:

I am trying to find my niece and nephew who were adopted out in California when they were toddlers. I am not sure how to go about this search. I am unable to hire someone to do it for me.

Thank you.

June

Answers: To read Jan and Linda's responses, click here.

Read columnists' bios and ask your question.

I am a birth mother who did not want to give her child up, but my parents insisted. They offered no help, and welfare did not tell me of any assistance. The father didn't want a child and joined the military. My daughter was born in 1969, and without a choice, I gave her up. Through the grace of God, I located her on this site (Adoption.com) 4 1/2 years ago. We are so close now, but don't get to see much of each other, as her husband is in the military. I have not come between her and her adoptive parents. I don't want to: they were there for her when I couldn't be; they love her. We have been become best friends. I turned 50 one month after locating my daughter, and within 2 months, I was able to meet her in person after many phone calls and e-mails. I want to say thank you for this site. Without it, I would still be looking for my daughter. Thanks. - Kathy G.

This is in response to the message written by SWH in April 12th's newsletter. It was so refreshing to see an adoptee who has so eloquently expressed love, admiration and appreciation for their "real" adoptive parents. It just seems that over and over all we hear about is the emptiness and maladjusted stories of those that are adopted. It would really be beneficial for birth parents and adoptive parents to hear the "success" stories of adults like you, who are well-adjusted and understand the real concept of adoption. I adopted my precious daughter at birth, and I am the only mom she has ever known. I am not diminishing the wonderful act of her birth mother, and I will always be thankful for her ability to have the strength to give up her baby. Her birth mother brought her into this world; however, we are giving her life. I hope and pray each day that the love and very strong foundation that we are giving to our daughter will give her the strong sense of self that any well-adjusted adult needs - adopted or not. I think that a lot of people who might have had difficult lives or had self-esteem issues, are quick to blame the fact that they were adopted for the reason of their issues, when this is not necessarily true. I respect anyone's "need" to meet their birth family due to curiosity, and I would support my daughter if that were her wish. I also understand the need for birth mothers to want to contact a birth child, but they also should understand that it might not be the best thing for the adoptee. But please remember, most people who choose to adopt strive to have their children feel "whole" and loved and a part of their family, exactly like a child that was born to them. I would be very interested in conversing with anyone who shares my views and had any suggestions on assisting my daughter in understanding about being adopted. Please write through this forum or privately. - M.N.N.

Reading Dr. Lawrence's article reminded me of why I continue to do the job I do as a social worker. Yes, most of the time it is a difficult, thankless job. Often the courts order us to do things that we think are wrong, but yet we have no choice. I had a situation recently that perfectly illustrates what happens, from a social worker's point of view. A 16-year-old girl in a relative placement was touched in an inappropriate manner. The individual responsible immediately sought help from his church in the form of pastoral counseling, and the mother was also being very vigilant in watching the girls when her husband was around. In spite of this, the state felt that the girls were at risk and ordered them to be immediately moved from the sister's home. As the social worker, I understood both the family's point of view and the state's point of view and both had some good points. So, I solved the dilemma bye allowing the girl to go to the home of an aunt. The Department was unhappy with this decision. Although I had done criminal records checks and evaluated the home, it had not been approved by the official people with the right to approve it. My opinion didn't matter; it had to be someone with the proper title. So, I was ordered to place this child in a foster care home until her aunt can be evaluated. It is not fair to the child or to her family. I was not happy with it. I fought it all the way to upper management, but in the end there was nothing I could do. This is why a majority of workers cease to care. We are as abused emotionally as those we serve. We are the ones that are in the middle. Management and courts make the orders, and we are left to deal with the children, the bio-parents, the foster parents, and anyone else who is involved. We are not asked how we feel or what we think; we are just given orders. The same is true for our court reports. If management dislikes what we write, it has to be changed. Opinions are not allowed. Everything must be supported. I cannot even state that a parent "shows evidence of mental illness" without getting a psychological evaluation to support that statement. I may observe her talking to voices that no one can hear, but I still cannot state she is mentally ill without a psychologist's report. Yet, for a foster parent, all that it takes is an accusation and the kids are moved. The system is totally upside down and inside out. As the article asked, "When?" When will social workers be allowed to do social work? When will foster parents and foster children be listened to? When will administrators stand up and pay attention? Signed, Burned out in California

A few days ago, I found my daughter, after 34 long years. If not for (a woman named) Jennifer, I had reached the point of giving up on ever seeing my daughter again. Within 24 hours of contacting givenright, I was talking to my daughter. We have talked ever since - so much to catch up on. Jennifer was a godsend to us. If you are ready to give up, don't do it; there is always hope. I know...I now have my daughter back in my life. - Carol

I know just how K.W. feels. I was born and raised overseas--military life style and was forced to give my baby up for adoption in 1968 in a Chicago suburb. Growing up, I never heard of state aid, public assistance, social services, or anything like that; there wasn't even unemployment. Everybody living where I was raised all worked for Uncle Sam. There was no one, BUT we found each other a few months ago. Had I had any idea back then, any kind of alternative, I would have risked everything and taken it. They wouldn't even tell me whether my baby was a boy or girl. I just kept searching after my son turned 18 and had to search 18 years, before the internet was available. Turned out he was looking for me, too. Jan, the counselor in this e-magazine, helped me tremendously. Things started off great, but then we've hit a few bumps in our relationship, but we deal with things together. I found his dad for him, and they met and are staying in contact. But I was forced to give my baby up, and social services told me that there was a loving couple who wanted so much to adopt my baby, and it turned out he was physically and mentally abused, as much as I was. By the way, I'm a 55-year-old adoptee and still looking for my birth family, but I'm so glad half of my search has finally ended. I pray and wish you the best. - JaanB

K.W., I wish our daughter's case was more like yours, or where her bio family did change. Unfortunately, it isn't. Her bio dad is in Level III Maximum Security Prison, and her mom has a disease that will probably kill her in a matter of a few years. Our daughter was in foster care from age 6 to 11 and has repeatedly told us that she doesn't ever want to reunite but that she wants to know her heritage. There is a bit of information that might indicate that she could be 1/8 or more American Indian. How do we find this information without contacting any birth family? She is also only 14 years old, and her bio dad has threatened to have her kidnapped if he was to find out where she is. Is there a way to get birth, death and marriage information without the family members knowing about it? Is there a good and reputable genealogy site that could do the work for us? - Leanne

I want everyone to know that STIGMA, the support group for rape and incest conceived individuals, has now become The T.H.R.I.V.E. Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to Teaching, Healing, Rebuilding, & Inspiring Victims' Emotions. This group will continue to provide the vital support that individuals conceived by rape and incest (often adoptees, like me) and birth mothers who conceived as the result of rape often cannot find through other support channels. Our website remains a free service, accessible to all who benefit by this support, and will soon include support groups for rape victims in general as well as those who conceived in rape. Our web address is http://www.thethrivefoundation.org. - Jennifer A. Eick-Jakiela

Speak Out - share your opinion, comment, or respond to a message.

Read more adoption poetry, or share your adoption poem.

Chat Schedule:

Sunday
Open Adoptions
5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern
Chat with BrandyHagz who is an adoptee and birth mother, about open adoptions in the hosted chat room. This chat is open to all sides of the adoption triad.

Monday
Therapy for Older Children and Trauma-Attachment Disorders
2 pm Pacific, 3 pm Mountain, 4 pm Central, 5 pm Eastern
Join Dr. Art Becker-Weidman in the hosted chat room and ask him questions on therapy for older children and trauma-attachment disorders.

Tuesday
Foster Care
6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern
For those who are interested in foster care or would like to share their concerns and experiences with others, join Stacy, luv'mall, in the hosted chat room.

Wednesday
Search and Reunion
5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern
Join Bama Donna in the search and reunion chat room for advice and support.

There are no hosted chats on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. If you are interested in hosting a chat on a topic you don't see listed, contact admin@adoptionmedia.com.

Adoption Events:

Open House
April 19 (5:30 pm - 7:30 pm) - ARC Florida Office, 1999 University Drive, Suite 201, Coral Springs, FL
Adoption Resource Center, Inc. - RSVP to Liz Guigon at (954) 370-3245.

ABC's of International Adoption
April 19 (6:00 pm - 8:00 pm) - First United Methodist Church, 6701 JFK Blvd, North Little Rock, AR
Dillon International, Inc. - During this free informational meeting, attendees will be given an overview of the process of international adoption, individual country requirements and adoption costs. In addition, they will be given information on waiting children from South Korea, China, India, Ukraine, Vietnam, Haiti, and Guatemala. Please call (501) 791-9300, e-mail, or click here.

Issues of Identity and Health: Trans-national Adoptees
April 21 (5:00 pm - 7:00 pm) - NYU School of Medicine (550 1st Avenue in Manhattan, entrance to the medical center is at 1st Avenue and 32nd Street), Schwartz Lecture Hall F
Center for the Study of Asian American Health, NYU School of Medicine - Free and open to the public. A screening of Deann Borshay's documentary "First Person Plural" will constitute the first half of the presentation. The second portion of the event will be a panel discussion moderated by Hollee McGinnis. Joining her will be Dr. Jane Aronson, and Lorial Crowder. Light refreshments will be served. For more information about the event, contact Nicholas Gavin.

East Meets West - China Adoption Conference
April 23 (7:30 am - 4:30 pm) - Westin Pasadena, 191 North Los Robles Ave., Pasadena, CA
Great Wall China Adoption - Join us as we explore all phases of China's adoption program. Hear from leaders in the adoption community and China officials. To view agenda, featured speakers and valuable door prizes, click here.

ABC's of International Adoption
April 23 (10:00 am - 12:00 pm) - Yarborough Library, 2200 Hancock Dr, Austin, TX
Dillon International, Inc. - During this free informational meeting, attendees will be given an overview of the process of international adoption, individual country requirements and adoption costs. In addition, they will be given information on waiting children from South Korea, China, India, Ukraine, Vietnam, Haiti, and Guatemala. Please call (512) 467-9177, e-mail, or click here for details.

Adopting from China
April 25 (7:00 pm - 9:00 pm) - Rockford Community Cabin, 220 North Monroe Street, Rockford, MI
Great Wall China Adoption - Free informational meeting. Meet families who have returned from China and hear from them, first hand, about their experiences. For more information, or to register, contact Christine Bedford by e-mail, call (616) 866-9668, or click here.

Adoption Power Hour with Adoption Advocate, Penny Phillips
April 27 (7:00 pm) - Trumbull YMCA, 20 Trefoil Drive, Trumbull, CT
Lutheran Social Services of New England - Free, but space is limited Come join this informal information meeting about adoption through an inclusive faith-based social service organization that has been bringing New England families together through adoption for over 135 years. In a one-hour period, participants can get a quick, intensive overview of adoption opportunities. Internationally, there are thousands of children waiting. Phone 24 hrs in advance to make reservations: 1-800-286-9889..

First Annual ADN Conference
April 27, 28
Attachment Disorder Network - A seminar featuring Nancy Thomas, Therapeutic Parenting Specialist. Two full days for both parents and professionals, with a special parents networking reception on Wednesday night. Click here for further details.

You Can Afford Adoption: Getting Started Seminar
April 30 - (9:00 am - 1:00 pm) - Georgia World Congress Center, Atlanta, GA
A Mother's Charm - Free to the public - Exhibitors (adoption professionals with tons of information and services for prospective adoptive parents), Speakers (professional tax and financial expert speakers and adoptive families sharing "how to" afford adoption). AMC requests attendees bring orphanage aid donations for children in Guatemala, Russia and the Ukraine. (In-Kind Sponsor: Genesis Adoptions) To learn more and register, click here.

Pre-Adoption Workshop
April 30 (9:30 am - 3:30 pm) - First United Methodist Church, 313 N. Center, Arlington, TX
Dillon International, Inc. - International adoption can be a wonderful experience. This one-day seminar costs $75.00 for a married couple and $65.00 for a single adult applicant. The fee covers lunch and seminar materials. Facilities do not provide for childcare. To register, e-mail, call (918) 749-4600, or click here.

Adoption Power Hour with Adoption Advocate, Penny Phillips
May 4 (7:00 pm) - New Canaan YMCA, 564 South Ave, New Canaan, CT
Lutheran Social Services of New England - Free, but space is limited Come join this informal information meeting about adoption through an inclusive faith-based social service organization that has been bringing New England families together through adoption for over 135 years. In a one-hour period, participants can get a quick, intensive overview of adoption opportunities. Internationally, there are thousands of children waiting. Phone 24 hrs in advance to make reservations: 1-800-286-9889..

Adoption Power Hour with Adoption Advocate, Penny Phillips
May 6 (7:00 pm) - Noon Stamford Library, Corner of Broad/Bedford, Stamford, CT
Lutheran Social Services of New England - Free, but space is limited Come join this informal information meeting about adoption through an inclusive faith-based social service organization that has been bringing New England families together through adoption for over 135 years. In a one-hour period, participants can get a quick, intensive overview of adoption opportunities. Internationally, there are thousands of children waiting. Phone 24 hrs in advance to make reservations: 1-800-286-9889..

Third Annual Adoption Conference: Meeting the Challenges of Adoptive Parenting
Key Note Speakers: Barbara Tremitiere & Adam Pertman
May 14 (7:00 pm - 8:30 pm) - Winthrop University Hospital, Mineola, NY
New Beginnings Family and Children's Services - This annual conference is to provide individuals with necessary building blocks to have their family grow through international adoption. Conference participants will have the opportunity to attend numerous workshops, seminars, lectures and panel discussions covering different stages and aspects of the adoption journey. Led by professionals and experts in the adoption field. The workshops will provide up-to-date information as well as a forum for discussions. For more information, please call Justine Lewis at (516) 747-2204, or click here to download a registration.

To view local listings, regional seminars, many other adoption events, and to list your organization's events, visit adoptioncalendar.com.