1. Announcements

FosterParenting.com and Adopting.Adoption.com Have New Content
FosterParenting.com and Adopting.Adoption.com have been expanded. Both sites have new content and better navigation, making it easier to find what you want when you want. Check out http://http://FosterParenting.com and http://Adopting.Adoption.com.

More Online Games at Games.Adoption.com
Games.Adoption.com has lots of new games. With a new look and over 45 free online games, Games.Adoption.com is the place to be. Check it out at http://Games.Adoption.com.

Rock Your Baby to Sleep with a Lullaby from Lullabies.Adoption.com
Have you run out of songs to sing your little one? Are you unsure of the words to your favorite lullaby? Visit http://Lullabies.Adoption.com for some ideas and to stir your memory.

Finance Your Adoption
Interested in financing your adoption but unsure of how to go about it? Visit http://Loans.Adoption.com to apply for a loan, get a free credit report, and other resources designed to help with the financial aspect of adoption. Even if you have a unique situation, there may be some options available. For more information about funding your adoption, visit http://Loans.Adoption.com.

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2. Highlighted Articles

The views expressed by the authors are solely their own, and for which the authors are responsible. These views do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine.

A Tribute to Foster Parents - new article by Lawrence P. Adams
Being a foster parent takes a very special type of individual. It takes someone who knows both sides of life. One who knows what it is like to be loved and also knows what it is like to be abused. I am not talking about "guessing" what abuse is like. You have to know the feelings of deep, dark despair that a child feels when he, or she, has been abused and has never been loved. Foster parents in many situations, do not receive the perfect little boy, or the perfect little girl, when they take in a child. There is no perfect little child by the time they reach foster care. The damage has already been done, and it can be very severe. Children have already been physically or sexually abused, neglected, moved numerous times on the foster care system merry-go-round or just plain abandoned. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/articles/509/a-tribute-to-foster-parents.php

Positive Steps for Families in Crisis (and Those Heading That Way) - article by Rita Laws, Ph.D.
It has been said that adoptive families are like any other families, and then some. With the exception of the childbirth experience, they experience the same joys and challenges as all families, with a few additional ones added. For example, people who adopt "high risk children" and children with special needs are more likely to need the help of professionals while raising their kids. They are more likely to have extensive involvement with the medical profession, and with the mental health establishment. For those adopting children with emotional and behavioral problems, adoptive parents are also more likely to deal with the juvenile justice system and with residential treatment facilities. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/articles/510/
positive-steps-for-families-in-crisis-(and-those-heading-that-way).php

An Assorted Fairytale X - new article by Linda Muzzin
When I arrived in San Francisco, I was frightened, and so were my friends. It was big and dark, and people you are warned about as a child seemed to be all around. I was armed with the name of the hospital, the doctor, and my birth certificate. I knew if I could just talk to the doctor, maybe he would remember something that could help me find the life I was meant to have. I was determined to find the truth, and I had not come all this way to be afraid. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/articles/511/an-assorted-fairytale-x.php

Significant Difficulties with Adopted Children - new article by Sandy Glassman
Raising a child such as ours is heartbreaking and sad. Her life is filled with psychological turbulence due to the lack of respect and responsibility of a young and most likely troubled biological mother. Our story is not unusual. In fact, it is very common and seems to be the untold story concerning adopted children. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/articles/512/significant-difficulties-with-adopted-children.php

Read these articles at http://e-Magazine.Adoption.com, and submit your adoption-related articles to editor@adoptionweek.com for publication in Adoption Week e-Magazine and Adoption.com.

By submitting content, you represent that you have the rights to this content and that you give Adoption.com and Adoption Week the right to reprint this content on the Internet, via e-mail, and in print form.

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3. Adoption News

In the news last week...

Long Sentence Sought for Mattheys (NJ)
Prosecutors would like Robert and Brenda Matthey's "complete blamelessness" and "shifting of responsibility" to be considered by the court. The two have been accused of being the cause of their 7-year-old adopted son's death. Read the rest of this article at: http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.nj.com/
news/expresstimes/nj/index.ssf?/base/news-5/1089968815244850.xml.

Infant Safe-Haven Proposal to Get Test Run with Local Voters (MA)
Although the Safe Haven Law has obtained a lot of supporters, there are still certain states yet to pass it as law. Some groups oppose the law for various reasons, from loss of medical and biological information to parents not taking responsibility for their actions. Read the rest of this article at: http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.boston.com/
news/local/articles/2004/07/15/infant_safe_haven_proposal_to_get_test_run_with_local_voters/.

Mother Sues Foster Care Agency over 5-Year-Old Son's Stomping Death (FL)
A five-year-old boy is dead after his father stomps him to death. The boy's mother blames her child's death on the foster care agency who released her son 29-year-old Christopher Bennett despite his extensive criminal record. Read the rest of this article at: http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://courttv.com/news/2004/0715/stomping_ap.html.

Naltrexone Used as Fertility Drug (Australia)
Jodie Gaywood, who once once told she was too fat to adopt, is pregnant after being considered infertile. Her gynecologist prescribed the controversial drug naltrexone, normally used to treat heroin addicts. Gaywood's baby is due to arrive in January. Read the rest of this article at: http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://seven.com.au/todaytonight/story/?id=15625.

Visit News.Adoption.com to read all the headlines.

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4. Adoption Law & Policy News

July 14, 2004

WEEKLY NEWS SUMMARY

Foster/Child Welfare Systems

WASHINGTON: “Overflowing Dockets, Lack of Social Services Frustrate Foster Care Judges” - by Connie Cass
According to a recent survey, judges who hear child abuse/neglect cases say their largest frustration is the lack of drug treatment and basic parenting skills to help parents. More than 2,200 judges who hear these cases responded to a survey by Fostering Results, a nonpartisan public education project financed by The Pew Charitable Trusts. Retired Judge Nancy Salyers of Cook County, Illinois, co-director of Fostering Results, notes that there just are not enough services to deal with parent substance abuse problems. The court system becomes more frustrated when a child cannot be returned to their unsafe home nor become adopted until their parents are given time to rehabilitate themselves. Because of overcrowded dockets, said former Texas district Judge Scott McCown, “You wind up giving minutes to a case when you should give it several hours and you just don't have the hours to give.'' According to the Pew Commission on Children and Foster Care, half of the children in foster care spend an average of about 2 or 3 years in the system.
Midwest News, Thursday, July 1, 2004
http://www.yankton.net/stories/070104/new_20040701025.shtml

The National Center for Adoption Law & Policy is proud to be a partner with the Public Children Services Association of Ohio in the Fostering Results project. For more information on this exciting initiative, the Pew Commission recommendations, and the Fostering Results judicial survey, please visit our website at http://www.law.capital.edu/adoption/fostering_results.htm.

FLORIDA: Opinion: “Clear Signs of Progress in Troubled Foster Care” - News Journal Online
In 1998, Florida passed a law ordering statewide privatization by 2003. A non-profit agency, Community Based Care of Volusia-Flagler Counties (CBC), was contracted to head the foster-care privatization. From the beginning, CBC had problems, including difficulty completing the job for the amount of money the contract provided. Currently, turnover among caseworkers is down and the state has responded to CBC’s concerns by increasing the contract price to $20 million. According to the writer, however, problems are continuing to surface across Florida at an alarming clip, but candidates may still hail foster-care privatization as a success story. Volusia and Flagler counties' experience supports a different conclusion, the writer notes. Even with a reputable provider, an active and an informed Community Alliance, privatization is still struggling, making it a hugely risky gamble with the safety of abused/neglected children at stake.
Daytona Beach News, Monday, July 5, 2004, Opinion Section
http://www.news-journalonline.com/NewsJournalOnline/Opinion/Editorials/03OpOP22070504.htm

INDIANA: “Blacks in Foster Care Disproportionately” - by Eunice Trotter
In Indiana, according to a 2003 Family and Social Services Administration and U.S. Census statistic, about 38 percent of the 5,100 children in foster care are black. State Rep. Bill Crawford, D-Indianapolis, has asked that a study be done to figure out why so many black children are entering into foster care. Carol Spigner, a child nationally known child welfare official, states that many troubled black families are not provided the help they need to get their children back. Many people believe that better training for caseworkers would also help. "Current federal funding mechanisms for child welfare encourage an over-reliance on foster care at the expense of other services that might keep families safely together," said Carol Emig, executive director of the Pew Commission, on Children in Foster Care, a national research group dedicated to the issue.
The Indianapolis Star, Thursday, July 8, 2004
http://www.indystar.com/articles/1/160870-7451-P.html

WEEKLY CASE SUMMARY

Significant Cases

Adoption Subsidies

In re Hennessey-Martin
The Supreme Court of New Hampshire affirmed the appellate court’s ruling that an adoption subsidy would not count as a set-off against the non-custodial parent’s child support obligation, and was not sufficient cause to deviate from the state support guidelines. The Court interpreted RSA chapter 458-C to mean that, in New Hampshire, adoption subsidies qualify as gross income and therefore the petitioner was not entitled to a tax credit. The court also held that the adoption assistance payments do not, in and of themselves, justify a deviation from the child support guidelines under RSA 458-C:5 absent an unsustainable exercise of discretion.
Cite: No. 2003-531, 2004 N.H. LEXIS 120 (N.H. June 30, 2004)
Web link: http://www.courts.state.nh.us/supreme/opinions/2004/whitn088.htm

Adult Adoption

Walls v. Walls
In reversing a ruling of the trial court, the Supreme Court of Georgia held that OCGA §19-8-19(a)(1), which provides that adoption severs all familial ties between the adoptee and his former relatives, cannot be read to extinguish the legal status of “grandparent” held by the third parties in this case. The plaintiff, an adult adoptee, was adopted by his biological mother after the third parties’ (his previous adoptive parents) motions to intervene in his divorce proceeding and to secure temporary custody of his child were sustained. The trial court concluded that the adult adoption proceeding severed all legal ties the adoptive parents had to their former son and therefore they were not a stipulated party permitted to intervene in his divorce proceedings under OCGA §19-7-1(b.1). The Supreme Court of Georgia reversed the trial court’s order because the intervention and order granting the third parties temporary custody had already occurred. The court noted that even if OCGA §19-8-19(a)(1), which affects documents executed prior to the adoption, applies to relationships other than those of the adoptee, it does not affect those “documents” or “instruments” which “expressly include the individual by name.” Here, the child was named in the petition; thus, the statute did not apply in this instance and the third parties’ ties to their grandchild were not severed and they remained entitled to intervene in the divorce proceedings.
Cite: No. S04A0419, 2004 Ga. LEXIS 553 (Ga. July 12, 2004)
Web link: http://www2.state.ga.us/courts/supreme/pdf/s04a0419.pdf

Custody/Third Party Standing

P.B. v. T.H.
The Superior Court of New Jersey affirmed trial court’s ruling, after remand, that a third party had standing in a custody dispute under the test set forth in V.C. v. M.J.B., 163 N.J. 200, 748 A. 2d 539. That case established a four prong test to determine whether a third party had become a psychological parent to a minor. Initially, the trial court determined that the test was not applicable and determined that the correct standard was best interest analysis. Under that standard, the trial court concluded that the third party was the psychological parent of the minor child, thereby entitling her to standing. The Superior Court found error in the trial courts application of the best interest test and remanded the case to the trial court with instructions to apply the four prong test set forth in V.C. v. M.J.B. Under this test, the petitioner must demonstrate the existence of four elements: (1) the biological or adoptive parent consented to, and fostered, the petitioner’s formation and establishment of a parent-like relationship with the child; (2) the petitioner and the child lived together in the same household; (3) the petitioner assumed the obligations of parenthood by taking significant responsibility of the child’s care, education and development, including contributing to the child’s support, without expectation of financial compensation; and (4) the petitioner had been in a parental role for a length of time sufficient to establish with the child a bonded, dependent relationship parental in nature. The trial court deemed the third party to be the psychological parent under this test. Custody and visitation issues were then determined under a best interest standard, with custody awarded to the third party.
Cite: No. A-0726-03T4, 2004 N.J. Super. LEXIS 254 (N.J. July 8, 2004)
Web link: http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/opinions/a0726-03.pdf

Termination of Parental Rights/Process

Fla. Dep't of Children & Families v. F.L.
The Supreme Court of Florida reversed an order of the court of appeals that declared Fla. Stat. §39.806(l)(i), authorizing the filing of petition for termination of parental rights when the parental rights of the parent to a sibling have been terminated, involuntarily unconstitutional. The Supreme Court of Florida found clear and convincing evidence that the biological mother had failed to substantially comply with the conditions stipulated in her case plans for reunification. Due to her noncompliance and the involuntary termination of parental rights to her 6th child, under Fla. Stat. §39.806(l)(i) DCF was authorized to file a petition for the termination of parental right to her 7th child, the child in question. In determining the constitutionality of statute the Court reviews de novo the district court’s decision of unconstitutionality and applies a strict scrutiny standard. The Court held that statute in question is constitutional because it does not facilitate a rebuttable presumption of termination due to the fact that DCF must also prove reunification would be a substantial risk to the child and that termination is the least restrictive way to protect the child. During the termination hearing the burden of proof was unconstitutionally placed upon the biological mother rather than DCF, and therefore the case was remanded for the trial court to apply the constitutional interpretation of Fla. Stat. §39.806(l)(i).
Cite: No. SC03-1602, 2004 Fla. LEXIS 984 (Fl. July 8, 2004)
Web link: http://www.flcourts.org/

Other Cases of Interest

Termination of Parental Rights/Grounds

In the Interest of A.S.W.
The Supreme Court of Missouri reversed the ruling of the trial court to terminate the father’s parental rights under RSMO §211.447 (2000) due to the father’s cognitive disorder resulting from an earlier accident. The Supreme Court of Missouri determined that the trial court failed to meet their burden of producing substantial evidence that additional services would not enable the return of the minor to the father within an ascertainable period of time. The trial court’s finding did not constitute clear, cogent and convincing evidence that grounds existed to terminate the father’s parental rights due to the father’s willingness to accept assistance from his sister and from ongoing parenting programs that would likely build a better parenting support network and lasting parental adjustment.
Cite: No. SC8579, 2004 Mo. LEXIS 89 (Mo. July 1, 2004)
http://www.courts.mo.gov/Courts/PubOpinions.nsf/
0f87ea4ac0ad4c0186256405005d3b8e/0e95028077b4523286256ec3004f2b68?OpenDocument

Walther v. Ark. Dep't of Human Servs.
The Arkansas Court of Appeals affirmed the ruling of the trial court, applying a clear and convincing evidence standard of review as required under Ark. Code Ann. § 9-27-341(b)(3). The trial court found that (1) it was in the best interest of the child to terminate parental rights; and (2) by leaving the State of Arkansas without the child the appellant had abandoned the minor. Under Ark. Code Ann. § 9-27-341(b)(1)(a), if the termination is in the best interest of the child, and the child has been abandoned, the courts have permissible grounds for an involuntary termination of parental rights.
Cite: No. CA03-1282, 2004 Ark. App. LEXIS 463 (Ark App. Ct. June 23, 2004)
http://www.courts.state.ar.us/unpublished/2004a/20040623/ca031282.html

Adoption/Rights of Biological Relatives

In the Interest of D.C.
The Kansas Court of Appeals determined that under K.S.A. §38-1584 the district court was well within its authority to review the reasonable efforts of the Kansas Department of Social and Rehabilitative Services and the contracting agencies’ efforts in placement determination. The court concluded that when viewing sources for placement of a minor, primary consideration must be given under the statute to granting custody to a relative of the child. In determining whether an agency fulfilled its “reasonable efforts” obligations in the placement of a minor, the district court reviews findings of fact for substantial competent evidence of such efforts. Here, due to the agency’s failure to send the Interstate Compact request for an adoptive placement home study to the relatives after being notified of their interest in adopting, and its failure to comply with statutory notice requirements, the Kansas Court of Appeals affirmed the district court’s ruling that the agency failed to implement their policies and procedures equitably in an attempt to find the best possible placement for the minor child.
Cite: No. 91,419, 2004 Kan. App. LEXIS 683 (Kan. App. Ct. July 9, 2004)
Web link: http://www.kscourts.org/kscases/ctapp/2004/20040709/91419.htm

Adoption/ICWA

In re Gerardo A.
The California Court of Appeals reversed the ruling of the trial court, and determined that the department improperly failed to serve its completed request-for-confirmation form, along with ICWA notice, to two vital tribes. The court determined that the department, under the ICWA notice provisions, complied with the letter requirement under 25 U.S.C. § 1912(a), but did not satisfy their legal obligation to provide a complete notice of Indian heritage information it possessed to the tribes entitled to such. Due to the department’s omission, the juvenile court erred in finding at the dispositional hearing that ICWA did not pertain to the children in question.
Cite: No. F044674, 2004 Cal. App. LEXIS 1001 (Cal. App. June 24, 2004)
Web link: http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/documents/F044674.PDF

In re C.F.
The Iowa Court of Appeals, under de novo review, affirmed the ruling of the juvenile court that it was proper to place the minor children in question with a settlement foster home. Due to the fact that one of the children was undisputedly an “Indian child”, under ICWA, 25 U.S.C. § 1915(a), and Iowa Code § 232B.9 (2003), a preference was to be given to her placement with an Indian family, unless there was good cause shown to the contrary. The Court determines whether good cause exists by the best interest of the child, the wishes of the biological parents, the suitability of persons for placement, and the child’s ties to the tribe. The Iowa Court of Appeals determined, after weighing these factors, that it was proper to place the minor child of Indian descent with the settlement home, and that it would be in the best interest of the children to remain at that location together.
Cite: No. 4-341/03-0961, 2004 Iowa App. LEXIS 798 (Iowa App. Ct. June 23, 2004)
Web link: http://www.judicial.state.ia.us/appeals/opinions/20040623/03-0961.asp

Assisted Reproduction Issues

In re C.K.G.
The Tennessee Court of Appeals affirmed, using a de novo standard, the ruling of the juvenile court that the surrogate female (petitioner) was the legal mother of three minor children, with all rights, privileges and obligations as if she were the biological mother. The biological father contended that under Tennessee Code Ann. § 36-2-302 and Tennessee Code Ann. § 36-1-102(10), the surrogate female was not the “mother” of the children and therefore had no legal rights as to the children. Jurisdictions are split on which test to apply in this situation. Here, the appeals court determined that Tennessee statutes did not control and that the trial court did not err when looking to the intent of the parties. Both the biological father and the surrogate mother signed contracts and agreed to perceive the other as legal parents at the time of the in vitro procedure. Therefore, the surrogate mother was to be viewed as a legal parent under Tennessee law, and the biological father was stopped from denying her status as such. The Court of Appeals ruled that, applying the “best interest” test, the juvenile court properly granted the surrogate mother primary custody.
Cite: No. M2003-01320-COA-R3-JV, 2004 Tenn. App. LEXIS 394 (Tenn. App. Ct. June 22, 2004)
Web link: http://www.tsc.state.tn.us/OPINIONS/TCA/Ca2qtr2004.htm

Credit: National Center for Adoption Law & Policy
Link: http://www.law.capital.edu/adoption

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5. ADOPTION BOOK CLUB

Love You Forever
A young woman holds her newborn son and looks at him lovingly. Softly she sings to him: "I'll love you forever I'll like you for always as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." So begins the story that has touched the hearts of millions of Americans.

For more information on this book, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/ADP40264.html.

Find 1,000+ other adoption products at AdoptionShop.com.

To share your favorite adoption book with others, join the Adoption Book Club on AdoptionLists.com at http://lists.adoption.com/index.php?action=lists&listname=adoptionbookclub&listnumber=6.

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6. Meet New Hopeful Adoptive Parents

Tim & Chris (GA)
Hello, we're Tim & Chris Clark from a beautiful Atlanta, GA suburb. Cuddling, reading stories, and playing catch are all things that we can't wait to do with our first child. We look forward to the everyday gifts and challenges that a child brings! To view Tim and Chris' profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db12450.html.

Doug & Kimberlee (TX)
Beginning with a single kiss, we have spent the last four years together with intense and mutual love for one another. We have built a solid foundation on respect, admiration, patience and commitment, and our faith continues to strengthen and guide our marriage daily. We very much look forward to providing the blessings that we have been given by our families, our beliefs, and our traditions to this precious child. To view Doug and Kimberlee's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db12904.html.

Tony & Tanya (WA)
We admire your strength and courage in choosing adoption for your child. We think your choice to give this gift of life is the most generous, selfless act anyone could do. It is very important to us that you know that if you decide to place your baby with us, they will grow up knowing just how very much you love them and what an important part of their life you are. To view Tony and Tanya's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db12421.html.

Greg & Christine (NY)
We understand that it is your goal to secure a loving, nurturing home for your child. We respect your courage as you make the most important decision of your life. We hope that by reading about us you will realize that we can offer your child a warm, wonderful, caring and loving home. We know that you are putting your child first and that is to be honored. To view Greg and Christine's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db12908.html.

Tom & Chris (NJ)
In addition to our faith, our heritage is important to us: we want our children to know their heritage, too. It's important to us that our child knows you to share traditions and culture. We hope for open adoption, and an ongoing relationship with you. To view Tom and Chris's profile, visit http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db10729.html.

Are you pregnant? Visit ParentProfiles.com (a service of Adoption Profiles, LLC) to find the right adoptive parents for your baby.

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7. Featured Waiting Child

Dennis is a tall, thin 17-year-old who loves to play basketball. He plays forward guard, and his desire is to get a basketball scholarship for college. He is intelligent and articulate with some profound insights. Dennis would like a family to call his own.


For more information on Dennis, visit http://photolisting.adoption.com/14489.html.

Photolisting.Adoption.com is a free community service of Adoption.com featuring more than 1,700 children awaiting loving, permanent homes. Add your agency's waiting children to the most popular adoption website, and help them find loving homes faster. E-mail exchange@adoptablekids.com for info.

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8. Adoption Gem

9. Adoption Buzz

Adopting After Infertility: - "Real" Mom
http://forums.adoption.com/t158129.html

Adoptees Forum: - Birth Mother Found But Won't Acknowledge Me
http://forums.adoption.com/t143642,15,1.html

Reunions: - First Contact with 17-Year-Old B-son. . .HELP!
http://forums.adoption.com/t154831.html

Legal Issues: Name Change of a Child without Adoption
http://forums.adoption.com/t157595.html

General Adoptive Parent Support: - Were You at the Hospital, and How Were You Treated?
http://forums.adoption.com/t157821,15,1.html

Precocious Puberty from FAS & Cocaine Exposure
http://forums.adoption.com/t157302.html

If any of the links above do not work, visit Adoption.com for direct links to these discussions.

For more online adoption discussions, visit Forums.Adoption.com.

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10. The Adoption Blog

"Camp-to-adopt" programs are often promoted just before summer every year. The idea is to bring older children from overseas to live with host families in America. A bond is usually formed, and the hope is for the children to be adopted by these families.

If you have been a host parent for a similar program and would like to share your story, please do so at Blogs.Adoption.com. If you have questions or might be interested in hosting a child, visit Blogs.Adoption.com.

Check out the blog entries at the bottom right of our home page or visit http://Blogs.Adoption.com and express your views!

For a list of our favorite adoption websites, visit Adoptions.Adoption.com.

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11. Adoption Destination

InternationalAdoption.org is the Internet's authoritative destination for international adoption. You will find fact sheets, adoption information, travel information, culture and heritage, maps, weather, books, currency exchange rates, periodicals, news and much more for dozens of different countries with active international adoption programs.

This week, the country of focus is Kazakhstan.

The parents must be with the child for a minimum of two weeks in Kazakhstan prior to the adoption. There is no residency requirement after the adoption, however, Kazakhstani law provides for a 10-day waiting period before the adoption is final. The post-adoption birth certificate and Kazakhstani passport cannot be obtained until the adoption is final.

To learn more about Kazakhstan's government, geography, and communication information, or its history, visit http://Kazakhstan.Adoption.com.

Read a Kazakhstan adoption-related article at http://library.adoption.com/
Kazakhstan/International-Adoption-Kazakhstan/article/1382/1.html.

To chat with parents who have adopted or are considering adopting from Kazakhstan, visit http://forums.adoption.com/f21.html.

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12. Just For The Fun Of It

"Cottage Cheeses!"

We haven't been to church since before we adopted our daughter. I realized that is was time to go back and teach my daughter about religion when she saw a school bus out on Sunday and wanted to know who went to school on the weekend. I explained that it was for Sunday school, where you learn about God and Jesus. She exclaimed, "Cottage Cheeses! I love Cottage Cheeses".

We went back to church last week!

Contributed by: Paula Skelly

E-mail your humorous story or joke to editor@adoptionweek.com.

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13. Featured Adoption Professional

DeColores Adoptions International
Lake Charles, LA
Phone: (337) 855-7398
Decoladopt@aol.com

Services: • Adoption Agencies • International Adoption
Countries: • China • Guatemala • Russia • Ukraine

For more information on DeColores Adoptions International, visit http://www.DeColoresAdoptions.com/.

Find adoption agencies, attorneys and other adoption professionals at Directory.Adoption.com.

To see your ad here, visit http://directory.adoption.com/upgrade.php.

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14. AdoptionShop.com Pick

Adoptive Families Magazine plus "Best of the Best" - Only $19.95
Order Adoptive Families and also get the "Best of the Best"--both for the NEW low price of $19.95 (a $56.60 retail value). Adoptive Families magazine is the nation's leading resource for families before, during, and after adoption. Each issue offers information, connection, and shared experiences for families touched by adoption. When you sign up for one year (6 issues), you also get the "Best of the Best." With so much to gain and so little to lose, why not try Adoptive Families today?

For more information on this product, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/ADF00002.html.


For more adoption products, visit AdoptionShop.com.

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15. Speak Out

My name is Lisa, and I am a rarity in the adoption world. I am both a birth mother and an adopted child. I was adopted by a young couple who latter adopted my brother (and he truly is my brother). I am also a sober alcoholic, who had been sober almost 2 years when I got pregnant. I was 19 when I gave birth to the most perfect child in the whole world. Had I not known how wonderful adoption was and not loved my perfect child, I would not have been able to make the choice that I made. This choice was the second most important choice that I could make. The first decision was to go ahead with the pregnancy. He is an adult now and in college. I have contact with his mother, and that is the thing that I treasure most, after my sobriety. I know that he has doubts that I love him because I "gave" him up. What he doesn't understand is that I let God take his soul to the people who were his parents. I was just the vessel to give him life. He has the parents that were to raise him. I hope that some day he will want to meet me. I would someday like to meet my birth mother, just to let her know just how grateful that I am that she gave me life. I know that I owe my life to her strong spirit. I found out through the agency that handled my adoption that I was conceived during a rape. Had it not been for her great courage in the early sixties, I would not be here. I just want her to know that I understand why.

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Re: An Assorted Fairytale VIII by Linda Muzzin - When I started reading this article about her sister, I thought Linda M. knew me and was writing about me, except that my sister was my parents' biological daughter and neither of them thought, or acted, like she could do no wrong, and I couldn't "escape" until I was 15 years old. The situation was so horrible numerous times whenever my dad was at work, that by the time he got home from work, I had been such a horrible monster, and my mother would not let up on him until he lost control and came after me. My mother was an alcoholic and eventually died from cirrhosis. Now at the ages of 60 and 55, just this year my sister and I have talked more with each other and closer than we have ever had our entire lives, and we haven't seen each other in 14 years. I too used to pray about being rescued by my biological parents and never, ever fit in as a family member, and never knew I was adopted until I was almost 16 years old, and upon finding out that I was adopted and finding puzzle pieces finally fitting together, I turned on my family, and they couldn't do anything with me and ended up shipping me off to a convent/boarding school, and it didn't stop there. Not only was I fed up with being abused, I also felt betrayed for being lied to all my life. My parents adopted me and tried to mold me all my life into the daughter they had lost at the age of 4. My husband refused to believe me when I told him this, until he heard it right out of my dad's mouth. Thankfully, the Lord didn't allow me to go very far until He knocked some sense into me. And I'm living proof that not all abused children become abusive parents--just ask any of my three children, my youngest is 25.

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I'm 36 and have been searching via the internet for my biological parents for about 5 years. I had been to many adoption search sites and come up empty. The strangest thing happened once. A young woman contacted me through one of the sites (name of woman and site forgotten) who was in search of an older brother given up for adoption. I fit the profile of D.O.B., place of birth, and strangely the person she was searching for was named Craig. I told her that I was called Craig by the people at the adoption agency, but she said she had been informed he still went by that name. If that woman is still searching, please contact me, I think I'm your brother and would like to talk more to find out if I really am. My name is Todd, born 11/10/1967 in Kansas City, MO and the last name of the officiating attorney was Azar. My e-mail is shamfrog@hotmail.com Good luck to all searching for their own relatives, and God bless to all who work so hard on this great site. - Todd
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Hello, my name is Mary. I am looking for my birth nephew who was born either in Safford or Tucson, Arizona in December 1982 or 1985. My nephew was put up for adoption because his young mother was a ward of the state. My family has never stopped thinking about him and hope to some day meet him. His birth name was Julian Gonzales. He had blondish-brown hair and the biggest bright blue eyes you could ever see. I also know he was born with some kind of health problems when he was born; he may have been born early. His birth mother was diabetic and suffered from lumpas. She has since passed away. His birth father and family are very much hoping to find him. He also has two half brothers who live in my home town of Safford, Arizona. Julian, I want you to know that we love you and very much want you to be part of our family. I pray to God every night to help me find you. Grandma is passing away and has always asked me to please find you; she would like to meet you before she goes. If anyone can help me or has any information, please contact me at maryfamilyfriends@msn.com. Thank you.
- Mary

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16. Adoption Poetry

17. Adoption Calendar

Chat Schedule:

Sunday:
Reunion Support Group Chat with Loretta in the Search and Reunion room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern

Monday:
Join Dr. Art Becker-Weidman in the hosted chat room at 2 pm Pacific, 3 pm Mountain, 4 pm Central, 5 pm Eastern and ask him questions on attachment therapy and treating children with trauma-attachment disorders.

Adoptee Chat with Thea in the hosted chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern. Thea is a caring adoptee that has recently reunited with her birth mother.

Tuesday:
Birth mom chat with Angelwings. Angel is a birth mom and adoptee. Her chat is held in the BirthMother.chat room at 4 pm Pacific, 5 pm Mountain, 6 pm Central, 7 pm Eastern

Birth father's General Support Chat in the hosted chat room with adoptee and birth father, Terry. All are invited at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm central, 9 pm Eastern

Wednesday:
Pre- and adoptive parent chat with JJ and friends - Help as you begin the adoption process. Hosted in Adoptive Parents chat room at 5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern.

Parenting issues for adoptive/foster parents with Dimasmom in FosterCare chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

Thursday:
Evening with Colleen Buckner, search expert, in Search and Reunion chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

Friday:
If you are having a "limbo" type experience with your reunion, come and talk it over with those who've "been there-done that" themselves. Join co-hosting birth mothers, April and Judy, in the Search and Reunion room on Fridays: 5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern.

Saturday:
Older child adoption/foster care behavioral issues with Jerry in FosterCare chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

For a listing of times and descriptions and to attend scheduled chats, or join the live chat, visit Forums.Adoption.com/Chat.

Adoption Events:

Lake County General Meeting - Topic: The Adoption Toolbox ­ An exchange of ideas about how to make all aspects of adoption work
July 27 (7:30 pm ­ 9:30 pm)
Deepwood North Apartments, Rental Office/Community Room, 8100 Deepwood Blvd. (off Rt. 84) Mentor, Ohio. Follow signs to rental office
Adoption Network Cleveland
Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birth parents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org.

International Adoption Support Meeting
July 28 (7:00 pm ­ 8:30 pm)
Euclid Public Library, Erie Room, 631 E. 222nd. St., Euclid, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
Who can attend: Adult adoptees, birth parents, siblings, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, professionals and anyone who is interested in lifelong adoption issues. No registration or membership is required to attend. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org.

Movie Night and Discussion of "Tarzan"
July 30 (6:00 pm)
Adoption Network Cleveland, 1667 East 40th St. Suite B-1, Cleveland, Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland
RSVP: Free and open to anyone who wishes to attend. For more information, contact Adoption Network Cleveland at (216) 881-7511 or on the web at http://www.AdoptionNetwork.org.

ABC's of International Adoption
July 31 (2:00 pm)
Wichita Public Library, Westlink Branch, 8515 Bekemeyer, Wichita, KS
Dillon International, Inc.
During this free informational meeting, attendees will be given an overview of the process of international adoption, individual country requirements and adoption costs. In addition, they will be given information on waiting children from South Korea, China, India, Ukraine, Vietnam, Haiti, and Guatemala. Please call Melissa at (316) 721-3279 or e-mail kendall.grier@juno.com for details, or visit http://www.dillonadopt.com/adoption%20workshops.htm.

For local listings, regional seminars, and many other adoption events, visit Events.Adoption.com.

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Call For Content
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