1. ANNOUNCEMENT

ADOPTION.COM UNVEILS NEW HOME PAGE
The Adoption.com home page has been re-designed to help our visitors more easily find what they are looking for and improve the user experience. You will soon see this new look and feel on the sub-pages of the site. Visit http://www.Adoption.com, and let editor@adoptionmedia.com know what you think of our new home page. We'd love to know what you think.

LET ADOPTION.COM REPRINT YOUR BOOK ONLINE
Have you written an adoption-related book? Adoption.com would like to talk to you about licensing your book to reprint on the Adoption.com website. If you are interested, please contact editor@adoptionmedia.com.

CALL FOR ADOPTION-RELATED PHOTOS
Adoption.com is developing a new section on its website of adoption-related photos and is looking for photos from families and individuals touched by adoption. Please e-mail photos or questions to editor@adoptionmedia.com. We can provide a physical adress if you would like to send the actual photos.

CALL FOR ADOPTION-RELATED RECIPES
Adoption.com is developing a new section for recipies that are connected to adoption. Did you adopt from China and now have a favorite Chinese recipe? Did you adopt your child from New Orleans and now have a great cajun recipe? Does your adoptive family have a favorite recipe you would like to share? Please send your recipes to editor@adoptionmedia.com.

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2. NEW ARTICLES

The views expressed by the authors are solely their own, and for which the authors are responsible. These views do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine.

Baby Nate - new article contributed by Brad Ballard
It was only days after Nathaniel’s birth that we found out the birthfather was contesting the adoption. For four intense months we went to court dates, hearing testimony that caused us to feel confident that the judge would terminate the birthfather’s rights and the adoption would continue. Even the birthmother testified on our behalf. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=393

The Bias Against Birth Mothers - new article contributed by Nancy Verrier
It incenses me that so little attention is paid to the loss and pain suffered by both mothers and children in adoption. There is still a belief that mothers can be substituted without any notice being taken by the child. There is a great deal of denial about the harm done in any practice which separates mothers and children. If we acknowledge that children notice and are affected by the substitution of mothers in adoption, then perhaps we will have to acknowledge that children are affected by the absence of their mothers in other situations, also. We can no longer pretend that just because adults have good reasons for what they do, children do not suffer. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=394

To Katmandu, with Love: An Adoptive Mom's Journal...Continued - new article by Cynthia Yoder
Last Friday, I met a woman named Patricia, who created a meditation center in one of the rooms of her 18th century farmhouse. To one side of the room, she has an alter full of candles, silk flowers, and pictures. It was created by a Hindu visitor to the center, and since we’re adopting through Nepal, I paid special attention. I wonder: will our child be Hindu? Buddhist? We spoke of doing a meditation group for children, drawing from many traditions. Our child will expand our hearts in so many ways… http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=395

Searching for Siblings - new article contributed by Jim M.
I even had my dad sign the form for the biological parent application for revelation of county of adoption, with the state of Iowa. I have made several phone calls to the Iowa state dept of health, several letters have been sent back and forth from me to them and them to me, still without a solid lead. I live in Indiana. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/article.php?articleid=396

Read these articles at http://Magazine.Adoption.com, and submit your adoption-related articles to editor@adoptionmedia.com for publication in Adoption Week e-Magazine and Adoption.com.

By submitting content, you represent that you have the rights to this content and that you give Adoption.com and Adoption Week the right to reprint this content on the internet, via e-mail, and in print form.

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3. ADOPTION NEWS

Woman Finds Birth Parents (MI)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.lsj.com/news/local/031215_reunite_1b-2b.html

Life After Infertility (AZ)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/arizonaliving/articles/1219resolve19.html

Adults Who Were Adopted Want Nevada Records to be Opened (NV)
http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/nevada/2003/dec/17/121710153.html

Foreign Face in the Mirror (Australia)
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/12/16/1071336957087.html

Abandoned Chinese Babies Find Love from Foreign Parents (China)
http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/200312/18/eng20031218_130642.shtml

Adoption Fills the Void for Many Valley Couples (AZ)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/arizonaliving/articles/1219resolve19side.html

Receptionist Gets 10 Years in Adoption Scams (PA)
http://www.adoption.com/includes/frame.php?url=http://www.centredaily.com/mld/centredaily/news/7496431.htm

If any of the links to the news articles do not work, visit http://www.adoption.com/news for a list of headlines.

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4. ADOPTION LAW & POLICY NEWS

December 16, 2003

WEEKLY NEWS SUMMARY

FLORIDA: “CENTRAL FLORIDA GETS NEW 24 HR ADOPTION INFO HOTLINE”
A new adoption hotline is offered to Floridian parents in a crisis pregnancy. An educational program and focus groups supported by the Dr. P Phillips Foundation and executed by two agencies noted the need for a new vehicle to disperse information on adoption. Mothers in crisis pregnancies might use a hotline manned by crisis counselors to discuss adoption placement with an understanding counselor, as well as general adoption information. Objectives for provision of the hotline include dispelling myths surrounding adoption, and presenting adoption as an option for interested mothers in an unplanned pregnancy.
The Orlando Business Journal, Wednesday, December 10, 2003
http://orlando.bizjournals.com/orlando/stories/2003/12/08/daily27.html

FLORIDA: “LAWMAKERS WORK TO INCREASE ADOPTION OF BLACK CHILDREN”
Three state senators will work with civic groups and religious groups to recruit foster and adoptive parents. Of the children in the foster care system in the State of Florida, over half are black; the new effort in recruitment is prompted by the DCF campaign for promotion of adoption announced by the governor last month.
Associated Press, Tuesday December 9, 2003
http://www.click10.com/news/2694710/detail.html

NEW YORK: “REFORMING FOSTER CARE” - by Kendra Hurley
The efforts begun in the mid-90’s at Mayor Giuliani’s behest to localize child welfare services are still facing hurdles, but results are evident. The shift was one from a city-wide foster care placement program to one that encourages placements close to the birthparent home. The overhaul intended to reduce hassle, allow for involvement by respondent parents working to maintain and repair relationships with their children, and to encourage a more team-oriented support system nearby the zone where the family lived. Now 75% of kids placed by the Administration for Children Services are in a foster home in the same borough in which their birthparent home is situated, up from 30% in 1998. Disadvantages to the new system include lack of available services in the dispersed locales, and rigidity in the system that doesn’t allow for special circumstances that require distance between family and foster child.
The Gotham Gazette, Monday, December 8, 2003
http://www.gothamgazette.com/article/feature-commentary/20031208/202/797

WASHINGTON D.C. “BUNNING INTRODUCES LEGISLATION TO PROVIDE PERMANENT TAX RELIEF TO FAMILIES WHO ADOPT” - by Sen. Jim Bunning Press Release
The two-year old tax relief law for adoptive parents is due to sunset in 2010, and Sen. Bunning has introduced legislation to make the permanent the protection of the existing rates. If expiration occurs, the tax credit in 2011 will be cut in half.
Press Release, November 22, 2003
http://www.bunning.senate.gov/index.cfm?FuseAction=PressReleases.Detail&PressRelease_id=968&Month=11&Year=2003

“GIRL SENDS THOUSANDS OF GIFTS TO FOSTER KIDS” - Associated Press
In a project she calls “Children to Children,” a 13 year old girl sends stuffed animals along with a personal message written to kids placed in foster care. Freddie Mac, Home Depot, Southern Management Companies, Oprah, Rosie O’Donnell and the Caring Institute have helped Mackenzie Snyder send 28,000 stuffed friends to foster kids; Mackenzie hopes to reach EVERY foster kid in America someday, and is currently on the hunt for a donation of duffel bags in which stuffed animals are delivered.
MSNBC News, Friday, December 12, 2003
http://msnbc.msn.com/Default.aspx?id=3692982&p1=0

MICHIGAN: “COUPLE URGE FEDERAL JUDGE TO ORDER 2 CHILDREN RETURNED; PAIR GAINED THEN LOST ADOPTION IN STATE CASES” - by Jack Kresnak
A couple chosen as foster parents for two young girls intended to adopt, while relatives unknown to the girls prepared to be foster parents, also intending adoption. One county judge approved the foster couple’s adoption eight months after placement, and the relatives appealed in a different county, gaining custody of the girls. A characteristic of the Adoption Code in Michigan allows an equally ranked judge to overturn a previous judge’s decision from a different county. This circumstance has required the Federal Court to step in to review the proceedings, in which the foster couple was not permitted to participate in the hearing that resulted in the removal of their adopted children.
Detroit Free Press, Thursday December 11, 2003
http://www.freep.com/news/childrenfirst/nadopt11_20031211.htm

FLORIDA: “CORAL SPRINGS ADOPTION AGENCY CONTESTS SHUTDOWN ORDER FROM STATE”
The Department of Children and Families ordered a shut-down of the Coral Springs Adoption Agency for the activities of an employee connected with baby-trafficking. DCF exercised its discretion to suspend the licensure of an agency that threatens the safety and welfare of the public, according to DCF officials. An attorney representing the agency noted the lack of an administrative hearing prior to the revocation of license, and that the agency is open for operation. However, adoptive parents awaiting finalization of adoptions (many in Guatemala,) are exploring other means to ensure the adoptions underway are not interrupted.
The Sun Sentinel, Thursday December 11, 2003
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-ciar11dec11,0,3180418.story?coll=sfla-news-broward

WEEKLY CASE SUMMARY

Significant Cases

Termination of Parental Rights-Appeals From Orders of Termination

IN RE B.R.W.
The Okalahoma Court of Appeals reversed a lower court’s order which denied the biological father and stepmother’s motion to terminate the parental rights of the child’s biological mother without her consent and declare the child eligible for adoption. In reversing, the appellate court concluded that the lower court committed a “fundamental error” by failing to appoint an independent attorney for the child to determine the child’s eligibility for adoption without parental consent. The mother argued that this issue should not be decided on appeal because the issue was not raised below, however the court held that a “fundamental error” was an exception to the rule that issues not raised below could not be decided on appeal.
Cite: 78 P.3d 1243 (Okla. Civ. App. 2003)
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=ok&vol=/appeals/2003/&invol=438102

Termination of Parental Rights - Process

IN RE H.S.W.C.-B & S.E.C.-B
The Supreme Court of Pennsylvania reversed the order of the superior court quashing York County Children and Youth Services’ appeal of the denial of its petition to change the goal from reunification to adoption and to involuntarily terminate the mother’s parental rights. The Court concluded that all orders dealing with custody, visitation, termination, and the change of goals from reunification to termination are final when entered and thus appealable. The Court further concluded that a stay should not be ordered and the underlying proceedings halted pending the appeal.
Cite: No. J-85-2003, 2003 Pa. LEXIS 2198 (Pa. Nov. 25, 2003)
Web link: http://www.courts.state.pa.us/OpPosting/Supreme/out/J-85-2003mo.pdf

Termination of Parental Rights – Appeals of Orders of Termination Rights of Grandparents and Other Biological Relatives

IN RE T.S.
A California Court of Appeals for the Third Appellate District affirmed the juvenile court’s order terminating a biological father’s and mother’s parental rights. The court held there was substantial evidence to find the children are “adoptable” by the children’s paternal grandparents. The court also found that the grandparents need not undergo a physical examination in order to qualify to adopt the children and that the grandparents’ ages (58 and 61) were not legal impediments to the adoption.
Cite: No. C043419, 2003 Cal. App. LEXIS 1801 (Cal Ct. App. Dec. 4, 2003).
Web link: http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/documents/C043419.DOC

Other Cases of Interest

Termination of Parental Rights – Appeals of Orders of Termination

EVERETT V. EVERETT
A North Carolina Court of Appeals reversed the trial court’s order which relieved the State social services agency from facilitating reunification efforts between the minor children and their biological father. The appellate court held that such reunification efforts could not be terminated because the record did not show the efforts were futile.
Cite: No. COA03-316, 2003 WL 22844441 (N.C. Ct. App. Dec. 2, 2003).
Web link: http://www.aoc.state.nc.us/www/public/coa/opinions/2003/030316-1.htm

IN RE DHERMY
A North Carolina Court of Appeals affirmed the trial court’s order terminating a mother’s parental rights and concluded that, despite trial court’s failure to appoint a guardian ad litem, there was still clear and convincing evidence to substantiate termination of parental rights.
Cite: No. COA03-71, 2003 WL 22844240 (N.C. Ct. App. Dec. 2, 2003).
Web link: http://www.aoc.state.nc.us/www/public/coa/opinions/2003/030071-1.htm

STATE V. T.L.C.
A Tennessee Court of Appeals vacated and remanded the trial court’s termination of a father’s parental rights and concluded that the trial court’s finding that the child was in all reasonable probability subject to abuse or neglect by the father was against the great weight of the evidence.
Cite: No. M2003-00509-COA-R3-JV, 2003 Tenn. App. LEXIS 848 (Tenn. Ct. App. Dec. 3, 2003)
Web link: http://www.tsc.state.tn.us/OPINIONS/TCA/034/TLC.opn

IN RE MUIR
A Tennessee Court of Appeals vacated and remanded the trial court’s order denying the petition of a biological mother and her new husband seeking to terminate the parental rights of the biological father. The trial court had previously held that the biological mother and new husband had not established by clear and convincing evidence that the biological father had abandoned the child. However, the appellate court held that it was required to vacate and remand because the trial court’s order because the trial court failed to make the specific findings of fact and conclusions of law as required by Tenn. Code Ann. § 36-1-113(k).
Cite: No. M2002-02963-COA-R3-CV, 2003 Tenn. App. LEXIS 831 (Tenn. App. Nov. 25, 2003).
Web link: http://www.tsc.state.tn.us/OPINIONS/TCA/PDF/034/Muir.pdf

IN RE A.R.M.F
A Pennsylvania Superior Court upheld a lower court’s decision that involuntarily terminated a couple’s parental rights to their two daughters, finding that under a relevant State statute the agency proved that parents demonstrated a continuing inability to care for the children through lack of judgment, martial instability, and refusal to seek counseling. Furthermore, the appellate court found the agency met their burden of proof in presenting evidence that the children had been removed from the home for a statutory period of time and that termination would be in the children’s best interest.
Cite: No. 1046 EDA 2003, 2003 PA Super 469 (Pa. Super. Ct. Dec. 2, 2003).
Web link: http://www.superior.court.state.pa.us/opinions/a28044_03.pdf

IN RE AMANDA B.
A Court of Appeals of Oregon reversed a lower court’s decision terminating a mother’s parental rights , finding that the State failed to carry its burden of demonstrating that the mother was an unfit parent. Under a relevant State statute, the appellate court did not find persuasive evidence of unfitness when considering the mother’s mental health at the time of the trial because the mother had been sober for 380 days and she had substantially met all the requirements of the service agreement she entered to result in reunification of her children.
Cite: Nos. J000777 & J000778, 2003 WL 22810312 (Or. Ct. App. Nov. 26, 2003)
Web link: http://www.publications.ojd.state.or.us/A119862.htm

IN RE S.E.L.
A Texas Court of Appeals affirmed the trial court’s order terminating a mother’s parental rights. The appellate court found that the trial court correctly determined that termination was in the best interests of the child due to the mother’s drug use and unstable lifestyle.
Cite: No. 13-03-213-CV, 2003 Tex. App. LEXIS 10184 (Tex. Ct. App. Dec. 4, 2003).
Web link: http://www.13thcoa.courts.state.tx.us/opinions/htmlopinion.asp?OpinionId=13067

Credit: National Center for Adoption Law & Policy
Link: http://www.law.capital.edu/adoption

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5. ADOPTION BOOK CLUB

WHY ME? ENTERING FOSTER CARE
This book deals with the trauma a child experiences when becoming a foster child and other sensitive matters such as child safety. The book is designed to help children in foster care cope with their new way of life by answering some of the questions that play so heavily on their hearts. The book helps children see that they have every right to feel safe and secure, to be happy, and to feel good; to see that they can make new friends, get help from their teachers when needed, and learn to make the best of their new home.

For more information on this book, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/ADP11733.html.

Find 1,400+ other adoption products at adoptionshop.com.

To share your favorite adoption book with others, join the Adoption Book Club on AdoptionLists.com at http://adoptionlists.com/index.php?action=lists&listname=adoptionbookclub.

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6. MEET NEW HOPEFUL ADOPTIVE PARENTS

Outdated material has been removed. Please visit ParentProfiles.com.

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7. FEATURED WAITING CHILD

Ashley is a friendly, outgoing child. She interacts appropriately with adults and peers and is very sociable. Ashley continues on medication for depression and oppositional behaviors. Ashley wants to be adopted, and really wants a permanent home. She will require ongoing therapy to adjust to a new family. Ashley would like a two parent family and would enjoy other children in the home. She requires a lot of support and attention from a family. While the adopting family can have other children, they must be aware she will require a lot of their time. Ashley responds well in a family situation with structure and stability.

Photolisting.Adoption.com is a free community service of Adoption.com featuring more than 1,700 children awaiting loving, permanent homes. Add your agency's waiting children to the most popular adoption website, and help them find loving homes faster. E-mail exchange@adoptablekids.com for info.

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8. SUCCESSFUL ADOPTION

After about one month on parentprofiles.com, our son's birthmother contacted us and we matched with her a couple of weeks later. Our son was born six weeks later, and we are now getting ready to finalize the adoption. We couldn't be happier.

Mike & Conny

If you are hoping to adopt, visit http://Profiles.Adoption.com today to start building your online profile.

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9. ADOPTION GEM

10. ADOPTION BUZZ

Adoption Poetry: - An Empty Stocking
http://forums.adoption.com/t127142.html

Birthfamily Post Relinquishment: Healing, Recovery, and Success: - A Birth Mother's Love??
http://forums.adoption.com/t125713.html

International Adoption Travel: - Travel with Newly Adopted Children
http://forums.adoption.com/t126322.html

Birthmother Support: - How Do You Know It's A Good Adoption?
http://forums.adoption.com/t126502.html

General Adoptive Parent Support: - Child Gender Preferences
http://forums.adoption.com/t126760.html

If any of the links above do not work, visit Adoption.com for direct links to these discussions.

For more online adoption discussions, visit Forums.Adoption.com.

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11. ADOPTION SITE SPOTLIGHT

This week, our adoption spotlight is shining on: Jewelry.Adoption.com.

If you are looking for that special gift to give a loved one: birth mother, birth sibling, adoptee, adoptive parent, foster parent, etc, visit Jewelry.Adoption.com. Here, you will find all types of jewelry, from pendants, to necklaces, bracelets, rings, and other beautiful things!

For a list of our favorite adoption websites, visit Adoptions.Adoption.com.

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12. ADOPTION DESTINATION

InternationalAdoption.org is the internet's authoritative destination for international adoption. You will find fact sheets, adoption information, travel information, culture and heritage, maps, weather, books, currency exchange rates, periodicals, news and much more for dozens of different countries with active international adoption programs.

This week, the country of focus is Colombia

Colombia was one of the three countries that emerged from the collapse of Gran Colombia in 1830 (the others being Ecuador and Venezuela). A 40-year insurgent campaign to overthrow the Colombian Government escalated during the 1990s, undergirded in part by funds from the drug trade.


To learn more about Colombia's government, geography, and communication information, or its history, visit Colombia.Adoption.com.

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13. JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT

THE MOTHER OF JESUS

A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

E-mail your humorous story or joke to editor@adoptionmedia.com.

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14. FEATURED ADOPTION PROFESSIONAL

Adoption Attorney Stephen W. Hayes
Waukesha, WI
Toll Free: (800) 372-3020
Phone: (262) 798-8220
swh@tsglaw.com

Adoption attorney with over 30 years of experience. Birthmother support and counseling available. Working with families and birthmothers to provide a positive adoption.

Services: • Adoption Attorneys • Stepparent Adoption

For more information on Adoption Attorney Stephen W. Hayes, visit http://www.tsglaw.com/people/hayes.shtml.

Find adoption agencies, attorneys and other adoption professionals at Directory.Adoption.com.

To see your ad here, visit http://directory.adoption.com/upgrade.php.

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11. ADOPTIONSHOP.COM PICK

Love from China - Only $9.95

These generously sized bibs are made from plush knitted terry and slip over baby's head easily. The flags of various countries are embroidered on with "Love From" the country. The 80% cotton/20% polyester bibs machine wash and dry beautifully.

For more information and ordering instructions, visit http://adoptionshop.com/cgi-bin/products/NOR00003.html.

For more adoption products, visit http://adoptionshop.com.

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16. COUNSEL FROM AN ADOPTEE

This section is not intended for search advise. It is meant to be an advise column for people with questions concerning their feelings, interested in the opinion of someone who can relate. The views expressed by this author is solely his own, and for which the author is responsible. The content within this column is not to be considered as professional medical, legal or behavioral health information to be used in diagnosis, treatment or actions that would require the consultation and/or services of a licensed, certified or accredited professional. These views do not necessarily represent the views of Adoption Week e-Magazine.

Question:

I found by biological son about 6 yrs ago. He moved onto our property 2 yrs ago. He's a very loving son, but I sometimes have a hard time connecting. He's 34 and gets through life but not involved with it. He has no career or plans for a future, and it seems like I'm raising a 13-year-old sometimes. He keeps in touch with his adoptive mom; however, he grew up and was not raised.

Can you help? It seems like all I do is nag.

Thanks,

N.

Answer:

N.

Okay, first things first, what is your 34-year-old biological son (whom you placed for adoption) doing living at home with you? He is a 34-year-old man, an adult. In my opinion, you should have never let him live with you for an extended period of time to begin with. He is taking advantage of you, and you should put your foot down immediately.

My advice is to tell him that if he does not have a job and is not out of your house in three months (at the most), he is no longer welcome to stay in your home.

It is asinine that he thinks this is okay. This is an unhealthy situation for him, for yourself and for anyone else involved in this. He will never be able to take care of himself if he is never forced to. So long as he has someone else to cushion his fall, he will take advantage of that. If someone else wants to coddle him, fine. Just don't let it be you. I understand that you feel like you are obligated to help him, but you are not. You have done more than your part by letting him live there for two years.

I wish you the best, and I am sorry you have to go through this so close to the holidays.

DB

Question:

I am a 40-year-old adoptee and single mom of my 16-year-old pregnant daughter. She has currently decided to keep the baby. I love and admire my biological mother, (whom I have not been able to find to this day), for PLACING (not giving me up) me for adoption. I know in my heart from having my own children how much of a heroic and loving decision she made on my behalf. I am encouraging my daughter to do the same with all my strength and prayers.

I don't know where to turn for advice on helping her to chose adoption. She thinks she knows about raising a child on her own, but how do I show her the reality? The father of the baby is not helping. He is in jail currently and will be for several years. He wants to "be a daddy" and raise the baby with her when he gets out. He is using the love of a 16-year-old girl to keep this fantasy alive.

How do I show my child the selfless act of blessing another family with a miracle?

Thank you,

C.

Answer:

C.:

As your daughter's mother, it is your job to protect, teach and guide your child. As it is her "choice," it is also a parent's job to step in when the child is going to make a bad decision that will hurt not only their lives, but the lives of others.

Why don't you have her pretend to be a new mother for a few days. Designate something as a "baby". Make her go through the motions of changing the baby every hour or so, feeding the baby, burping the baby and playing with it. When she goes to bed, wake her up in the middle of the night four or five time and have her do it all again. Don't let her get two hours of sleep. The next day, do it again. Do it the day after that. Don't let her go out with her friends, so she can stay home and take care of the child. Also, try restricting her finances as a child would. EVERYTHING that goes into raising a newborn child. She will get the point.

Just remember, your job as a mother is to guide your children in the right direction. I promise you, your daughter has no idea what it is like to raise a child.

DB


BIO:

The author is a 21-year-old adoptee who wants to help those affiliated with the adoption community. Although the author does not have a medical degree, etc., he is simply extending a listening ear and the perspective of a young adult who is involved in the adoption triad.

His opinions are not necessarily those of Adoption.com and are provided voluntarily on a weekly basis.

To submit your questions, e-mail adoptionquestions2003@yahoo.com

In order for your questions/comments to be answered in the next week's issue, questions need to be submitted before 12 noon each Wednesday.

In addition, please remember to keep your questions appropriate for Adoption Week e-Magazine; otherwise, they will not be answered or included in the next week's edition.

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17. SPEAK OUT

To "Michelle" who was born in LA, CA in 1965: here are some tips on how to begin your search:
l. Go back to the agency and request non-identifying information. If you do not know the agency, then request same from the State of CA. Also request that you be put into the CA Registry. Address: 744 P St., Sacramento, 95814
2. Be sure to register with ISRR - it's free also - request a registration form by calling: 775-882-7755. For a small fee you can get your name at birth, your mother's maiden name and possibly the initials of your birth father. Good luck! - Alberta Sorensen (dickandernie57@astound.net

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Why do adopted child wait so long to start searching and what are they scared to find out? Their birth right is to know what the heritage/medical information is. I am just courious...my husband was adopted and has all of the paperwork to find out who his birth mother is and he just sits on it. - wife of adoptee

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I found my daughter a year ago. We have met and had a wonderful time. She has met my other two children, and I had to tell her that her dad was dead. I have since found out that he had another child and possibly two. They would be her half sister and brother. She phoned the mother, and I phoned her also, but we have not heard anything from her other brother and sister. I named my daughter Kimberly Ann at birth (12/10/1960). When her dad had his other daughter in 1969, he named her Kimberly Ann. I am hoping that Kimberly Ann Styve from Wisconsin sees this message and tries to contact her sister in Texas. The boy's name is Mark Styve. My daughter is very sad that she has not been able to contact her other siblings. She looks just like her dad and thinks maybe his other daughter would look like her. Sincerely, Jerri

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I am searching for my daughter born June 18, 1971 in Toronto Canada. The non-identifying information I received states that due to a shortage of Canadian adoptive parents, during that year, some babies were adopted into the States. How can I find out if this is true of my daughter? Thank you, Carmelita Drake (cd484@msn.com)

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Hi, I am a birth mother looking for my adopted daughter who was born on May 21, 1983 in Mobile, Alabama. Her birth name was Janice Lashay Gary. Her name could have been changed due to the adoption. I also have a picture of her that the social worker gave me. (She was maybe 1 or 2 years old.) I would like to find a site to post this picture, if anyone knows of such sites or any information, please help. My e-mail adress is choojochoo@yahoo.com. May God bless.

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Hi. my name is Erin. I am searching for my birth mother or father, I was adopted as a infant, born in Chicago, IL, at either Grant or St Joseph's Hospital on Sept 30th or Oct 1, 1979. My mother was from a southern state (e.g. Georgia), and she had other children. My adopted Mother and also my God-Mother both passed away. My Aunt is trying to assist me. I am really looking for my birth Mom in order to get my family history. I don't know where to turn or how to search for my birth records. I was adopted though the Lutheran Family Services Adoption Agency. Any assistance or guidance you can give me would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. - Erin (vrlynch@msn.com)

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I have recently created a Vietnam Babylift website at: http://www.Vietnambabylift.org, and I invite you to visit my site and to sign my Guest Book as well. Thank you very much, Lana Noone

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I'm an adoptee. I had a good childhood, but because of the lies and state laws, I'm not allowed to get any kind of updated medical history unless I get a lawyer and petition the courts and pay for a confidential intermediary. I don't have the money to spend on it. It costs over $600. All I want is the info that should rightfully be mine. The closed adoption system in Indiana has hurt so many people by not letting us have our medical history. I've almost died because of the closed system. When an adoptee becomes an adult, they should be allowed their records, without all the lies (we get). I've been searching for my bfamily since I was pregnant with my son (who is now 21), and I'm no closer to knowing the truth of my history than I was when I first began to ask questions. I'm not bitter because I was adopted, I'm bitter because of all the lies that still continue to this day. When will the lies end? - Vicki (6-7-60, Muncie, IN)

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To Speak Out and share your opinion or a comment, or to respond to a message, e-mail editor@adoptionmedia.com

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18. ADOPTION POETRY

19. ADOPTION CALENDAR

CHAT SCHEDULE:

Sunday:
Reunion Support Group Chat with Loretta in the Search and Reunion room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern

Monday:
Join Dr. Art Becker-Weidman in the hosted chat room at 2 pm Pacific, 3 pm Mountain, 4 pm Central, 5 pm Eastern and ask him questions on attachment therapy and treating children with trauma-attachment disorders.

Adoptee Chat with Thea in the hosted chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern. Thea is a caring adoptee that has recently reunited with her birthmother.

Tuesday:
Birth mom chat with Angelwings. Angel is a birthmom and adoptee. Her chat is held in the BirthMother.chat room at 4 pm Pacific, 5 pm Mountain, 6 pm Central, 7 pm Eastern

Birth father's General Support Chat in the hosted chat room with adoptee and birthfather, Terry. All are invited at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm central, 9 pm Eastern

Wednesday:
Pre- and adoptive parent chat with JJ and friends - Help as you begin the adoption process. Hosted in Adoptive Parents chat room at 5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern.

Parenting issues for adoptive/foster parents with Dimasmom in FosterCare chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

Join an informative chat on the ups and downs of reunion hosted by Sabra since 1997. Talk out your next step and share your experiences in search and reunion at 7 pm Pacific, 8 pm Mountain, 9 pm Central, 10 pm Eastern in the Search and Reunion chat room.

Thursday:
Evening with Colleen Buckner, search expert, in Search and Reunion chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

Friday:
If you are having a "limbo" type experience with your reunion, come and talk it over with those who've "been there-done that" themselves. Join co-hosting birth mothers, April and Judy, in the Search and Reunion room on Fridays: 5 pm Pacific, 6 pm Mountain, 7 pm Central, 8 pm Eastern.

Saturday:
Older child adoption/foster care behavioral issues with Jerry in FosterCare chat room at 6 pm Pacific, 7 pm Mountain, 8 pm Central, 9 pm Eastern.

For a listing of times and descriptions and to attend scheduled chats, or join the live chat, visit Forums.Adoption.com/Chat.

ADOPTION EVENTS:

PRE-ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP - Eight Tuesday Evenings
January 6 - Feb. 24 (7 pm - 9 pm)
San Jose
Resolve of Northern California
Explore your questions and concerns about adoption, and enjoy peer support while you learn about the adoption process. This support group provides information and support about the decision to adopt, and about all types of adoption. Led by Sara Lively, founder of Adoption Paths, an educational organization independent of any adoption agency. For more information and to register, call (831)476-7252 or visit http://www.AdoptionPaths.com.

EXPLORING ADOPTION: AN EDUCATIONAL SERIES - Four Saturday Afternoons
January 10 - 31 (3 pm - 5 pm)
Santa Cruz, California
Adoption Paths
Explore your questions and concerns along with other people who are interested in adopting. This educational series provides extensive and unbiased information about all types of adopting. Taught by Sara Lively, founder of Adoption Paths. For more information and to register, call (831)476-6252 or visit http://www.AdoptionPaths.com.

For local listings, regional seminars, and many other adoption events, visit Events.Adoption.com.

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